If you are into metaphors you have to read this list of metaphors created by TBM's making fun of their own culture. After reading these tell me if you detect the same under current of "self-righteousness" that I do. That under current seems to go like this: "I'm embarrassed about my weird shallow culture and so grateful that I am not like most dumb Mormons. Mormon culture is a dagger to my dignity."

http://www.motleyvision.org/2008/failed-metaphors/

Here are a few of my own metaphors about Mormonism:

1. Thomas Monson, The First Presidency and full disclosure of history and finances are like Ken Lay, Enron and Arthur Andersen.

2. Boyd Packer and diversity are like Fidel Castro and Cuban democracy.

3. Paying tithing to the LDS Church is like betting in Las Vegas, the house always wins.

4. General Authorities and Mormonism are like polar bears and the melting arctic ice cap.

5. Thomas Monson's public relations department is like Saddam Hussein's Iraqi Ministry of Information.

6. The Mormon Church's relationship with Google s like the Titanic's relationship with a certain iceberg.

those sound more like similes than metaphors :-)

love it

combine those with the non-sequitars spoken as 'Common Knowledge' in church, and you've got....

e.g.: If you put a frog in a pan of cold water...