I went to visit a friend in oregon shortly after reciving my quad. On the way there no problem...went to church with her and met her elders. The story gets Funny when I go to return home. I get to the security at the portland air port and put my bag to go thru the xray machine. Next thing I know two security people are looking at my bag on the screen. One of the fine gentlemen looked at me and asked "mam do you have a five pound block of cheese in your bag?" It took my brain a second to process what he was talking about but the first thing that came out of my mouth was "do people regularly carry five pound blocks of cheese in their bags....oh no wait that is my mormon quad." Needless to say guess who got a bag search. Any other funny BOM or Quad stories?

Non- mo here, what's a quad?

A quad is a set of Mo scriptures: Bible, BOM, D&C, PoGP - all bound into one volume.

No sir. I do however have a block of shit in my bag. Would you like to have it?

I don't have a mormonism airport security story.

But my boyfriend is from Wisconsin. We were flying home once after visiting his family, and security asked to search my bag. And of course, they were concerned about the block of cheese his Mom had given me. So I had to give him crap about Wisconsinites being concerned when one of their major resources is smuggled out of state.

I like to give him a hard time and tell him that Wisconsin is on the cheddar standard. Every once in a while when he's thinking of buying something I ask him how many wheels of cheese it would cost in his culture.

But I do like the symbolism of the original post - a mormon quad has the same intellectual punch as a 5 pound block of cheese.

You should've said - don't worry is just a BOM.

First--I bought my daughter a large snowglobe at Disneyland once and had it in my carry on--that freaked them out.

THEN I usually have a lot of change and my change purse was bulging at the seams. I had fingernail clippers and tweezers in my purse, but they zeroed in on that bag of change. I couldn't believe how they acted either--wouldn't let me touch my purse, wouldn't let me help them find the change purse.

They'll probably think you're a drug mule carrying 5 lbs of cocaine.

So here's an airport security story...

At a trade show in Boston. Two of us stay to take down the booth and catch the last flight out.

We don't have enough time. In frantically taking the booth down I misplace two things - 1) my wallet 2) the knife I use to cut the packing tape.

We get everything on the pallets and have a 45 minute drive to the airport for a flight leaving in one hour.

We get a taxi and the driver breaks all kinds of laws to get us through the traffic on time - he drives down the shoulder - takes every on and off ramp, etc.

We get to the airport and get to security with 20 minutes until the plane leaves.

I have no ID. A security manager comes over and asks a bunch of questions and has me fill out a form will all kinds of personal info. The security manager goes off to verify stuff presumably in some database.

I'm standing there 2 feet from the security guard and stick my hand in my jacket pocket. I feel something hard and pull out the 4 inch hunting style pocket knife.

Possibly the biggest aw s#@t moment in my entire life. Here I am standing at the security in the airport brandishing a knife with no ID.

I pale. The security guard looks at me. I throw the knife in the garbage. We both shrug. The manager comes backs and tells me I am cleared. I catch the flight - my buddy had told them I was on my way getting past security; they close the airplane door behind me.

oh man I am laughing at some of the other funny security stores. Yeah they had nothing to say about the smoked salmon in my cary one just the BOM.

http://www.shunn.net/terror/

It's long but it's worth it

Years ago I had a BF living in Hawai'i, and we used to do a lot of gift exchanging when I would go to visit. I once took him the biggest, heaviest, warmest set of long underwear I could find [as a typical Canadian gift] ... in return, when it was time for me to come home, I received a pair of brief briefs, black satiny material heavily embroidered with metallic gold thread. BF insisted I wear them home.

At security in the Honolulu airport, I set the metal detector off. Big time! A 6'6", 300-pound Hawai'ian security guard then took me to a little cubicle where he got me to undress down to my briefs. I thought he was going to collapse from laughing when he saw my 'Tiger' undies. Should have worn my G's, I guess ... but I was shy about having them around my gay BF!

My son has a shirt from the video game Left 4 Dead. It's a black T with a skull on the front and the words, "You are dead." The back of the shirt reads, "You will be rescued soon." Unfortunately DS was wearing an open button-front shirt over the T so only the front was visible. LAX security guy's eyes went from DS's dark skin and scruffy facial hair down to that shirt, his eyes got wide, and he immediately pulled DS aside for extra wanding. We had to laugh because the only other person who got singled out was some really druggie looking dude.

Of course, this was also the same shirt that DS was wearing when we unexpectedly stopped to visit my grandfather's grave a few days before. DS was completely horrified about that, LOL. I don't think he's worn that shirt since.