There is an extended family member who just offed himself. I don't know if he was planning a mission and I don't know the level of pressure on him. All I'm saying is, it can be hell for 19 year olds. I was there once, and in Utah.

Oh no! Our condolences to you, and I sincerely hope he is at peace now.

News of your young people doing this makes me very sad. You say "extended family member," did you know him well? My deepest sympathy to you and your family.

I'm so very sorry for your tremendous loss. My sister took her own life and it is rough to live with a loss like this. It's so sad that a 19 year old would feel so bleak. My heart goes out to all who love him.

I am so sorry to hear this.

If you are a young person reading this, reach out. There are young people here who understand what you are experiencing, who will listen. You can speak anonymously, some even post their emails so you can have an email pal.

There is more than one way to have a wonderful life. Don't give up.

Love and light to the family dealing with this terrible loss.

Anagrammy

I didn't know him well. Probably met him a couple times at family functions. Just didn't see their family often. Just mostly posted this as a point of discussion. I just think....it's kinda hell on kids his age in Utah.

Yes--it is hell for kids in Utah. The backlash for not serving a mission can be HUGE. You really find 2 extremes here in utah--and you can find them both in my house. My son works at proving how bad he is while my daughter works at proving how good she is.

I remember a young kid in my ward who was moving up from Young mens and into whatever comes next?

He was asked to bear his testimnony one sacrament. The poor kid was shaking. It looked like abuse to me. His testimony was obviously just in line with what was expected of him and what he thought everyone was expecting to hear.

Not long after he was all getting ready for his mission and had not even read the Book of Mormon.

I couldn't believe the church was sending such uneducated kids out. I was appalled and realised then that missions are really to convert the kids primarily and if some sucker or more comes along and gets baptised along the way then its a bonus!

On another occasion a young man was interviewed for his worthiness to serve a mission and it was anounced in sacrament by the Bishop that he was found worthy to serve etc. The same meeting the young man was playing with his mobile phone throughout!!

He just didn't give a hoot really.

And rightly so.

It must be traumatic being a young kid in LDS. How can TBM parents not see the crap they put their kids through?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2012 12:30PM by zeezrom.

My convert band teacher in high school told the story of being seriously upset in the MTC as the only person in his group who had read the entire Book of Mormon--all the BIC elders there had never cracked the thing (or at least to a significant degree). I also held out until later in a highly Mormon town. It was pretty rough, but I had great and supportive parents (who still exerted pressure, but not to the point of where I wanted to be done with life).

This is a tragedy. Sorry to hear about it.

Young LDS missionaries are being sent out to wage a spiritual religious war against Satan and his churches but with no weapons and no defence. Their keystone weapon, the book of mormon is like a toy water gun against everyone elses nuke weapons.

Once people are in an educated position to ask a few solid questions the only defence missionaries have is a testimony?

I felt embarrassed for those young men when the only responses I got to tough (though very simple) questions was a resort to testimony.

I was good to missionaries (they are good kids) and managed to reveal the hat and stone to two of them and they pi*sed their pants laughing, they were so bewildered. What an evening that was. And it was a relief to see that testimony wasn't resorted to, but they themselves thought What the HECK is the hat and rock thing!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2012 02:41PM by zeezrom.

Oh my. So sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry for your family's loss. What a tragedy.

I'm really angry that I gave up some important things to go on a mission, and didn't even get any respect for it!! To them, it just meant they could make more and more demands on me.

To hell with them!!

Sorry to hear about this.

Obviously there is pressure to go on a mission, I had a lot of it myself. However, it's not to the point where an otherwise well adjusted kid would feel the need to kill themselves. There must have been something else going on.

You have my condolences.

I'm am so relieved that we left the church before my sons were mission age.

damn mormons!! Poor guy, so young, so much pressure... A mission would drive me to the edge as well. So sad. There is a serious problem and it's religion.

Oh no I am so sorry to hear about this. :-(

So sad to hear this. The pressure must have been awful and this person felt he had no choice. I am really always grief-stricken when I hear these things.

My sincere sympathy and love.

This is a tragedy. My condolences.

It's difficult to imagine that a mission, alone, would drive a boy, with a long future and the world open to him, to suicide. Unfortunately, it's not difficult to imagine that a mission could drive a gay boy who was already depressed to the point of not wanting to go on. Will we ever find out what happened?

I wonder if there are circumstances not having anything to do with being gay that would cause a 19-year-old Mormon boy to commit suicide. I tend to think that such a momentous decision wouldn't occur on a whim, but after a long period of suffering and careful consideration. If true, what could account for a long period of suffering apart from child abuse, possibly, or being gay and Mormon?

A 19-year-old boy killed himself. This isn't just a loss to the boy's family, but to all of us, because ultimately, all of us--all of us--are family. We're all members of the Homo sapiens sapiens species.

It's a time like this that makes me hope, particularly fervently, that there is an afterlife, and that that boy is safe from harm now, happy, and well.

Steve

It is sad to hear of another young man in Utah killing himself. Unfortunately, it is all too commmon.

A BYU article highlighting a study done by its researchers shows that church activity is protective for young Utah males in regard to suicide. The study, “Suicide Rates and Religious Commitment in Young Adult Males in Utah” Table 2, American Journal of Epidemiology Vol. 155, No. 5 : 413-419, indeed shows that young Mormon who are active in the Mormon Church have a much lower suicide rate than the U.S. average—after age 19. In the 15-19 range the suicide rate of Utah males is nearly identical to the U.S. average.

Furthermore, the study also shows *higher* than U.S. average suicide rates for Utah less-active and non-Mormon males in the same age ranges. (This, of course, was *not* highlighted in the BYU article.) To see if the higher suicide rates are a regional phenomenon or something peculiar to Utah, I used the Center for Disease Control WISQARS data to compare the study data with the suicide rates of males in the same age range in the surrounding Mountain States.

What I found was not only do non-Mormons and the less-actives in Utah kill themselves at greater rates than active Utah males in the same age ranges, but they kill themselves at significantly higher rates when compared to males in the surrounding Mountains States. These statistics bring up the question of why activity in the LDS Church is only protective *after* age 19 and why less-active Mormons and non-Mormons in Utah have a significantly higher suicide rate than either the U.S. average or the average in the surrounding Mountain States.


Males 15-19 (suicides per 100,000)
US Average: 17.44
Mountain States Average: 33.09
Utah LDS Active: 17.40
Utah LDS Less Active: 57.11
Utah Nonmember: 59.69

Males 20-24 (suicides per 100, 000)
US Average: 27.69
Utah LDS Active: 11.19
Utah LDS Less Active: 58.16
Utah Nonmember: 70.12

Males 25-29 (suicides per 100, 000)
US Average: 25.70
Mountain States Average: 39.60
Utah LDS Active: 8.58
Utah LDS less active: 65.55
Utah Nonmember: 39.14

Males 30-34 (suicides per 100, 000)
US Average: 25.54
Mountain States: 38.50
Utah LDS Active: 10.85
Utah LDS Less Active: 60.56
Utah Nonmember: 42.63



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/17/2012 10:02PM by robertb.

I had a friend who had been home from his mission for a week who committed suicide. Now that I know the truth about TSCC I can't help but wonder what role Mormonism played in the ending of his life.