I'm interested in others experiences telling family. I recently sent my letter off to SCL & although I haven't gotten a final confirmation back I did receive the "it's an ecclesiastical matter' letter where they said I had to wait for the Bishop & SP to do something. It really irritates me since I was very clear that I understood what I was doing, but that's another issue. Anyway, I was wondering how others handled telling their families about their choice. Part of me thinks its not of their business. I know my parents would/will never understand. Can't decide how my brothers will take it & friends I've had for a long time...old missionary companions and such. I have a feeling it isn't going to go over very well but maybe I'm wrong. What does everyone think? Thanks! ~Curious

Most American adults do not discuss their religous beliefs.
What you do or don't do is your own business.

The only groups who are that intrusive would be cults and certain fundamentalist movements.
From such stay away.

Don't tell family and friends anything. If you have TBM family and all they want to talk about is their cult/church, then simply break off all contact. There is no reason to have to listen to their religious horsepucky.

If somebody asks you a direct question about your current religious beliefs or non-beliefs, answer by telling them to go read the 11th Article of Faith. That is the only statement that you need to make.

The only family member that I would have worried about telling, is my sister.

The way it all came down made it easy.
She knew that my sp and bishop were giving me a hard time about DH and I getting sealed. She got to hear play by play, as I called her and told her every stupid thing they were saying. She was disgusted with them as I was. She kept saying she had no idea how I kept going.
one sunday, after telling the sp to go to hell, I came home, and googled how to stay in church. Up pops John Dehlin. I spent the rest of my day listening to podcasts.
I called my sister and told her all about it. I was stunned at how much I had been lied to by the church. I was furious that the church was so condescending about it. I shared all of those feelings with her. I went down the list of lies. She agreed with me all the way.
The next day she told me I was lucky I could leave. She very sadly told me that she couldn't. She has weddings she needs to go to in the future. She told me her husband questions it even more than her. They know the deal. They would like to leave. They have one last child to marry off. The church is using their family to hold them hostage. It will be interesting to see if they stay once their youngest child is married.
These days my sister and I don't talk about religion much. She tells me about the crazy people in her ward. Thats about it.
My husband and kids listened to john dehlin right along with me.
I asked for a show of hands. Who thinks we should leave? All hands up. We're outta there. Never been back.

I'm kind of in the same boat. I got my confirmation letter just a few months ago, and I thought long and hard about whether to tell my family.

My family is split half and half. My dad left the church after my parents divorced 20 years ago, and both my brothers have also left the church - although not formally. They just moved away from where the church had their records and didn't tell anyone that they moved. They live in an area that has a very small mormon population, so it's not much of an issue for them. My mom and my sister - who live in a small mormon town - are still 100% TBM.

I've decided that if it comes up, I'll let the exmo side of my family know that I've formally left the church. They know I haven't been to church in more than a decade, so it won't come as a huge shock to them.

My mom and I have reached somewhat of an understanding. She made a huge sacrifice (in her mind) and told me that she just wants me to have some spiritual connection, and that if I need to find that in another religion, I should do that. It was extremely difficult for me, but I finally explained to her after all these years that I don't believe any of it. Not just mormonism, but any religion - I stopped short of telling her I'm an athiest, but I think she got the point. I think that at this point, telling her I've formally left the church would just hurt her. I think secretly she's holding onto the hope that eventually I'll come back to the fold. It'll never happen, but as long as she doesn't push it, I see no reason to add insult to injury by telling her I'm no longer a member.

You just have to feel out the situation - everyone's is different.

Once I told my TBM sister she wrote a nasty letter the other siblings and some extended family and in essence warned them shun me for apostacy.

It didn't matter much to me at that point. I want extremist mormons to stay out of my business.