.....please send her home to her husband! He is a good man and is much loved by his inlaws (myself included). You will always be looked at as the homewrecker and hated. The woman you are with has had bouts of depression throughout her life. Please understand what this is really about. You told her you would investigate the church, so I hope you read this.
Backround: They met in highschool mid 80's He joined the church for her. They have one son in highschool.
I would but i'm at work, also not sure where to find him. Also as a side note, people might be thinking "mormon couple with one child thats the problem" Shes been pregnant many time....multiple miscarrages.
It is all about the spouse that is cheating first!!! That is the person who made the promise and chose to remain faithful.And yet they do this behind the back of a dedicated spouse (if both do it, I could care less about either). Now on to the other person. If they know the individual is married, they are sluts or giggolos (sp)....whatever. The "other person" is scum like the spouse who cheats secretly. I take it the family knows what this woman is doing. So what is up with that?
Hm. I've been here. Familiar territory. An affair is destructive to nearly every extended familial relationship you can think of, especially if TBM. I do not condone it, and if I had it to do over, I would have just left my husband and made a clean break. However, one looking in from the outside sees a good husband and family, and on the inside, something is terribly, terribly broken. Only the couple knows what it is, and they are the only ones who can fix it. And it isn't just the one who is cheating who is broken. Trust me. It is a two sided problem, and unless the two of them are willing to own it equally, it will be a disaster anyway.
Remember, an affair is not usually what is inHerently wrong with a marriage, its the blatant symptom of what has BEEN wrong.
Btdt......lived to tell about it, and it wasn't pretty. :(
If a person is investigating the church they automatically come here?
Or do you know this person is on here?
And I agree with others, I have 8 sisters and if they are cheating, it is not because the guy they are banging is holding them hostage, they want to do it. And they want to do it because something is wrong in their marriage.
If something is wrong then it should be fixed. Having an affair would most likely overshadow the original problem. The non cheating spouse would be better off divorced. Pity the children.
I think Facebook would be far more effective...and funnier. But in reality- I understand your good intentions however the bottom line is that this isn't your marriage and getting involved could really backfire for you. If I were you I would respect their relationship and stay out of it. If her husband knows let them deal with it, if he doesn't know then by all means Man Up and tell him so he can deal with it. Otherwise just keep to yourself.
...tell BIL to change the locks, consider himself lucky, call an attorney and have a party. Bouts of depression? Affair? Change the locks. Let the cheater listen to her problems.
Unworthy, What do mean? Do you think l'm making this up? To all thanks for the replies l'll try to resond when i get home from work (as long as the wife isn't aroud)
Is she a child who has no ability to determine her life? Did it occur to you that she left for her marriage for a reason? Just because you love your BIL does not make him a good husband. Sounds like he is good at playing the victim and portraying his wife as a victim.
Why does she have to say about all this? She made the decision to leave I guess she will decide if she wants to go back.
If you want to offer support to your sister then do it, but don't play games sending silly messages to her boyfriend.
And who cares if he investigates the church? He would be better of not doing that and getting your sister out of the hands of the crutch.
Ok first, this probably is a long shot (for the guy to read this) I googled "mormon church" and this web site was no where to be found. Secondly, normally I would never care or get involved in anybody's relationship, except my BIL is totally and completely devastated. Thirdly, my SIl (cheater) told my other SIL, that the reason she is so unhappy is because everyone thinks her husband is so wonderful and she hates living in his shadow. "everyone says" "x is so creative", "x is so handy" "x is so nice" etc.
More, your time would most likely be more productively spent encouraging your brother to figure out why he's interested in maintaining a relationship with a woman who blames him for her cheating. Encourage your brother to find a good (nonMormon) counselor -- for his own sake.
exmo59, Yeah, you would think that what it would be about, (wanting to have sex with someone else) they got married young. Probably the only one she ever had sex with. Midlife now wondering what she has missed. Her husband wants to forgive her, but she says she's in love with this jerk. Josephsmyth, ya of course its her choice, but most of us have had flings (when I was single) and know they are just that. Its kind of hard listening to my wife talk to my BIL with them both crying. Anyone out there got bored with there spouse and left, but now regret it?
Other guy: I think you should go back to your great husband and stop worrying about his shadow because you will be under his wing. SIL: OK
Real world
Other guy: Are you sure this is what you want? SIL: I would not be here if I did not
just a thought
Plus I don't think other sil's understanding of sil reasoning for leaving has stated the whole truth and nothing but the truth, you don't leave a guy because he is so great.
But may leave him because she is the only person that sees him for what he really is!
I never said that the affair us something that needs to be owned equally. I'm talking events and problems leading up to it. There is so much we don't know about other peoples marriages, even if we are close and even if we have known them for years. What is between them is just that, between them.