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Posted by: spencerljensen ( )
Date: February 17, 2012 09:49AM
If you could win one [satirical] prize from The One True Church...(see idea list)

For you satire lovers out there, I am creating a Mormon Sweepstakes Giveaway I will announce on http://www.truebelievingmormons.com and need some ideas for the best reward to offer the winner, who will be chosen at random from those who participate.

Which of the following Prizes is the most delicious to your taste?

-The Actual Gold Plates! (runner-up receives Kinderhook Plates)

-Petrified tapir droppings

-Be in a cartoon video with Spencer

-3 extra wives, with 50% more obedience

-Get the Priesthood (if you're a woman)

-Receive your second anointing and get your calling & election made damn sure (and learn the 3rd token of the Milkhesadick Penishood, or really, really, sure sign you've been nailed)

-Receive the complete Works of Paul H Dunn

-Have any tough doctrinal question answered by Thomas Ass Monson in cartoon form

-Have the message of your choice put on a sign and shouted in from of the Church Office Building or Temple Square or Shitty Creep Mall

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Posted by: abacab08 ( )
Date: February 17, 2012 10:38AM
Re: If you could win one [satirical] prize from The One True Church...(see idea list)

You forgot one. Full financial discloser in USA. Thats what I will take....

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Posted by: spencerljensen ( )
Date: February 17, 2012 11:27AM
LOL!

I would love to see a mock income statement or balance sheet showing how all the money is used. There's an idea!

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Posted by: abacab08 ( )
Date: February 17, 2012 11:37AM
Re: LOL!

Probably would make the Church vanish. One can only hope

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Posted by: ronas ( )
Date: February 17, 2012 11:29AM
Re: If you could win one [satirical] prize from The One True Church...(see idea list)

How about the Brigham Young award? The right to steal anyone else's spouse as long as you are higher up in social status.

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