I've been out for about 17 years now. I have followed this BB for years and periodically check in for new updates and developments. Last week I decided to send in my email request for removal. My attitude has been of indifference, figuring they weren't bothering me and who cares if my name is still there it really carries no weight. But I realized after vising the boards again and catching up on some reading that I needed to completely severe the relationship officially for myself. Now, having sent the email I surprisingly feel very relieved to have no lingering ties.

Over the weekend I meet with my exmo family for a little get together at the park. The majority of family is still in Cult but most of us have woken up and we're out - everyone there was out. We found ourselves talking about the old temple ceremonies, JS and his wives that he took from other men, DNA, Archaeology, etc. My Brother's girlfriend was there who'd never associated with the Mormons, so it's always a little awkward when you're having these discussions with outsiders because you feel like an absolute idiot to have believed these fantasy stories. She watched Big Love so she has some frame of reference which helps. We had to explain the reality is that the beginnings of the Church is more like Warren Jeff's circus and over time it mainstreamed. We had to explain Warren Jeff's clan didn't mainstream which is why the world shuns their religion and way of life (not to mention it's illegal). If the Church hadn't mainstreamed they'd be no different then Warren Jeff's clan.

As we know, most current members have no idea what the Church's history involved they have the vanilla version sanitized, and then they're of course highly discouraged to research which keeps the blinders on.

I still have friends and family in the Church, accomplished Doctors, Engineers, Programmers, when it comes to politics they're all over it they watch the read, they're very educated. It's very puzzling how they exam everything but their religion, I really don't understand it.

Thank God I'm out, I just wish we'd never been in - the culture and the lies are embedded, like it or not. It's like we went to war together experienced this crazy thing together and can only relate to each other because of how unbelievable it was. The early seminary, the mission, the temple, the life. They took so much that the Church was my identity for a long period of my life. It took me a long while even after leaving to understand who I really am and establish an identity independent of the Church. I have lost friends and family relationships who are still bitter at me for having abandoned their religion and behind my back point to their justifications of why I left. On the other side, I've gained friends who aren't so narrow minded, many of my family members left the Morg, and my relationship with the world and people in it is open, explored, and enjoyed without the oppressive ideology which feels great.

Thanks exmormon.org for providing this valuable service and good luck brothers and sisters of the light it's not an easy path just be thankful you're awake now.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/16/2012 04:07PM by Glenn.

It is refreshing to hear much of your family is out of Mormonism. Congrats on resignation, and your authentic life.

I enjoyed your non-Mormon family knowing something about Mormonism, based on Big Love, for personal reasons of my own;)

Thanks for posting!
wings

of the importance of symbolism. The resignation letter is a symbol--we really don't have to undo any "bonds" to their fake alternative interview any more than I have to resign from the Star Trek Academy, but somehow it helps mentally to widen the separation.

Good for you! Stay with us now and help others to find their way out. Every voice is important.

Anagrammy

Congratulations on severing all ties.

I can only imagine your conversations with your exmo family about the truthfulness of the church, they sound very interesting.

You mentioned you've been out of 17 years. It's been only two since I discovered the truth and even though I'm still with one foot in the church my burden is already lighter. I also think that mormonism is something that even 17 years from now will somehow be part of my conversations. =)

Good luck and thanks for sharing this with us.
D

wings - Me and several other family and friends loved Big Love!

Anagrammy - agree Symbols and Ritual are so powerful this is an excellent point and by me executing this step was surprisingly cathartic.

Deconverted2010 - the good news is that sometimes several months will go by and I don't even think about it - you will too. To me that was another life,that person is looooong gone. I sometimes examine him and inspect his former beliefs, shake my head and laugh, but for the most part that guy - that returned missionary, temple attending, tithe paying, narrow minded, celestial bound, testimony bearing, white shirt and tie guy is gone, I don't even know that guy. I just revisited him last week and officially severed his relationship to the church(which I should have done years ago). I know this sounds a little crazy, but it's not, you'll look back after several years and realize you're a different person, a better person, and that time in your life served you for something but it's not who you really are.