When people see im not a Mormon goer anymore, they always tell me that im not happy! Holy shit if people keep telling me this, i might start believing it...

They're telling you that because they are p r o j e c t i n g their unhappiness on to you.....

Mormons project...ALOT then go and hide in a corner when called on it...

Have they been praying you wouldn't be, and think their prayers have been answered?
My parents actually prayed that I would have a miserable life so I would come back to church.
They can't figure out why their prayers haven't been answered. I hear they take much comfort in any misery or illness I suffer in this life. And they (and other mo's) wonder why mean ole me has banished them from my house. They aren't even allowed in via phone or internet.

P: True happiness is found only in the gospel of JC, as dictated by the LDS church.

C: Therefore, if you've rejected the gospel of JC, as dictated by the LDS church, you don't have true happiness.


If people think I'm not happy right now, compared to how "happy" I was as a TBM, it's because I no longer allow myself to slap on a smiley face in order to be a "light unto the world". I don't have to look happy. Appearances aren't what matters. Living in denial may look cheerful, but it's hard on the spirit and body.

Lately, my husband's TBM family made a special effort to bring us back to the fold. We got the "I know you think you're happy, but you're not" line more than a few times. They're full of baloney.

That's actualy why I wouldn't do missionary work w/my friends and inactive family: I felt it would be lying to tell them that the gospel would bring them happiness when I felt so unhappy with it...

Because to them, being miserable on this earth is "happiness" b/c it means they are so righteous. Therefore, if you think you're happy, you must really be blinded by the evil in your life...

This quote rings true and might explain it:


http://www.rickross.com/reference/general/general431.html#Dispensing%20of%20Existence:
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Emotional control is another means by which cults change people. Cults manipulate emotions in order to gain a recruit's compliance. Their goal is to convince people that within the group everything is joyful--while in the outside world there is most often negativity, "spiritual blindness", or even misery and despair. Groups may try to create a high-spirited atmosphere--especially during the initial recruiting period. This reinforces the contrived perception that there is a certain euphoria in living within the group--while again suggesting an impersonal coldness in the outside world. Cults often attempt to turn people against their loved ones by claiming that the only authentic kind of "love" is essentially the property of the group. They often use unreasonable guilt, shame and fear to maintain the loyalty of members through their public confessions and by indoctrinating members with seemingly phobic/unreasonable fears about leaving. Individuals will try to change their thoughts, behaviors and emotions to match a program the cult has managed to instill through their process of indoctrination.

Tell them what the doctor told the patient "If you say it hurts there then it hurts there."
If you say you're happy, you're happy, and it is really none of their business anyway!!

I don't know. Do you frown a lot? Are you morose?
you know the cure: turn that frown upside down and smile ...etc! :-)

haha, well i thought it was quite the contrary, i thought i smiled more.

pharrell Wrote:
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> haha, well i thought it was quite the contrary, i
> thought i smiled more.


Ya, I know I smile more! Especially when told I'm not happy!! How goofy is that anyhow! :-) Sometimes I just plain crack up laughing!!

The whole thing is really annoying, especially when almost all of my social network, is a bunch of active mormons. Tempted to just start over, and surround myself with people who dont care if im mormon or not.

This is more pernicious than I thought.

I'm new to the boards, though I have been lurking for a while. Before RFM, I thought I was the only one going through all this Mormon nonsense. My TBM family wants me to feel all alone and isolated in my loneliness and "unhappiness."

Mia is right! I have had to cut off some family members completely. They would not respect my boundary of not trying to manipulate me. I was fine with talking about Christ, and love, and children and family, and whatever I thought we shared in common. But, gradually, I'm discovering that the Mormon view of these things is "way out there," and not what they pretend to believe at all. For example, these family members don't believe in unconditional love. (I could write pages about this)

This is gas-lighting! Those prayers are veiled threats! Anyone who wants misery for you is your enemy! I know this is black-and-white thinking, but knowing who my enemies helps me know what is going on.In leaving the cult, I'm constantly having to re-align myself with reality.

There are some mo's who think the only reason people have a glass of wine is to drown their sorrows.

No no no, thats what tequila is for. lol

For anyone drowning their sorrows with a glass of wine tonight.....cheers!

Far better to tell themselves you're miserable than face the fact that their entire lives have been sacrificed to a lie.

Edited to add: People who telling you what your feelings and/or thoughts are is a strong sign of abuse. They aren't letting you "own" your own inner self but trying to claim they know more than you do about it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/16/2012 04:24PM by Rebeckah.

Exactly Rebeckah.

Next time somebody tells me I look like I've lost that light, or that I'm not happy, I'll just say "I don't need any more of your emotional abuse."