"But she has such a sweet spirit." lol...anyone else remember hearing this at church about a woman who couldn't get an RM or wasn't married and popping out kids by the age of 19?

"Poor sister gemark, she comes alone to church every week in that same old shabby dress."

"Oh I know, I feel sorry for her too, but she has such a sweet spirit!"

Nice way of saying someone is a plain jane, or isn't "perfect" enough for a mormon relationship with the opposite sex. I haven't been to any church activities in over 18 years but I still use this phrase sometimes when joking around with my semi-active cousin. :)

And this clip uses it for "brain capacity of jello":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w

Yep, it was a name we used a lot on my mission for girls who were "not so physically attractive."

"Let me guess, you've got a great personality, right?"

shudder

This song caused a bit of trouble when the movie Sons of Provo was released.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWTWPKW1a94

From the IMDB.com trivia:
The part of Moosebutter was originally written for the REAL Mormon boy band, "Jericho Road". Unfortunately, Jericho Road is owned by Deseret Book who forbid them to be in the movie because they found the song "Sweet Spirit" to be offensive.

I've never heard the term until I started posting on these boards, so I think it must be a Utah-daho thing. I've asked a couple of times exactly what the term is supposed to imply, but my posts get deleted. I don't know why; I don't understand the term, I'm trying to understand the term as it's meant but we're not allowed to talk about it because the definition of "sweet spirit" might hurt some sweet spirit's feelings.

I get the impression it's the Utah equivalent of the Southern catch-all insult, "bless her heart."

"Boy, that girl can barely keep her goodies inside her pants. You can see her thong strap from here, bless her heart."

Is that it?

If someone is a "sweet spirit" then they are considered unattractive by mormon standards.

For example, an overweight girl that doesn't get asked out on dates would be a "sweet spirit".

Nope. This, boys and girls, is some pernicious sexism. How a woman looks is highly important, at any age. Men? No, not quite!

Disgusting.

I've always considered "Nice guy" to be the male equivalent of "Sweet spirit".

"Why don't you want to go out with Larry again?" "Well, he's a nice guy, but..."

Men are judged on the size of their wallets.

I landed a high paying job right out of high school. Word got around. On graduation day I was handed seven cards with phone numbers from girls that would never speak to me otherwise.

Less well todo men are "hard workers"

I think that's probably more true in Mormon or other SAHM circles. I think in places where people are more secular, it's not really so prevalent.

I've always worked and made my own money. I have never had the notion that a man is an ATM. Having a man financially 'take care of me' would give me the creeps, the willies and the hee-bee gee-bees.

MAIL ME (ExMoLight@gmail.com) and I will be happy to discuss it. We do not pull posts to "protect" someone, we do it when it goes against the rules/guidelines.

I can't believe it...is that what really the meaning of sweet spirit to a Mormon guy???! I thought it means having a gentle, sweet, loving qualities etc.. well it hurts to know the meaning :( someone told me that I have a sweet spirit!! but I am attractive anyway! amf..

I was considered a "sweet spirit" when I was a YW & YSA, before I left the cult. I wasn't "good enough" to date the "nice" YMs or RMs.

What they didn't know is that I thought all those guys were losers, assholes, & fuckheads. There was no way I was going to get married to any of them.

wow, this thread looks familiar

lol

I think the term Sweet Spirit has somewhat different meanings when used by different people.

Men: She isn't very pretty.

Women of the same age group: She is naive and annoyingly innocent.

Older women: She could be prettier, but she would make such a good wife and mother.

I agree, it probably means different things to different age groups and people. My original post is how I grew up knowing it though.

Here in Arizona I've only ever heard this term used to refer to mentally impaired members.

When I was at BYU the term "sweet spirit" was usually used in the same way real estate agents use the terms "quaint fixer-upper" "lots of potential," or "handyman's dream." A nice way of saying "total mess."

In my experience, at least, it wasn't used by the men as much as it was by the women, as in "I'd really like to fix you up with my roommate, she has such a sweet spirit." Which translates to mean "she has no social skills, smells like a horse, and picks her nose in public. But if you can get past all that she does have a quirky, interesting personality." It also seemed to be the way to say something positive about someone who was dealing with severe obesity issues.

For the most part it was used as a mormon passive-aggressive way to deliver a back-handed compliment. Kind of like saying someone had a great personality in spite of being physically repulsive.

And a lot of times when I heard men describing women as "sweet spirits,' the men themselves had no social skills, smelled like horses, and picked their noses in public. They never picked up on the irony. Something you'd hear men say it about women toward the end of a 12 hour Dungeons and Dragons marathon.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 09/12/2013 01:54PM by bezoar.

@ Bezoar:

I agree with you and have been (my self) described this way.

In the ward I was baptized into (converted) many of the single young ladies had a lot of pounds to shed. The male RMs did not give us a second look and the older married folks wood call us "sweet spirits."

Still made us feel sooooo less than (perfect)!!

Blah! I have only ever heard that term in the Mormon church and it makes me cringe!

it's a horrible term. But then again, I was raised TBM/BIC and they are horribly rude people.

In California and Oregon a homely Mormon girl would be called "very spiritual" by ward members.

How do Mormons define real spirituality, then, if they're gonna' call a homely person spiritual?



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/12/2013 07:15PM by liminal state.

The secret: Mormons are not spiritual. They are Pharisees and conformers of the first water.

I once heard a member who was atending BYU talking about his roomates discussing dates. If one fellow said he had been out with a girl with a 'sweet spirit', there was no reaction, other than "How nice". But if a bloke said he had been out with a girl with a "great tabernacle", they were all agog for details. Sigh, such is life, women judged by looks alone.

We called the bigger girls a Mohana. Did other areas?

From Johnny Lingo, "Mohana, you ugly." That is a lot wore than "sweet spirit."

except Mohana was a total babe....so that's confusing lol

Isn't this almost the same thing as them saying that people with down syndrome or mental illnesses were warriors in Heaven, and the way they were born here on earth is just a test?

Kind of patronizing.

it is, but that's TSCC for ya! As politically uncorrect as possible :)

I've only heard the term used derisively by Mormon men.

Sweet spirit = fugly = undate-able.

That's all that matters to them.

There is no corresponding male term because Mormon women are trained from infancy to salivate over ANY Ph-holding man who can get a TR (whether he can breathe through his nose or not).

lol this thread has become mean. And it's okay. I'm the one that started it. It's true, mormon men can be total pricks...I was just spouting off what I was taught. I don't think anyone is ugly or unworthy but I know TSCC does. Your self worth is measured from the moment you are born.

I should have clarified that I was repeating the answer I got when I asked certain Mormon guys what THEY thought the phrase meant.

no, I know that. I'm Tupperwhere and I started this mess. I'm trying to clean it up now. It's a mormon thing to downgrade women...I hate it too. I was 17 when I left the church. But this is part of mormon culture. I was never called a sweet spirit but I probably should have been.

Only in the sense that people are recollecting the mean things that others have meant when using the term.

you're right, it depends on how you were using it.

This is definitely a mormon term. Used to be used to describe most of the girls that went on missions because they couldn't get married during the '70s & 80s. Grew up in NY, so this is not just a UT thing.

It's definitely messed up and sexist.

Heh heh I have a sweet spirit, I am also a knockout! Okay so I'm 61, what does that have to do with it??? HAHAHAHA!!!!