...And it was worse than I remembered.

I had gone to my hometown to visit my mom, and brother-in-law was singing in church that weekend. (This is the perfect return missionary who married my 19 year old perfect molly-mormon sister last year). They begged me to come to church with them to hear him sing, and I gave in. He's got a beautiful voice, and it was a pleasure to listen to him - but the rest of sacrament meeting was practically unbearable.

It was like listening to a broken record. All the memories came flooding back. The first counsellor droning on in his monotone voice, the start of meeting announcements, the songs that I haven't sung in 10 years yet still know the words too, the mind-numbingly boring talks about the priesthood giving by a simpering housewife and an egotistical jerk, and the sacrament prayers. The whole meeting, exactly the same format as it's been my whole life. It was slightly interesting hearing all this stuff for the first time since I left the church, from an "outsider's" perspective...but it took a lot of willpower to keep my derisive snorts in my head.

I did find it entertaining when my sister's in-laws gaped at me when I passed on the sacrament trays without partaking, and then proceed to whisper dramatically to each other.

At one point when the simpering housewife's talk had gone 15 minutes over, even my mom and sister had stopped paying attention, and were giggling to each other and digging around in my mom's purse for junk to play with. I, however, pulled the latest Nora Roberts book out of my purse, and my mom looked at me - shocked and aghast - and hissed, "You can't DO that! It's NOT allowed!" To which I replied, "How is this any worse than what you two are doing? At least I'm being quiet."

Needless to say, I was relieved when the meeting was over, and actually laughed out loud when my sister asked if I was staying for Relief Society.

You brought the memories flooding back, Jgalla.

Is there any religion who has more boring, joyless meetings than Mormons? NO! The three hour block is a monstrosity, a monument to what happens when ninety year olds, literally weeks from death or fighting off dementia in some cases, are in charge of designing worship services.

Sacrament meetings are too long. Trying to sit them through, even as a believing member, is all too often like trying to finish your boiled vegetables: you're doing it because you're convinced they're good for you, but the experience is an ordeal.

In sacrament meetings, it is rare to hear well-prepared, well-delivered sermons, let alone anything unique. High Council talks almost without exception suck, and are way too long. There is no room for spontaneous member expression, except in fast and testimony meeting - but there, the "spontaneous expression" consists of everyone basically reciting the same sorts of phrases, which, far short of edifying, appear to have the effect of simply keeping everyone in a kind of altered state of consciousness.

That is, the "spontaneous expression" is the "spontaneous expression" of evidently brainwashed people incapable of thinking of anything to say other than the same thought-inhibiting phrases which have kept them in a state of stupefaction since toddlerhood.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/24/2012 01:50AM by anagrammy.

Nora Roberts!!!!!

How shocking!!! Your MIL knows what she writes? I bet it would be on the banned list for the RS, she writes well enough to steam your reading glasses up!

I vaguely remember using my scripture cover for books I liked to read in church.
The covers gave the appearance of "good".

After all, aren't we supposed to "avoid the appearance of evil"?

I bet there were women there who wished they could read their books in church! I read and nursed at church a lot, and not all of them were church books! ;)!

Nephew home from mish.

But as I read your post I had a grin on my face.

They have not changed the product.

They have a new slick & expensive ad campaign to lure in new sheep, but they have not changed the product a single bit. Not one jot, tittle or iota has been improved upon.

That's such a waste of Mites.

For men there was priesthood meeting from 9am - 10:20am, then for everybody there was Sunday School from 10:30am - 12 noon. Women had Relief Society on a weekday for 1.5 hours.

On Sunday everybody had Sacrament meeting from 5pm - 6:30 or even until 7:00 p.m. That was terminal boredom.

So for me at age 12 years, that was two trips to the Wardhouse for almost 5 [expletive] hours of gawd-awful meetings.

One time, in all seriousness, I asked my TBM mother this:

"Okay, so we KNOW that the Church is true. But would it be any less true if we just went to Sacrament meeting once a month?"

Poor Mom, she stood there kind of dumbfounded and had no answer.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/24/2012 10:09AM by saviorself.

Stay away for a month, maybe even go to a different church. Then come back and see how awful LDS services are. It's sure to change some perceptions of the One True Church®.

with my new TBM daughter (she had just gone back to the lds church) a few years back. Talk about an eye-opener. I hadn't been to GC since I was 18 (at the tabernacle) and I returned as an exmo over age 50 at the conference center. It sure is different as an outsider.

This last Sunday I went to the church across the street from my ward building. Mostly a black congregation, I had heard the choir was outstanding. I was not disappointed, oh my gosh. And the preacher, it was a bible-based message, short, sweet and a little humor throw in. I was warmly received, but there was absolutely no pressure to identify myself, only parting wishes "to please visit us again." I then drove across the street, but found the family history class locked up tight (ward conference). I smiled and went home...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/24/2012 12:35PM by george.

Similar story to mine. It was torture for me. What a Son will do for his Mom on Mothers Day!