since there is so much wedding/divorce talk goin' on, it's got me thinking about my wedding day. I disliked my wedding day from start to finish. it started the previous day of course with the whole endowment bs. i was so so worried about going through the temple i could hardly think about getting married. i literally broke out in hives a couple days before...i have never in my life had that happen before or since. i didn't like my hand-me-down & "modestly" altered dress.. my mother-chosen plastic flowers.. cheap looking reception that was set up in an old ugly church gym, complete with 80's style backdrop/family-friend-made disaster of a cake/ family-friend-provided musical entertainment/ hired family-friend photographer, or should i say friend with a camera... etc.. etc.. etc.. heck i didn't even really like the idea of being married to my husband.. but, i knew i had one thing that would be good... i was FINALLY gonna get to have sex!! and guess what.. <SURPRISE> it was terrible!!! i felt disgusted and used.

what was your wedding day like???

My wedding day was amazing and I don't recall feeling like it could have gotten any better. I was so in love and excited to start my eternal family after getting married in the temple. I recall being ecstatically happy the whole day. The wedding night was fantastic and the sex was amazing (I think even for my virgin wife who woke me in the night to make love again).

Of course these memories are twelve years old now, and I am no longer a member while my wife is a rabid TBM. This memory is bitter-sweet because we decided this last week that we should divorce due to complications related to my "losing my faith".

Damn cult

Haven't had one. But hey, at least there's one less thing for me to be bitter about, right? ;>)

Never been married, never went to the temple, but from what has been described, and what pictures I have seen, I'm glad I got out before I do get married. I want my future wife to feel like a princess on her wedding day, and wear the wedding dress she wants.

(she was only 17 months older), I saw that distant look in her eyes after spending the day at the SL temple doing the whole thing in one day and I decided I would never do it all in one day. I did the endowment 8 days before I married so had time to decompress (and didn't go to the SL temple, but Logan). It was not as bad as I had expected. I had a few people tell me they almost left the church over the temple experience so I think that prepared me for the shock. Yes, it was bizarre and I never liked it.

My wedding day was crazy, but I chose to do it my own way here in Utah and I didn't do it the usual mormon way. The temple was okay other than I had to kneel there so long that the nerves in my legs couldn't handle it and my legs started to shake horribly. Someone said it looked like I had an animal under my dress. I did get to wear my dress even though the matrons debated the issue until my mom showed up (ZCMI had altered it to fit temple standards, but the matrons thought they knew better). I was rather over the top thrilled as most people told me that I could not marry my husband and I was scared sh*tless to do so. I had an afternoon 'reception'--very few decorations as I had it outdoors. I had no line. I had a light lunch for refreshments. We were off on our honeymoon early and the sex was WONDERFUL. And I married someone gay. . .

I only returned to the temple 5 or 6 times under duress by my husband. He has never forgiven me for sending him off alone on bishopric nights--when I was "worthy" to go and he was "not."


**I must add--after reading the heading again--my ex was not naive . . . about any sex.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 02/29/2012 10:34AM by cl2.

Married in the Logan Temple in 1989. We had both did endowments the week or 2 prior. Looking back it would have REALLY freaked us out to have them done earlier in the day. Stake Center Reception/Dinner/ Photos. All in all was a pretty good day. Drove to Payson that night, but not before consummating our union at Willard Bay in a 1980 Honda Civic named Dennis....

Honda Civic named Dennis--

I'm from Brigham (growing up), live in Cache Valley now--so you just created quite the picture for me.

cl2, Here's where it get's REALLY weird. I'm convinced by prior posts you know my wife's TBM family, if not my wife...

I could have written your post, just without the hives. I married someone I was not sure I wanted to marry, but I didn't want to break up with him either. We knew that we had come fairly close to doing the "sin next to murder" a few times and that unless we totally broke it off we would end up "giving into temptation and losing our eternal salvation." So we got married so that when we did inevitably have sex it would all be legal in mormon god's eyes.

I felt sick, sick, sick all night before my wedding day. I didn't feel good about going ahead with it at all, but chalked it all up to pre-wedding jitters. I even remember my wonderful dad, who is gone now, taking me aside right before we left for the temple and telling me that I didn't have to do this if I'd changed my mind....that he didn't care about any nonrefundable wedding deposits we had made or bills that he would have to pay in full even if we didn't use the services. (Wish I would have taken him up on the escape option, but I didn't.) I had chosen what I thought was a very conservative and modest gown and, yes, it was ugly....not what I would have chosen if I had been in normal underwear and not garments. The temple matrons still insisted that it was not modest enough and pinned what looked kind of like a white dish towel around my neck so it fell like a short cape over my shoulders and bustline. I was very disappointed that I had to wear that after choosing the gown with so many restrictions in the first place, but it didn't really matter because I already looked ridiculous with all the temple garb on over the dress anyway.

The wedding night was a nightmare. I had been told by my doctor that I was very small and she had given me some home procedures to do before consumating the relationship that were supposed to help make it less painful, but apparently they had not been super effective. My new husband was not in any mood to take things slow, either. When I asked him to slow down and try to get there more gradually to see if that would help me, he got angry. I really think, looking back, that he saw as-much-sex-anytime-and-any-way-on-demand as his payment for going on the mission he had not wanted to go on but had served anyway. It was awful and it never got any better as time went on (not with him, anyway....later I discovered with non-neandrathol partners that it isn't always awful). I can completely relate to your description of feeling used.

The whole endowment thing a week or so earlier already had me completely questioning what kind of crazy church I had gotten myself stuck in. The whole emphasis on sex-for-men and women-put-out-and-shut-up in mormon history and doctrine got the ball rolling even more toward my eventual exit. So at least all that wasn't for nothing - I ended up getting *out*!! Leaving, not "enduring to the end" was my "one true path to happiness," not the other way around!