...and underappreciated?

Overworked, unappreciated, unloved, unfulfilled, unacceptable, unequal......

Sad,isn't it? Life is SOOOOOO much better sans religion.

TG

But aren't they conditioned to be selfless? They're supposed to put their husband, kids, church first -- and not complain -- just keep smiling. Is that what leads to their depression?

Here's an example of this:
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a32363437/being_a_member_of_our_church_is_so_hard.

Wow, that woman lays it all there. I wonder if she's a troll. Seems strange the way she exposed so many controversial church topics in one post.

Too bad, no one suggested that the church was the problem. It was more like, stay on the hamster wheel but turn your brain off and stop thinking.

Hell yes. FUCK YES.

I was burned out long before my testimony went up in flames.

Now I have time to do the things that really bring me joy.

When I was in the Church I didn`t, no.

Among ourselves, we women used to make jokes like, "Come on, the men have to have something to do. We raise the children, go to Relief Society, do our Visiting Teaching, do our genealogy, bake our bread, support our husbands as they go to their meetings, etc. We can`t do it all. You want us to leave the house at 3:00 a.m. to give a blessing too? No thanks. The men need the Priesthood. We don't. We're righteous enough without it."

That would be our self-talk, in order to feel important and actually even overworked. We told ourselves we didn't need the Priesthood and the leadership positions. We already had enough to do. We felt we were in a partnership with God, having been given a small part of His creative powers.

Now, being on the outside looking in, I just roll my eyes and think, "Oh brother," remembering that self-talk. After working for the Church, I learned just how undervalued the women were. It was a good old boys club. They literally patted the women on the head and were like, "There, there little lady. You just leave it up to us men with the Priesthood to do our jobs and you just stick with cleaning the toilets."

Why is it that all major religions thinks it's necessary that life has to be nothing but suffering and sacrafic. If you enjoy yourself or have any fun, then you are made to feel you are sinning.
This is from a Catholic, LDS hasn't cornered the market on guilt.

Here are a couple of doozy questions submitted on cards during my women's self-esteem seminars back in the day:

"How do you stop crying when it's time to get the children off to school?"

"Would I lose my temple recommend if I left my husband and children?"

"Does the next wife get my children in heaven if I die by suicide?"


The depth of unhappiness and hopelessness was too much for me.


Anagrammy

My TBM mom thinks that God is always punishing her because she's not living up to TSCC's standards as well as she should. She says she's a failure. There's no getting through to her. She has drove herself crazy striving for perfection. So sad.

My sweet, temple working gma used to smile and say," Men are that they may have joy; women are that they may have guilt."

I wished she had been joking, but that's how she lived out her 84 years, working her fingers to the bone to assuage unearned guilt. :-(

My main complaint was the "underappreciated" part. Also, I never felt that I was doing anything WORTHWHILE. Our ward was wealthy, and we never did any charity work for the needy--just busywork and stupid parties to keep each other entertained. That's why I was so happy working in the PTA, where we took on a poorer inner-city school as well. I met truly dedicated parents, plus community members, such as the pro basketball and football teams. I had real authority, raising a thousands of dollars, and deciding on how to spend thousands, as a member of the Board of Education. How fulfilling and life-affirming that was! My children were proud of me! Meanwhile, back in the ward, I was never good enough to become RS pres. I was a Ss teacher, plus ward and stake organist, which took up way too much time. When I finally quit the church, I stopped playing music, and six years later, I still don't play much. I was truly burnt out.

I still felt worthless in the Mormon church--until my divorce forced me to go back to school to get advanced degrees, and I was lucky enough to have a good career and salary. Back in the gutter of Mormonism, I didn't feel I was worth even a simple "thank you", or a Sunday off when I had bronchitis. I shutter, remembering it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/27/2012 02:51AM by forestpal.

I read this thread a couple of pages through and I saw this by the OP:

"My husband did let me go shopping on Saturday. I spent about 3 hours at Kohls and Famous Footwear and that was very enjoyable"

Your husband LET you? That was kind of him!