He was just asking me about my second upcoming wedding and wanted to know if I was going to take vacation time to fly out.

"Nope, I'm not going"

"Why not, it's your son?"

"I'm not invited to the wedding"

"Your NOT INVITED?!"

"No, my son is a member of a religiouse cult that won't let parents into weddings unless they are also card holding members, maybe you've heard of them? There are a lot of them around here, you know, the Mormons?"

"But it's your son...."

"I'm not interested in flying across county to get slapped in the face"

"Well, I guess it depends on who is doing the slapping"

He then retreated into his office with a Harrumph and shut his door. I doubt I'll see him the rest of the day, and maybe not for the rest of the week.

It is near impossible for anyone not LD$ to be fully human in their eyes i.e. with feelings, deserving respect, on an equal standing, etc. Everything, and everyone defers to the cult.

Great response. His he a member of this cult?

He just left for the day and walked right past my office. He kept his eyes stright ahead and mumbled: "see ya tomorrow".

I think I've really hurt his feelings.

Stunted Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I think I've really hurt his feelings.

Good. He needs his widdle feewings hurt.

You held up a very clear mirror to his beliefs and obviously he saw the ugly reflection.

Good for you, Stunted. :-)

They resent having to "own" things that they have no control over. That's why so many of them are thin-skinned. They have to own and represent a whole lotta nonsense for a little bit of good. It drives 'em crazy. I feel bad for the ones that aren't assholes about it. I remember what it feels like. I'd be curious to know if he's one of the assholes or not?

One problem with Mormons is that you have to handle them with kid gloves. On the other hand, they have no restrictions on rudeness toward you.

Is your co-worker Mormon? You don't make this clear in your post.

He said "Oh yes, this is in the middle of Utah County."

It's in the title of a reply. I often miss reading those myself.

I don't know why he would be upset with you. You didn't make the rule. Apparently it's never occurred to him that people can't go to their own child's wedding because of the church's rules? He should be offended by his church, not you.

This is one of my number ones"issues" with this cult!!!! How does a church that preaches so much the importance of family not let family members enjoy a couples wedding day???? Wow.....if i could go back in time....

If your co-worker is a Mormon, then you are putting some salt in some wounds that need a good salting. If he is not Morman, he is probably confused at this point.

I don't understand his outrage either. Why did he get angry with you, because you are not invited to your own child's wedding? how is that something to be angry with YOU about?

Do you think it's because you used the c-word?

I took it to mean that he thinks Stunted should go, even if he's not invited and has to sit outside. Connection not being made. Notice how he was surprised that he "wasn't invited" since sitting outside your kid's wedding is still an invitation, I guess. I'm sure the c-word didn't help. The level of anger, though, is still a bit over the top. You'll have to keep us updated, Stunted. That was a small dose of reality.

"Do you think it's because you used the c-word?"

<snort>

Or, it could be that while she said "the mormons", she didn't include the obligatory, "are some of the nicest people out there."


If you ain't sustaining their faith, then you must be a critic ...

You spoke your mind - good for you! The truth hurts sometimes . . . your co-worker will get over it.

I too believe TSCC is way off on this whole only-good-Mormons-allowed-in-temple-wedding-BS!

My hubby and I have discussed this same scenario because his TBM daughter plans on getting married in the temple somewhere, someday (we are both nevermos). I won't go simply because I will not sit there at a wedding and be shunned by all of the TBM family members and friends on that side - I refuse! I would rather have a tooth extracted. I don't think my hubby will go either . . . at this point he's quite disappointed with his daughter and her behavior.

Another thing that bothers me is that even in entirely active TBM families, the younger siblings never get to see their older siblings married, unless they have been on a mission or were married sooner. My BIL was seven when I married his oldest brother. He had to wait outside for 4 marriages before he got to see one!

while their much younger sister/brother gets married. That's gotta suck, your little sister/brother getting to do all the hokey pokey while you sit outside with the other children and unclean adults.

I am the oldest of 5 and my DH is the oldest of 7. Only one of my DH's brothers could come to our temple wedding. The rest were too young and my brother was on his mission. Talk about sad....

Young children can enter a sealing room to be sealed to their parents. Teenagers can get a limited recommend in order to do dead dunkings. What is the justification for excluding an otherwise worthy child or teenager from their sibling's wedding? It's not a worthiness issue. It's not an issue of children not being able to witness a sealing, since they can certainly be present at their own sealings to their parents. It might not even be a money issue since even children can tithe. What on Earth is the church leadership thinking?

It's pretty arbitrary. My daughter got to see her father sealed to his second wife when she was 15.

If every time one of us had to miss the wedding of a close relative or good friend we wrote a real nice letter to the editor to three or four newspapers without any language that could be taken as offensive explaining how in this church that tries to appear family oriented we had to sit outside the temple while our son, daughter, brother, sister, etc got married inside.

Expain the only reason this is the case is not any doctrine of their church, it is only a policy they enforce that they cannot get married where non-believing friends and relatives can attend without being labeled as less faithful and then having to wait a year before even they can re-enter the temple. Explain that this policy makes no sense in that all it does is alienate family members. The only logical reason for this rule it that it causes some members of their church to pay 10% of their income to the church even though they might no longer believe, just so they don't miss out on occasions such as weddings.

If every time one of us had to miss a wedding because of this foolish policy we wrote multiple letters to the editor, the LDS church would become so embarrassed that they would end up changing the policy and every family with a TBM in it would benefit.

I know it probably a moot point but why don't Mos that have family outside the church have a big beautiful civil wedding for the family and friends and just "re-affirm" their marriage in the Temple after. That way everyone one is happy.

Oh, I forgot a temple wedding is the ONLY wedding, right?!

The church would lose millions in tithing. Thousands pay tithing just so they can attend. Remove the requirement and people stop paying tithing,stop wearing garments and start doing as they damn well please....Can't have that now can we????

If they did that, the church would punish them by making them wait a year to be sealed.

And they can't get pregnant before they're sealed or their firstborn won't be one of the extra-special spirits. I had a boss and a sibling who each have mentioned that they can tell the difference between their oldest who was not BIC and the rest. They claim to love them all, but the BIC spirits are so much more special.

I wish I was kidding, I wish I was lying, but that is what they each told me.

If the LDS church truely cared about families, its policy would be to encourage people that have close family or friends that aren't allowed to enter the temple to have a nice civil wedding first with all their loved ones. They could than within a week or two (either before or after the honeymoon) go back to the temple with close friends and family that are TBM and have the marriage "sealed" for time and eternity.

Unfortunately, most GA's don't have close family and friends that can't enter the temple so they don't know (or maybe don't care) about the hurt it causes people to be treated like second class citizens. Maybe it's good for us because we can better relate to how African Americans that were members of the LDS church felt prior to 1978.

Not even a Video Broadcast for those to see outside of the chamber. How about a Flat Screen TV on the outside of the Temple? Just sayin

Today was nothing but the silent treatment from the co-worker. We were the only two of our team to be in the office today so it was very obvious that I was being shunned. Unfortunately it hasn't taught me a lesson, but only made me laugh.

use the quiet time to be productive without alot of stupid interuptions.

Now you just need to remind him that Holland says they don't shun ;)

LOL! +1,000,000!!!

Until they get rid of the funny uniforms, they can't let strangers in.