Okay, so I watched a former cooworker slave and save and send his daughter to college...a Mormon school,whatelse? anyway, it got me thinking Why are these girls so determined to go to school when the TSCC is telling them to get married, have babies, etc,. then in 20 years they will have NO job skills, and ZERO training. I have noticed all kinds of girls drop out when something, even a tree comes along with an RM label on it. Seems like I am hearing to different things here. Whats the point of sending someone away to college if they only want to change diapers(double yuck)! Just wondering? Seems like all they want to do is find a guy and then they drop out. BTW, that cooworkers kid has now squeezed out 5 babies and I hear she is miserable!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/11/2012 10:45PM by utahmonomore.

Mormon leaders encourage girls to go to college. This is in part so that they can feel more accomplished, and part because they might have to take up a part time or full time job as an adult.

Could it be possible that some of them want to learn?

+10

Their Mrs.?

In case their husband dies, or takes off, or ends up being impossible to live with.

That's it.

mormon girls usually do go to mormon schools. The alternative... stay at home where the potential spouse pickens' are limited with little opportunity of progressing into that great Daughter in Zion role? It's a coming of age kind of thing where mormon girls go to hang out with other mormons. The MRS degree is certainly applicable, but even if not married, a degree in a mormon-controlled environment is still a good thing.

So, from the church's perspective, it sounds like a good place for post high school mormon girls to go... regardless of the BS/BA/AS/AA... or MRS.

Now... sending a daughter to a nomo school... that would raise some eyebrows, and your question would be applicable.....

To meet the "right" kind of guy at BYU or BYUI or a similar school. Also, to have a little education to teach their children things or to be able to bring in a little money part-time if DH needs help. Or because their friends are going to college and they don't want to be left out. But we are talking about the specific type of Mormon girl you mentioned, of which there are far too many.

I got a degree in journalism because I wanted to work as a writer/editor which I figured I could do freelance while my kids were young. I also traveled a lot in college because I wanted to learn as much as possible since I figured I might get married and possibly have to support my husband at any given minute. I really wanted to learn and that's probably part of why I didn't stress too much about getting married at BYU. (Although I did have a panic attack when I graduated single.) Among the remnants of my LDS friends I have another journalist, a lawyer, two friends who graduated in some fitness major I can't ever remember the name of, a personal trainer with an MA in Sports Nutrition, a botanist who works at nature preserve, a woman who owns her own successful internet business, a pharmacist, a retired accountant and more school teachers than I can count from a kindergarten through college. Plenty of Mormon women do just fine for themselves.

Kill time til they get married and preggo.

That's exactly why my TBM 'rents wouldn't contribute to my tuition or room & board. They seemed to think it was a waste of money.

So I went to a state school and paid for it myself!

My nevermo mom's advice was: You will probably get married, but things happen, so make sure you can take care of yourself in case something happens. Husbands die, cheat, leave, get laid off, and so forth. Make sure you have something to fall back on.

Turned out to not be a fallback choice: I never did get married and the more I was able to accomplish on my own, the less I saw a need for a partner in life. I skipped right over the awful starter marriage and went straight for the mid-life crisis!

I think I love you, dogzilla. Want to go get some coffee?

Sure!

I live in Florida... ;>)

Schools like BYU assume an even more important role for TBM parents outside of the Morridor, where it is unlikely that their daughters would meet The RM Of Their Dreams in areas with LDS comprising <2% of the population.

You see this also with parents whose kids lack the credentials to win BYU admission. The "BYU substitute" for TBM families here in California is UVSU in Orem, where they pay out-of-state tuition, but where BYU and UVSC students often live in the same BYU-approved housing units. More expensive than sending a kid to the California State University or University of California systems, but neither of the CA public systems have a significant TBM/RM population, now do they?

There is a local TBM family here with ten children, six of them boys. All went to BYU and found their eternal companions....and all of the daughters-in-law were from low-LDS areas of the country, sent to BYU for the same reason, to meet an eternal companion. So what you had were six couples with the man from California and the woman from somewhere else outside the Morridor. The result has been that four of the couples live neither in Utah nor in California, but near where the women grew up: Kentucky, upstate New York, etc. None of the couples liked Utah, and only two of the daughters-in-law grew to like California. So what the parents ended up with was all of their kids in temple marriages, but most of them living far away---and not all within 30 minutes of each other in Utah. Sometimes you do see CA families with most of their kids settled in Utah, due to in-laws and/or job opportunities.

At BYU, many young girls go to find a husband. At least many 19 and 20 year olds marry (usually a RM) during that time and then do not graduate. But, the church does teach everyone to get all of the education they can (especially GBH emphasized that) although marriage and family would be important than graduating (it seems).

Because it's a convenient stop between get married or go on a mission, and you might need it in case something ever happens to your TBM spouse.

