My name's Ashlie and I'm a 24 year old medic from Los Angeles, CA, and am a recovering ex-mormon. I was baptized 8/30/09 and had doubts from the beginning. When I was baptized I was living with 2 very molly mormon girls who were constantly lovebombing me and pressuring me to take the missionary discussions. I finally did, and believed a lot of it didnt add up, but for some reason I had a moment of temporary insanity and agreed to be baptized. I also did this in part to help keep my room in the apartment I was renting for fear if I didnt I would be asked to move out. Over the time I lived with these girls, they became very vengeful because I was not a perfect mormon girl and wouldnt give up my soda or coffee or whatever.I worked on sundays regularly (I'm a paramedic and its required of my job) and that made me a bad person. The singles ward I was baptized into was very clique-ish and I was always deemed to be an outsider even though I lived with 2 members of the relief society presidency. I also refused to tithe because I simply didnt have the money. They were constantly having the missionaries stop by to "visit" me. After a while I became very resentful and tensions were too high for me so I moved out about 8 months ago. I found this board while I was living with the mormons and have always been a lurker, and eventually came to the conclusion that the church is not true. I struggle with this day to day from the conditioning and brainwashing that I went through while I was living with those girls. I know the church is not true but I miss the companionship although it was fake. This board seems like a very open and friendly place, and I'd love to make some new friends here, since all my "friends" have disappeared since I'm inactive in their eyes. I've debated having my name removed from the church and cant really come up with a reason not to, but I just keep getting inside my own head. My family is 100% never-mo's and totally support me in my decisions whatever I do...
Thanks for letting me rant, and I hope to meet you all soon :)
I know what you mean about missing the companionship, even if the friends were fake. I served in my neighborhood ward here for over 15 years as organist and teacher, and paid tithing, and forced my poor kids to go to church. The cult made me and my children very unhappy. We moved here to Utah from another state, which made us outsiders. Also, I was a divorced single working mother. There is no place in Mormon society for a single woman.
I'm positive that you would have been more and more unhappy as a Mormon. Now, you have a chance at living in the real world, which offers women many more opportunities than ever before. Thank God you won't be required to date arrogant chauvinistic priesthood holders who believe they will be Gods someday with a harem of wives in the Mormon "Celestial Kingdom."
It took me a lifetime to discover that Mormonism is a fraud. You are both smart and lucky. I know that the reason I never remarried was that I just didn't get along with Mormon men--and I wasn't allowed to date any men outside the church. My entire family is still Mormon. You are also very lucky that your family is not brainwashed and in that controlling cult.