Mormons have lots of beliefs that now that I am out really just seem crazy. I think one of the ones that always makes me shake my head is how they see satan. They think that they are locked in a epic battle with him. You can always hear them talk about how smart he is and how he is trying to bring them and the church down. It is literary the belief that an evil invisible man and his host of evil minions are constantly plotting their demise. Satan seems to be there bogeyman, the ever present enemy. There are plenty of others but i want to hear what you guys think.

That we'd get in a horrible car wreck.

Hmmm. Are there ACTUALLY more car wrecks on Sunday?

That's easy:

On one hand, kolobians assert that there's a difference between element and intelligence. Intelligences are discrete units of consciousness that are self-determining. Element is simply energy that intelligences can manipulate.

On the other hand, kolobians assert that an intelligence has reached god status when the element obey their commands by virtue of their level of priesthood power, even going so far as to claim that a god who attempts to serve himself or do anything "outside the program" will lose the loyalty of the elements and will have no power.

Well, it's glaringly obvious that if the difference between element and intelligence is consciousness, then how can element that isn't conscious choose to obey or disobey an intelligence who may or may not be following an artificial program created by other intelligences?

If the element is consciouss, then it's an intelligence. If all energy is consciouss, then that means that in order to be a god you must be knowingly enslaving 99% of conscioussness in the cosmos in order to make your planets, stars, worms, viruses, etc.

It's all bullshit, folks. And it's bad for ya..

If I dressed like everyone else I would be a bad example to them, and I would probably sexually assaulted.

If I didn't have mormon husband, there was no hope for me.

If I didn't raise my kids in the church, I would be held accountable for all of their sins.

That the BOM has answers to EVERY life question.

Drinking tea and coffee keeps you out of heaven.

The Joseph smith story. And everything that's involved with it.

That the bish. or sp. knows what you've been up to.

You will burn in hell if you don't give the church 10%

My underwear would protect me.

RM's make good husbands.
I could go on and on. It's endless. The church has spent incredible amounts of time and (our) money to re-enforce these beliefs.

That tithing didn't go to build the mall or to prop 8 or that it's not going to Romney's superPAC.

that the earth is 6000 years old and suffered a worldwide flood.

although you can't pin this one solely on the morg

The probability that the Earth is just 6000 years old is still higher than the probability that an eternal "God" created it. At least we know the Earth had a "Day One". God is supposed to always have existed.

Both concepts are obviously false.

That the entire concept of celstial Mormonism is built on a MLM pyramid. There are hierarchies within the church on Earth, but we are expected to believe also that God (Heavenly Father) is our God, but that each of us may become a God. We will always be in Elohim's downline, and Elohim himself has an upline. Elohim has a God that we do not know anything about or speak about, but exists only in Mormon logic and his God has a God and so on.

This cycle goes on for eternity - which is helpful as this explains why there isn't a God of all Gods at the top of the pyramid. For if we were to speak of this God, we would need an explanation for how he came about, and why he doesn't have or need a God.

That emotions can tell you the truth of ANY matter.

I know I give my mom a bad feeling, and I don't care anymore, I'm done trying to prove I'm still a good person.

The fact that she thinks I'm not a good person anymore gives me a bad feeling. LOL

Ooh, not the evils of coffee??? Ono, I almost let the s-word fly in her presence and she heard the SH sound of it... bad bad bad evil apostate!

Two completely mutually exclusive ideas. Completely illogical.

One day daughter came home and said her friend XXXX had seen Satan in the girl's bathroom at the bowling ally. This story made its way around the neighborhood as gospel truth. Of course my daughter is completely confused about this because at our house we try to live in reality. I was totally speechless.

Daughter asks "Is this a Mormon thing?".

Yup. Only mormons think Satan hangs out in bowling ally bathrooms.

The whole bloody train wreck of crazy beliefs right down to the men in the North Pole (maybe not believed by too many).

Death oaths and temple myths.

Briggy

Dinosaurs never lived on this planet and the bones are here because god put this planet together from older planets which did apparently host dinosaurs.

One of my seminary teachers was told this by a temple president in answer to his question.

Pretty much everything....the whole JS vision deal, the golden plates, Kolob (WTF is THAT about?) and especially the Rocky Mountain Surf Shirts AKA magic underwear....

God can't be everywhere...


but Satan CAN?

Apart from the temple - or so I heard.

So when I felt naughty thoughts in the temple, they weren't from Satan, they were me thinking as a man.

Feelings are proof?

Evil spirits control the water.

You need to take the sacrament with the right (covenant) hand.

Joseph Fielding Smith saying in either 1961 or 1962 in Hawaii that man would never reach the moon.

Then came July 20, 1969.

In 1971, the astronauts took a Utah state flag to the moon and gave it to said Joseph Fielding Smith. Oh, I wish I could've been there to see him squirm! (Evil)

If satan controls the water, then why is there a pool in every SC and temple? Why does every member have to be held under? Why do they use it for sacrament? Why are so man youth activities centered around water? Why do they have Mormon cruises? Why are members allowed to own swim pools and fountains? Seems to me like that would be called tempting Satan.

Satan only controls the wild waters. It was a pagan tradition that "old gods" controlled, or moved about in the wild, untamed by human hand (dams, stock ponds, etc), waters. As with most Christian coopted myths, the "old gods" became Satan.

That God would choose Joe Smith to restore "His" gospel on earth.

There are really Mormon cruises? That would be something to see. How boring......they wouldn't be in the bars or casinos, and probably wouldn't even watch the movies shown onboard, but they could eat plenty!

If you are not with us,,you are against us.
The list could go on,,and on,,and on,,,

Heard someone once talking about how the lost tribes live in an air bubble under the ocean off the Gulf of Mexico!

Oh! Ooh! That Bigfoot is a still-living apostle! My ENTIRE TBM family accepts this 100%! But then, if Bigfoot is an apostle of Christ, who has been alive & kicking all this time, then why did the gospel need restoring & the church established?? Where was this guy?? Why was he being such a slacker that a "14 year old child" had to do his job?? LOL.

Though, I DO remember being taught that Bigfoot was Cain.

+1

I still have an irrational and abiding fear that when I die all my evil thoughts and acts are going to be thrown up on the JumboTron for everyone to see... Yikes!

Cuz that's exactly what happens in that movie. Hilarious.

2nd is Garden of Eden is in Missouri.

Love it, one couldn't make up **** like this its so crazy.

I'll try this again, first attempt was rejected.

If you don't have children here you can never have an increase in kingdoms and will never reach the celestial kingdom.

Oh if your faithful enough you'll have all of the children you want in eternity.

Insensitive !@#$%



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/31/2012 08:06PM by cherokeewoman.

where do i start...

horses in the american continent before the spaniards
garden of eden in missouri
polyandry and angels with swords
hebrew DNA on the native americans
book of abraham


but to me the winner is:
people with darker skin color were less valiant in heaven.

so according to mormonism, nordic looking people like swedish were more righteous in heaven than let's say italians.


sorry, i can't continue. it makes me feel stupid that i once belonged to that organization. blush.

Very confusing for Italo-Swedes like myself.

There is this invisible man in the sky who can do magic. He loves you and wants you to be happy. But if you piss him off you go to a place he created that is full of pain and fire for eternity. He loves you, but you must suffer.

This is just ducking stupid! Only Jesus, meek and mild, was needed to intially deliver such filth and barbarism. Thanks joe. Thanks XTIANS. You people believe such wonderful things.


HH. =)

Satan is VERY REAL to TSCC. Remember they obey Satan in the temple when told what to do EVEN THOUGH all Christian churches teach that Satan is the great liar. WTF?