This thread is incredibly depressing to someone whose grandmother became a teacher in a one-room school at age 16 and eventually became a state representative, and whose maternal-side aunts included (among other accomplishments) a member of the Utah Board of Regents.

It would be more depressing, though, if I still lived in "Moriddor."

Also worth considering is how few of my high school classmates, in a town with a large but far from majority Mormon population did not go to college at all, regardless of sex/gender.

Can't contest that the assumption that Mormon women go to college for a "Mrs." degree isn't the most widespread stereotype in the area, at least it was when I was living there.

Saying that being a full-time parent gives one no marketable skills, however, is something I find insulting on several levels (in part probably because one of the survivals of my upbringing was to place more value than most on the importance of involved parenting that was more than a part-time job). The moms I grew up admiring were often extremely creative in what they did as full-time parents, something that may explain why at least some Mormons and former Mormons tend to excel in their chosen pursuits.

I take at least some credit for my eldest daughter's National Merit Scholar status on the fact that her early childhood was spent in my company rather than in a daycare warehouse, and refuse to accept the notion that my time or talents were wasted, even if that seems to be a popular prejudice for some.

The fact I'm male, though, does probably stand behind one of the reasons I did not remain within the Salt Lake Valley or its shadow.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/12/2012 02:17PM by ambivalentsince1850s.

~If on the off chance she doesn't find a RM to hitch, and remains single, she can support herself. The church won't have to support her.

~LDS girls are encouraged to marry smart guys who will be good breadwinners. They know a highly educated guy is not going to have anything in common with a wife who has little education. Getting an education at least presumes the guy will be able to carry on a conversation with her.

~LDS girls are supposed to apply their education to their homemaking. That way they can work on the budget, kid's science projects, etc.

~If hubby dies or becomes disabled, she presumably has some tools to take over.

Of course only some of these reasons may or may not be true but that was the angle I was taught growing up.

Ever thought some of them want to learn?? Why do you care if they go to college or not, its their choice. I agree some go to BYU to meet that perfect RM but I have a lot of friends that have gone and graduated from college and now have a career, some are married and some aren't. Not all TBM women are just looking to get married and get pregnant right away.

Thank you! Not ALL mormon girls are just husband hunting with no interest in education or a life plan outside of getting married.

Of all of my friends from high schoool (all mormon), not one of them got married before 22 (which is saying something for northern utah) and none had kids before 26. They all completed a degree in a field they were truly interested in (at non-LDS schools) and worked for a couple years before having kids. They all plan on continuing with their careers when their kids are older. And some of my friends are still not married at 30.

I got married in the temple at 19 and am now a 30 atheist stay-at-home mom who never went to college. I don't appreciate sterotypes no matter which direction they fall. I think this whole thread is pretty silly and condescending and over-generalizing.

"Gal, you can do one of two things to make me happy. You can get a husband or you can get a degree. And I don't give a damn about the degree."

Well, I graduated with a very high GPA, but I was a failure. I was 20 and didn't have a husband. So I went home knowing that the mormon jerk I dated in high school would be horny enough when he got home from his mission that he'd probably marry me if I were there. That worked. Then I was successful.

Gawd, how I wish I'd realized then what an idiot my dad was. It would have been fun to get my degree and go to law school and say, "well, I know you didn't give a damn about it, but guess what, I did." I finished my last class for my paralegal degree at the ripe old age of 47, knowing I'd aced my final and would graduate Summa Cum Laude, and my dad's words of 30 years previous were just running through my head. I went outside and just yelled "Fuck You, Dad!" No one heard, but it was the best therapy I ever gave myself.

no idea of Utah culture or of doctrine beyond diluted milk. I did not know about the "goal" of marrying an RM in the temple or that temples were important or what BIC was. I went there for an education. My roommates baffled me when most became engaged within a year after a shaming "if you're not married by....blah, blah, blah.....there's no excuse...." talk from the profit. They kept saying they were not going to be one of those girls married at 19 - they would wait until 20. To me that was still too young. Most married at 19. They were not there for the education, except one eventually finished to contribute to their large family. She finished just in time to begin sending them on missions, pay for YBU, and marriages, i.e. to perpetuate the cycle.

The prophets regularly speak to the college kids about not postponing parenthood. So the idea that the young women are there for the education is out the window.

Every cupcake needs a display case.


Anagrammy

A few Mormon girls who were in my daughter's class in high school finished four yrs. Most went one or two and got married. Have never worked outside the home. My own daughter quit college to marry a Mormon. It is very very sad. She has even said later....you should finish college before marriage and babies. Well, duh??? I told you that dear daugther. Oh well....what is one to do.If you are female and start college with a real desire to get a degree in something NO MAN should discourage you. I think it is rare that they ENCOURAGE their new wife to stick with it.

She was also a cheerleader in High School. She has broke more than one stereotype.

As much as I would like to bash the morg, there are still wonderful people who rise above the culture. Future exmos?