Her fifth child is not even one yet. She was telling me that she already wants another one because the thought of not having a baby in the house makes her so sad. That whole conversation made me sad. They have to grow up some time. She is only 30 and has five kids!

convince her that it wasn't necessary to have a baby every 2 years. They got married when she was 29 and she had 5 every 2 years like clockwork.

She had FIVE every two years, you mean like a litter?

:)

Perhaps the only time she has an orgasm is in childbirth.

Snork! See below, GMTA.

C'mon you guys, this is about babies. Not sex and orgasms. ;)

I'm just trying to 'splain it, Lucy!

I think she is going to have at least two or three more at the rate she is going. I feel bad for her older kids. They don't get the quality time with their parents.

Maybe she just likes doing the nasty.... damned be the consequences.

Ron

I think it's because she will feel worthless otherwise. When she has babies in the house, someone NEEDS her. Babies take up all her time and attention. She feels useful and necessary, like she matters.

Without babies, in the church, a woman has no purpose. That's what she's trying to avoid: feeling worthless. IMO.

I relate to her...I love the experience of having babies and raising young children, and I already have 3. I think that this is a primal instinct for women. If you have the desire, time and resources to raise happy, healthy children i say go for it. If you are just having a lot of babies to increase your husband's odds of being a general authority or fatten your welfare check, that's stupid.

I know that I will really miss snuggling babies and the pitter-patter of little feet when my kids get older...I think that is a normal thing. I know lots of nevermo women who are reluctant to be done having babies.

See you all later...going to get pregnant now!! just kidding :)

shadowgirl360 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
I think that this is a primal instinct for
> women.


Not all women.

Exactly, as this woman here doesn't have that primal instinct, which is why I didn't last long in the church.

Ditto.

Yeah I have three and I'm pretty overwhelmed. I love these guys to pieces but I don't have the temperament for loads of kids.

Same

Tell her to buy a doll.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hc-CgmyMamo

Just remember Michelle Duggar. I would it could definitely be an addiction.

I'm sure a woman I know was addicted to having babies. After several children (that they couldnt afford) she had several false pregnancies. During the few months of the "pregnancy" she had positive pregnancy tests & her stomach looked like she was pregnant. The she would seemingly have a miscarriage, but there was no fetus according to the doctor that did the D&C.
After 6 kids her health prevented future pregnancies. I think that was her TBM way to have self esteem and feel worthy.

My DW loves having babies. Being a mom.

Menopause was a tragedy for her.

I think the church was attractive to her because it validated and gave "god's sanction" to what she wanted to do with her life.

Yeah, I don't think I know any women addicted to having babies per se. It's more that their entire identity and purpose in life is attached to being a mother. Without a baby to tend to, she is worthless pretty much.

I'm kinda bitter about this issue because I worked my ass off to get through law school and not one peep from RS about my acheivement when I graduated. But Sis so and so is having her 5th baby so let's throw her ANOTHER baby shower cuz it's such a big deal. Eff that who cares.

Having no fetus doesn't necessarily mean she wasn't pregnant. The same thing happened to me ... depending on a stage at which the embryo stops developing normally, it can be blighted ovum or missed misscarriage. Basically, the baby part never develops or develops but dies before it can be seen on ultrasound.

It happens more often then most people know about.

She might have been making it up but maybe she wasn't.

I don't think she made up being pregnant , she just wanted to be pg so intensely that her body went along with her wish. That was many years ago and they didn't use the technologies we have now to monitor pregnancies. Within a couple years she had 3 false pregnancies where D&C's were done at 4 or months when they suspected a miscarriage. When you are desperate to be pregnant when you can't even afford to feed and cloth your other 4 children, something is severely out of line with good mental health.

Mormonism isn't the only culture big on kids. I even think that mormons are being outdone by a lot of people in the US and around the world even.

Yes. I had nine children, so I can give you a peek into the psyche of at least one women breeder.

