The lesson was all about how important it is to be a mother. Actually it wasn't too preachy or full of religious nonsense. At the end of the lesson my husband (who's a nevermo) and I got into a discussion with them and I ended up bringing up how the church has taught that black people's skin would get lighter once they converted.

My mom immediately said, "I think that's just anti Mormon literature. The church has never taught that." And I responded,

"Mom, I'm pretty sure you've told me that before." (which she has on two separate occassions that I remember) She completely denied it. It made me so angry! I think she's denying it so my husband doesn't think the church is crazy. Too late, he already does! Anyone else have Family who has done this before? So annoying!!!

That was back in the early seventies. However, I don't dare remind them of this because I'm afraid of their reaction.

As far as converts' skin becoming lighter while in mortality, Spencer W. Kimball taught that this was literally happening--among Native Americans ("Lamanites")--and that he had observed it for himself, and the BoM STILL teaches it:

"There is another passage in the Book of Mormon which demonstrates the term 'white' is related to a change in skin color: 'And their curse was taken from them, and their skin became white like unto the Nephites' (3 Nephi 2:15). [Note: see also 3 Nephi 2:12-14 for more context]

"Prior to 1981 LDS prophets and apostles repeatedly stated that the skin of Native Americans would one day become 'white.' Spencer W. Kimball, who became the twelfth president of the LDS Church, believed that those who converted to Mormonism were actually becoming lighter. In the LDS General Conference, October 1960, Kimball made these comments:

"'I saw a striking contrast in the progress of the Indian people . . . they are fast becoming a white and delightsome people. . . . For years they have been growing delightsome, and they are now becoming white and delightsome, as they were promised . . . The children in the home placement program in Utah are often lighter than their brothers and sisters in the hogans on the reservation.

"'At one meeting a father and mother and their sixteen-year-old daughter were present, the little member girl—sixteen—sitting between the dark father and mother, and it was evident she was several shades lighter than her parents—on the same reservation, in the same hogan, subject to the same sun and wind and weather. . . . These young members of the Church are changing to whiteness and to delightsomeness.' (Improvement Era, December 1960, pp. 922-23)"

http://www.utlm.org/onlinebooks/curseofcain_part1.htm

FD, thank you. If I get the guts to bring it up again, I will use those sources!

That's called "Gaslighting." I call it out every time someone tries to pull that crap on me.

"Gaslighting" ? Do you mean when someone denies to have said something when they have indeed said it? (Just want to understand the language)

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which false information is presented with the intent of making a victim doubt his or her own memory and perception. It may simply be the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, or it could be the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.

The term comes from a 1938 stage play which was adapted into two films - one featureing Ingrid Bergman.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

Thank you for the info. ;)

That seems a lot like voluntarily getting a papercut and having someone pour lemon juice on it...

Haven't come out to my parents yet. Maybe that will help clarify things. Not in the mood for drama with them

One must fight the battles one is prepared for. I'm guessing a few more sessions like this with your mother will make it easier to fight that battle than listen to her false denials, though.

Thanks for answering. I often wonder why people make the choices they do. It should in no way be construed as a criticism of those choices, however. You're handling your departure from the Mormon faith the way that is right for you. :)

Why do they deny it when you know they know?

I had a similar experience with a lady in the ward, the one that is the most perfect one, I think every ward has one of those.

Anyway, we were talking about raising children. She is retired now but she worked outside the home all her life, which it's fine, but because she is talking about how she raised her perfect children in the church, blah blah blah, I told her that yes the church was the best place to raise kids and that the advise of the prophets was right, that mothers should stay home with her kids. She immediately got defensive and said that is not what is taught. I told her that's what the missionaries told me when I got converted. I told her maybe it is not emphasized now but it certainly was strongly advised before and that in Utah most women are home with their kids following this advise. She goes on to deny it and I told her that I was surprised she never saw a pamphlet about mothers in Zion. She told me how the church never changes, has never changed, it is the same always. I said, the church changes, I know it has changed, maybe she means God is the same yesterday and today, but the church changes and the advise of mothers was real. I said what I said on purpose to annoy her a little because she is always so self-righteous, but I didn't expect the full denial of things. I wanted to tell her how the temple has changed too but didn't want to look suspicious.

Yes, they deny it, it is actually plain lying.

D

The fun thing about Mormonism is just because you believed it yesterday, doesn't mean you will believe it today. It all depends on the latest memo. It tells you the thing to believe. Then you just believe it. The old beliefs are then put in the anti-Mormon barrel and not spoken of again.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/13/2012 02:28PM by suckafoo.

Further proof that mormons have no idea what's in the Book of Mormon. If they would actually read it, they'd realize how ridiculous the church is for even teaching that it has any connection to reality at all.

If anybody ever asked me why I left the church and they only wanted one sentence- it would be this-
"I actually took the time to read the book of mormon."