So my ex-wife started watching the 4 part podcast of the institute director and his wife explaining their journey out of the church.

I get an email where she asks "they mentioned that they even only had sex in the church-approved manner. What the hell does that mean?"

I sent her a link to the January 5th first presidency letter where it states oral sex is unholy and impure.

She freaked out saying "that's totally ridiculous. That letter isn't on a church approved site and must be doctored. The prophet would never say such a thing!"

I just replied that there are many people who remember that letter and it's aftermath, but to keep watching because it has nothing to do with the big reasons people leave.

I also asked her "if you don't think that letter is real, then what do you think the McClays were referring to???"

Apparently ex DW hasn't made the connection between ChurchCo actions & their need for Control.

Who would Dream Up this weird stuff?

- Magic Underwear

-'disapproved' sexual modes/positions

Then, as the fringe things are 'revealed', they're buried in the pile of ignored/forgotten:

sex ONLY with garmies ON

Blood Atonement

No playing cards

WoW NOT being a commandment

etc.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2012 04:00PM by guynoirprivateeye.

I was lucky in a much that I joined the church as a convert, so didnt go through the masturbation interviews or the youth brainwashing on how evil sex is.

However, I do remember the bishop interviewing myself and my wife and telling us that oral sex is not what good mormon couples should be doing..... It damaged my marriage

Are certain positions unholy as well? Ones that don't include anal or oral?

Yes, missionary position only! Must always be thinking about church...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/19/2012 04:31PM by freeman.

I don't think you must always be thinking about church, or The Church. I think it's permissible to sometimes think about Heavenly Father watching.

To paraphrase Chris, on Family Guy, "God's watching me do number two? Oh man, I'm a sinner, and God's a pervert....".

Reminds me of Victorian times..."Lie back and think of England...".

I saw my tbm ex last week and we briefly discussed the McLays. We were both in their ward before the divorce. She knew Brooke well when we lived in their ward. She was sick about them leaving. According to my 19 year old son, she and most members in their ward think one or both of them committed adultery. My ex refuses to watch the interview because they are filled with the spirit of the adversary.

As for oral sex, my ex still thinks that letter is in effect. She's 43.



Lost Mystic Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> So my ex-wife started watching the 4 part podcast
> of the institute director and his wife explaining
> their journey out of the church.
>

"Never let the tender intimacies of your married life become unrestrained."

Source:
Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Harold B. Lee, 109
“Chapter 12: The Divine Purpose of Marriage,”

http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=cc9197a7c1d20110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=198bf4b13819d110VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD

Ahh yes, Mos should restrain their orgasms. That will make them happier than they've ever been!

Just keep repeating--I refuse to come, I refuse to come. And I refuse to enjoy it if I do.

God's chosen way of sex, obviously.

Anything else would be unholy and impure.

I remember the "Letter" well. As I recall, if you had engaged in any unapproved behaviors you were supposed to confess to your bishop. So, being dutiful morgbots, we scheduled our appointment and humiliated ourselves to our bishop. He was actually great about it and I certainly got the feeling he was not thrilled to have to absolve most of the ward over the next several weeks. I recall that it raised quite a stir and it was later rescinded.

In the ward I was in at the time, we had a special meeting for only the adults who were married and the bishop read this letter over the pulpit.

So yeah, it was official. And, I'm sure you can imagine just how wonderful it was to be in this meeting with everyone else in the ward, be told we were going to receive a special message from the prophet and then having this read out loud.

Still one of my most WTF memories...

My wife (soon-to-be) and I got the full blast interrogation from my SP when we were about to be married in the SL temple, way back in 1982. He quoted the letter, and said that it came from the prophet himself...he then went into detail about sex acts that make you unworthy to enter the temple. Oral was banned for temple recommend holders. He was gross and sickening and out of line, but he plowed through the interview un-deterred and gave us the word "straight from the first presidency"

What a pig he was.

MORmON *apostle* (ASSpostHOLE) John Henry Smith, father of MORmON *apostle* pres George Albert Smith who then became LDS Inc pres, testified in the name of Christ that any couple who had engaged in sex with out the express purpose of creating a pregnancy was guilty of adultery. Most likely your wife is guilty of Adultery according to her cherished LDS leadership.
let her chew on that. (Ever wonder why MORmONS are so screwed up sexually and emiotionally?)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYsi-r1amY0
in the video at the 3:15 mark

I had a friend whose husband informed her after they got married that there would be no sex unless it was to make babies.
2 years later he left her for his boyfriend.
I guess that didn't work for either of them.