When you have a baby, you get to sit down and nap and you are still "working."

You can work out your emotional deficits of mothering in a new mother-child relationship, i.e., you can do all the things your mother never did, be all the things she never was, and heal yourself in time.

You have a built-in excuse (I'm sorry but you know I'm pregnant/nursing/caring for a newborn.)

You can't disappoint people because nobody expects dependability from a mega-mother.

They don't call you to a responsible position if you are a convert AND a multipara. They know they can't guilt your family into supporting you so you can clean bathrooms or whatever.

Best saved for last-- YOU GET STATUS POINTS FOR BREEDING. Like being an Olympian. Look at her! Just gave birth and she's here in Sacrament meeting and it was only two days ago! Super Woman!

There is no heirarchal chain up the laddar of women's power. The Relief Society presidency isn't a real possibility for all, but childbirth is.

The unspoken folk religion aspect of this is really weird. It is like that missionary who got bit by a lion at the zoo and then everyone said how blessed he was and how important to God he was that he survived. If you give birth over and over, people can easily think you are Blessed by God because your children are special.

Even people with disabled children twist it so that they are somehow "special." As if being ordinary is something to be ashamed of. Most of us are ordinary unique snowflakes and those who think otherwise are experiencing some brain conditioned exceptionality that will get in the way of relating to others in the family, in the church, in the community, at work and especially on the campaign trail.

Anagrammy

I so understand this! And, yet, I can honestly say that it is possible to have a houseful without being addicted.

I had 5 kids over 20 years. They were 5 years apart. When we decided to have another, it was a 'we' decision. We all wanted another baby around the house and the youngest was in Kindergarten by then.

But the folks who have babies every other year . . . okay, that's a problem. How can you possibly get to know that little one in just a year? How can your body recover? How can you financially accept those kids? And most of all: who is really raising those kids? You? Or your kids?

Do watch people like the Duggars. They don't even pretend to raise their babies--they tell you they hand off the babies to the next in line. Then they go off and have another? That's true addiction!

So what happens when her husband dumps her in favor of that sweet little thing that lives a few houses away? NO job skills, NO training in anything, AND NO way to realistically make a living!

I would say most TBM's are extremely brainwashed to have as many children as possible.

I had a friend like that. She was addicted to "bringing spirits down for the Lord".

With each kid they became poorer and more miserable, but you can't reason with a true believer.

They finally stopped at 7 (!) and then they got divorced.

Ah, the blessings of following the prophet.

One word: "endorphins"

I am fine with people having as many children as they want, but only if they love having babies, kids, teenage children, and adult children.

The thing with babies is they grow up. Does this woman like raising children, or does she like babies? Cause I'm pretty sure there's probably moms with newborns who would love an hour long break, and your friend could hold the baby and get her fix.

Tell her she is really hurting her bidy to have them that close togther. Her body needs time to recover and build up all the minerals like calcium that babies suck out of you. It could cause her some health problems down the road and then she wouldn't be able to take care of her babies when they need her.

I am sure she likes the attention she gets when she is pregnant. And it is what the church tells women is their purpose in life. But if she really loves her children she needs to think about what is best for them and her health.

I had a friend like that. She ended up with 6 kids, and two miscarriages.

Some women, like her, just love having babies around. Once their kids start getting older, they miss having that babe in arms. Babies are entirely dependent on us, and need to be taken care of. Some people love to take care of things. For myself, I stick with taking care of my cat. LOL

But anyway, once a kid gets to the point where they can go, "No!" when you ask them to do something, such a woman longs to have one of those cute little squirmy, dependent creatures in their arms again. A creature that is totally dependent on your love and never tells you where to go.

The first two were still in diapers when she had two sets of twins. I think she was addicted to the attention and the wardmembers rallying to support her bad choices. She also loved to brag that the lord wanted such a wonderful soul to "bring down" choice spirits from the preexistence.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/11/2012 11:36AM by Cheryl.