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Posted by: Heidi GWOTR ( )
Date: February 21, 2012 10:43AM

Mitt Romney’s New Ward

If Mitt Romney should become President of the US, his family will be assigned to the Washington DC 3rd Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

• Could you allow an inaugural ball to be held in the cultural hall? Do you mount security cameras on top of each basketball rim and have a secret service detail stationed on the stage?
• Can you call Mitt and Ann as the Nursery leaders… even if you really feel inspired?
• Who is going to home teach them?
• If Harry Reid and Mitt Romney are in the same High Priest group, will they behave responsibly, or do you need to be there to keep order?
• Exactly how will tithing settlement work? Will the Secret Service come, too? Or would the IRS Director be a better choice?
• Will you be inviting the new Romney family to speak in Sacrament Meeting… and if they go a little over, at what point do you ask them to sit down?
• Will the Secret Service do a sweep of the building before each meeting?
• Can you call the Secret Service agents to help out in Primary?
• If you give Mitt a calling and the pair of token Democrats in the ward raise their hand AGAINST sustaining him - then what?!!
• If you can’t give them a calling, and they don’t attend very often, will that mean they’re ‘inactive?’ If they’re not active, can you give them a Temple Recommend? And if you do, can they go? How will the Secret Service screen the temple?
And if you’re assigned to be the Romneys’ Home or Visiting Teacher:
• Can you just drop by when you are in the neighborhood, without an appointment?
• Can you even call them for an appointment, or do you have to go through the Chief of Staff?
• Can you bring by Christmas sweets and cookies? Will they be screened by the Secret Service first? If so, is this a missionary opportunity to share the gospel?
• If you don’t come teach the Romneys regularly, can the IRS do an audit on you?
• Will they want to do a national security background check?
• Do you have to have a permanent teaching companion assigned who has been vetted? Can you just grab any teacher or priest to come with you? What if they are Democrats?
• Will ward members help him move in and out of the White House?
• If Ann Romney gets sick, are you allowed to bring in meals or at least tell the Relief Society President about it?
• What can you share with the Bishop about the Romneys?
• Do you have to ask them about their year’s supply?
• If you get a late night call for a blessing, will reporters follow you around wanting to know what was wrong and what you said? And if the reporters offer remuneration in exchange for your time, does it all have to be donated or just the standard 10-percent tithe?



And, of course I have to add that if we ever get a Wiccan president one of the questions will be, "Do the Secret Service Detail have to by Skyclad too????"

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Posted by: Not logged in ( )
Date: February 21, 2012 06:31PM

But I'm willing to bet nobody will attempt to pull off the anonymous-plate-of-cookies-on-the-doorstep ring-and-run at the White House.

PS Good to see you back!

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Posted by: Anonymous User ( )
Date: February 21, 2012 07:32PM

Do you and Ann engage in oral sex?

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Posted by: honestone ( )
Date: February 22, 2012 05:46AM

Seems to me he would be surrounded in the White HOuse by Mormons and they would keep anyone away. The staff, the Secret Service, and all others would be at his command and that would mean he'd select Mormons. They would keep all the secret stuff from coming out to the public.Do you really think he'd have home teachers? OMG!!!

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Posted by: snowball ( )
Date: February 22, 2012 12:02PM

This may be another fun one: What if Mitt were called to serve?

"President Romney this is President Monson, I have a special calling for you as President of the Paris France mission, it is expected that you will serve a period of three years. Pack your bags son."

Just got to show who's in charge here.

"A religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things..."

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Posted by: Ctus ( )
Date: February 22, 2012 12:14PM

• Will ward members help him move in and out of the White House?

The picture this put in my head will bring me joy for a very long time!!

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