Posted by:
Nick Humphrey
(
)
Date: November 27, 2010 07:58AM
reposting this hopeful story from the exmormon yahoo group mailing list:
"
Posted by Eric at 2:50 PM. Placed in Local In Utah, Mormon category
I was just sent this amazing journal entry from PRIDEinUtah reader
Steve by a Mormon Mission President who was told by a missionary that
they were gay, and his response. Incredibly powerful, please read it
below.
Cross-posted with permission by rfmorg.word press.com
----
The phone rang late one night. My wife answered it and shook me
with some urgency, something about one of the elders really needs you.
Rising from the fog of sleep and forcing myself to pass into
consciousness I mumbled a groggy hello.
“President, it’s over. I can’t I just can’t …… I think you need to
send me home”, he nearly yelled into the phone. His despair quite
apparent.
“What’s wrong elder, what has happened”, I was suddenly very much awake.
“President, I’m GAY ok? I’m GAY! I thought Heavenly Father would
fix me if I was a good missionary. I’ve done everything I can, but
it’s just getting worse. Why am I like this? What did I do? It’s not
fair. I need to go home”.
“Elder, bring your companion and catch the early express train. It
get’s here about 9:00 AM. I’ll send your comp with one of my AP’s and
we’ll go have breakfast. Don’t worry elder, don’t panic, it will be
ok”, I said.
He started to cry and agreed to meet me. He was a great
missionary, one of my best., and a wonderful person. My heart ached, I
never fell back into sleep that night.
Over breakfast in a quiet European sidewalk café he told me he’d
known from a very early age that he had an attraction to the same sex.
He’d never acted on it, in fact had gone out of his way to date young
women, and yet there it was. Constantly gnawing at his desire, men
catching his attention. We talked into the afternoon. I helped him to
understand that this was not something he had chosen, Neither was it
punishment for some sin. It simply is the way it is. He did have a
choice though, His choice was whom or what would have his allegiance.
He could be true to himself, or he could be true to his religion. I
didn’t see how he could do both. Although Mormonism has made some
progress, it has not arrived at the point of embracing it’s sexually
active homosexual members. The two concepts are mutually exclusive. I
didn’t at the time know which choice was best. Both choices seemed to
have their pros and cons. He began to sob, his body convulsing.
I put my arms around him and held him until he regained his
composure. I told him I loved him. I felt his tears soak through the
fabric of my shirt and onto my shoulder, the tenseness of his body
ridged with pain. He cried and with each tear he seemed to release
years of pain, of hiding, of shame and self loathing. He’d endured a
lot to cover his secret. Why? It made me angry that he or anyone
should have to endure such meaningless anguish. It was then and there
at that very moment that I finally and forever understood bigotry and
it’s power to destroy.
What kinds of gods do people create, so often full of hatred,
anger and bigotry? Members of the LDS faith were once persecuted,
hated and driven from their homes, in part by other religious zealots
repulsed by unconventional “marriages.” Now, come full circle, the
once-bullied have joined themselves with the bullies in the voice of
bigotry as they battle their boogeymen.
American youths and innocent civilians continue to die in an
unjustifiable war. Greed leads to gas prices climbing into the
stratosphere. Millions of innocents die of still uncured viruses.
Religion- and ethnic-induced hatreds rage worldwide. Poverty runs amok
and the poor starve. Yet when the Mormon God speaks, he speaks out
against two people who love each other and want to express that love
in a committed formal way.
I imagine a day will come when the LDS Church will regret lending
its support to a failed president and a failed constitutional
amendment that did nothing more than divide a nation and rally bigoted
and frightened people to the ballot box. The attempt to amend the
constitution of the United States failed, Utah and it’s Mormon
theocracy would still march forward, reaching out to hate someone.
Mormon legislators in the Utah State Government continue even today in
the crusade against the rights and pursuit of happiness of those they
fear and misunderstand.
There is a parallel with the way the LDS Church today marginalizes
the gay community much as it once marginalized the black community. To
previous generations of Mormons, blacks were descendants of Cain and
less valiant in their pre-mortal days, a lower class. I wonder what
future prophet will become enlightened as to the fact that all are
equal in the eyes of a just creator? Who or whatever that may be.
"
it would be great to believe there are mos in leadership positions who actually think like this =)
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/27/2010 07:59AM by Nick Humphrey.