I think a lot about consciousness & awareness. To me it seems to hold an answer to the most intriguing mystery: Me, others, my surroundings as I see them, and reality as it is.

Do you all think most mormons are stuck in a lower sense of awareness than those who knowingly, purposely leave?

I think we grow up trusting our parents or other adults to some level, but eventually those that reach a higher sense of awareness shed much of the mythology & simplicity/B&W thinking taught to children. For example, Santa Clause, and Joseph Smith's "calling".

I feel that shedding the delusions and simplicity of childhood is a growth experience; however it seems to come at the cost of obtaining happiness less easily. Ignorance is bliss. And while I have experienced great happiness in getting out, leaving behind the delusions cost me contentment of "eternal bliss" in the hereafter.

Then again, I love a mystery, and the new life I have is more full of mystery than what I had in mormonism. And that brings joy to me.

I feel that accepting reality as it is, by what we observe in scientific methodology, is a level of awareness above the one we had in mormonism. But I am beginning to think that it is not the final state of awareness. I study science and realize very keenly that science is actually a translation of deeper reality into meaning that our sense-dependent brain can understand.

Anyway, enough of that. I'm just curious what others think about changes in your awareness since leaving Moism.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 04/03/2012 02:46PM by Jesus Smith.

My spiritual transition included practices like grounding and centering, working with the energy in my hands and my body, guided meditations, visualization exercises, and connecting with the energy in trees, plants, animals, the Earth, the sun, and the moon.

As I became better at these simple exercises, I began to work on more advanced ones and to study the practice of magick.

The more I did these activities, the more empowered, secure, and clear-headed I felt. I noticed that, by contrast, whenever I was at church or doing church activities, I felt fuzzy, confused, angry, disempowered, bored, frustrated, guilty, and/or drained of all energy.

I also did a lot of research into Church history.

Several years post-Mo, I think that yes, I've experienced a higher level of awareness and spiritual growth and "connection" than I had whilst in TSCC.

Tara, agreed on all counts. I'm doing somewhat the same as you, but I can do more. You've inspired me to try different things and have some different experiences while in my recovery phase. :)

Jesus Smith Wrote:
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> I think a lot about consciousness & awareness. To
> me it seems to hold an answer to the most
> intriguing mystery: Me, others, my surroundings as
> I see them, and reality as it is.

Certainly the effort of tuning into consciousness in an attempt to enhance one's awareness of the world around us is enlightening in many ways. However, I am not sure how this subjective inquiry of itself brings reliable objective answers to life's mysteries. I would say more than anything it provides a deep personal insight, and humility, as to the limitations of human knowledge. After all, a closed-minded person can still learn scientific facts.

> Do you all think most mormons are stuck in a lower
> sense of awareness than those who knowingly,
> purposely leave?

Although I think this is in general a dangerous game, i.e. making judgments about another's "awareness," I do think that the vast majority of Mormons live in an "awareness bubble" such that the limitations of their worldview prevents the enlightenment (and humility) that comes with deeper reflection "awareness." Note, however, that there are many exMormons, including many on this board, whose enlightenment toward Mormonism does not seem to translate much beyond that single realization. Obviously, leaving Mormonism does NOT make one a deep thinker, although perhaps in many cases it opens the door.

> I think we grow up trusting our parents or other
> adults to some level, but eventually those that
> reach a higher sense of awareness shed much of the
> mythology & simplicity/B&W thinking taught to
> children. For example, Santa Clause, and Joseph
> Smith's "calling".

Yes, but keep in mind that Santa Claus and Joseph Smith, as examples of mythological parental teaching are easy cases. Once one moves more and more into the deeper aspects of life and reality, the issues become more complex, and "truth" and "reality" as to life's deepest mysteries remain quite illusive. In the hard cases, I think we need to be extremely careful in differentiating between the noble stance of "awareness" (a psychological openness) and the dogmatic pronouncement of "truth."

> I feel that shedding the delusions and simplicity
> of childhood is a growth experience; however it
> seems to come at the cost of obtaining happiness
> less easily. Ignorance is bliss. And while I
> have experienced great happiness in getting out,
> leaving behind the delusions cost me contentment
> of "eternal bliss" in the hereafter.

Yes. I have felt this at times also. There is a price to be paid for "awareness" as well as benefits. For me, however, when a myth structure is demonstrably false--or clearly evidentially false--then the bliss aspect of continued belief no longer works. We have lost our innocence, so to speak.

> Then again, I love a mystery, and the new life I
> have is more full of mystery than what I had in
> mormonism. And that brings joy to me.

> I feel that accepting reality as it is, by what we
> observe in scientific methodology, is a level of
> awareness above the one we had in mormonism. But
> I am beginning to think that it is not the final
> state of awareness. I study science and realize
> very keenly that science is actually a translation
> of deeper reality into meaning that our
> sense-dependent brain can understand.

When you say "accepting reality as it is" and invoke science, I get a little nervous. Clearly, modern science, including both relativity and quantum mechanics, fall far short of identifying reality "as it is." I view both as pointers to reality; hints, from which further reflections and speculations become personally interesting and meaningful. Mormonism does not prevent scientific knowledge, but its limiting worldview prevents interpretations and reflection that are both meaningful and free of distortion.

I fully agree that there is yet a deeper sense of awareness that lies beyond even science, and I like your characterization of science as a translation of a deeper reality into meaning our brain can understand. I will remember that!
>
Thanks for these thoughts, and best regards,
HB

I experience a lot less derealization, now that I know the truth. I was right to trust my gut all these years, before I knew any of the facts about the morg.

But I don't think a lessening of psychiatric symptoms is quite where you were going with this. ;)

My focus has been on communication, especially how morgbots try very hard not to communicate much that is real, sticking with the superficial, or trying to impress upon others that they are privy to secret knowledge or authority, when really they are a bit more clueless on average. Except for the personality disordered amongst them who know exactly, consciously, how to manipulate others for their own gain.