Date: February 21, 2012 02:18AM
What does oppositional mean to you?
does not being oppositional that mean you have to agree with everyone around you? do you have permission to use logic or analyze things? or is this "I go along"? is this a board where you must "go along"? Is that the purpose of this board? or is this a place where when someone asks for help, to point out facts and variables in a situation which may impact them & their success? (which they clearly have not indicated a knowledge of in their posting, and when they are clearly asking for advice or support in planning a response in life)
Opposition, as a female, really triggers an emotional response in me. See when I was growing up being in submission to men generally, priesthood holders at work, men in the family certainly was held in highest esteem- even when they were terribly stupid or idiots in their decisions (obviously to everyone. Plus another thing- never criticize a man. Even when, as my brother once did, he pulled down half a row of vines and a gas pump with a tractor- it might make him feel bad. After all, he's a man & you're not. He can critsize you all the time- he's a boy, and you just take it, be polite, don't fight back- support him publically privaltely etc. Patriarchy. male inheritance. don't you just you love it?)
So you aren't suggesting one needs to submit or subject themselves to submitting, or carefully kissing up to a male poster if they are female, of course, or to a poster with an important name or role in the ex mo community publically- just because of who they are- (regardless of what they say?)
I do not think male exmos or exmos with public stature would want to never have an intellectual interchange, where everyone around them simply submits to them. I really don't , I don't think that's what they're here for.
What is compassion? when one poster posted, I also had compassion for their exmo husband. I noticed that poster condescended to him, and denigrated his logic and his mind, by using the phrase "what questions" (do you have that could be resolved about the church) as if someone would change their life radically for a question (rather than a fact)... and I attempted to defend their now exmo spouse's mind, their logic, and their rational choices- based on facts (not questions which insults the exmo husband's intelligence frankly.) I also used developed the thought deliberately adding references to logic and research (ie persuasive argument, statements based on evidence- facts/ data found in sources cited) which is NOT a thought style or life style among many, so I really spelled it out. I did this to support the exmo spouse of the author in the post because the author assumed there were simply "questions" that "could be resolved." the sooner the spouse is able to treat the exmo's fact based life changes as a logical choice made based on evidence, the more validity and credibility, respect, they may lend to him. Supporting the exmo spouse getting respect- not supporting continued disrespect, and disregard as evidenced in the original statement /phrasing I quoted- is the most compassionate thing I could do to support the exmo spouse & the couple over all.
because being treated in a relationship like your ideas do not matter, when you are intelligent & well researched- is disrespectful and heinous towards a logical idealist. Reworking or re wording the exmo into the non idealist is one of the greatest miscarraige of justice I know in the mormon propoganda or word re-spin word meaning recalibration game placing social blame. I was fighting that in the post, one marraige or one person to support at a time, when I had the time (which I have far less frequently now.)
Best to you