Mia Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I had a friend whose husband informed her after
> they got married that there would be no sex unless
> it was to make babies.
> 2 years later he left her for his boyfriend.
> I guess that didn't work for either of them.


wow, thats almost as nice of a blindside blow as that thing the MORmONS do when they put members through that creepy temple ceremony. with a husband like that, who needs enemies!

That Jan 1982 letter is definitely genuine. I found it in my Ward's white binder for temple recommends in the summer of 2000 when I was a Bishop's Counselor. Then I scanned it in personally in the summer of 2000 and then emailed it to the lds-mormon.com webmaster.

Its an egotistical mind set that worries about these things.

Sure intimacy is natural and what works in marrige.

Confessing private life is damaging in itself.

There is no damage unless the spouse runs to the bishop and complains..

If she is happy with it, proceed and have fun in marrige and all positions etc..

dont push the kids away or mistreat them because of so called selfish wants for pleasure, do not disturb.

Intimacy relationship never pushes the kids away and sex is not dirty or have any guilt attached.

How do we explain to kids if they catch us in the act doing the doggy position? Let alone where we stick it?

They just need to see the mother is happy if not, common sense says we have been caught out, but keep the bishop out of it. Just take time off and restore intimacy....

Do that which a couple both agree to and works.
It might make the man more happy than the woman or vise versa but reach some compromise and if not, go mastubate and keep the fucking bishop out of it none of his fucking business..

ex lds aussie...

sounds like plain old common sense

but when has common sense ever been part of the cult?

Isn't it interesting that your wife cannot get a answer through church channels to what it is that the Church teaches.

Why cannot she get a simple "yea" or "nay" on the letter? Why can't she just ask the Bishop and get a simple yes or no?

Why isn't there an official public repository of First Presidency letters so the members can know what it is that the leaders have taught? You would think such a thing should be online at www.lds.org.

And, they say in church over and over again, "the Lord's house is not a house of confusion."

Ask your wife this, "why can't we easily find if this letter is real or not? Why does the Church hide its teachings from the members?"

Even as a TBM, I always thought that any A-hole who told me how to do it with my girl was simply just an A-hole at best.

Be moral...Go Oral!!!!

What two consenting adults do in their bedroom together is their own business and the old folks who missed out on the polygamy boom of the 1800's can kiss my a$$

Jealous old farts!

Other institutions have institutional memory. Mormonism has institutional amnesia.

Where's the "like" button. Great comment summer!

+1.

I think I'm going to steal that one.

The one about now blowjobs or cunning linguists?

http://www.lds-mormon.com/worthy_letter.shtml

Nice title for your thread, btw....

for this. The SP was a quadriplegic and was very much in favor of this restriction on private lives.

We had a friend who was a chaplain in the Air Force. He was outraged that the church would interfere in couples' private lives.

Clearly, the pilot briefly became part of the temple recommend process. My ex and I never thought it was anybody else's business and lied about it in interviews. Current DH and I never did go to the temple, thank goodness!

when I was in college we had a stake presidency counselor who was in a wheelchair and I was serving in the bishopric at the time. I remember many interviews/counseling meetings with him.

1975-ish, I think

>The SP was a quadriplegic and was very much in favor of this restriction on private lives

So, you think that the two were linked? His being a quadriplegic and wanting to restrict other people's sex lives?

Growing up in TSSC I was told the church stops at the bedroom door.
I guess those days are long over.

Hahaha! The church has always been about what happens in the bedroom.

How old are you?

The church has shifted towards "the church stops at the bedroom door" more recently (in a marriage)

ronas Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> How old are you?
>
> The church has shifted towards "the church stops
> at the bedroom door" more recently (in a marriage)


This is the attitude I recall also. The only exceptions were usually given freely and unrestrained by a few older men who thought everyone needed their opinions! (NOT!)

Traditional thinking on marriage relations in the LDS Church has changed over it's 180 years!

From the time you turn 8 until you die the church is in your pants one way or the other!
starting interviews age 8
fleecing your wallet....I guess that starts a birth.
monitoring your underwear
telling who, where, when, why, and how to have sex.

+1!

Was there a First Presidency letter to rescind the first one? I'd hate to bring it up to TBM DH and have him think it's still in effect... Any links to a cease and desist of this heinous letter?

There was never any letter to rescind the first. A bit under a year later there was a "clarification" that Bishops and Stake Presidents were not supposed to pry--not supposed to ask specific questions about a couple's sex life.