Women do usually have multiple orgasms that are more intense than that of a man; however, it takes much longer to get them to that point, and, as a result, they sometimes miss out on their orgasm because partner gets tired of trying.
Men's might not be as intense, but is fairly easy to achieve.
I'd rather have a "big O" not as often. However, after twelve years together my husband and I know each other quite well. It's generally a big, multiple O most times.
But then, as per the conversation earlier, he does feel like a failure if it doesn't work out for me. I kinda feel that even when it doesn't work out for me, I still enjoy my time with him and giving him pleasure. I don't think he totally believes me when I say that, but it's true.
I think we should have flash mobs (which are very different from J.S. Mobs :) at different ward Sunday schools around the church and start conversations like these. They bow down to the loudest voices there so if we were to have ten of us together we would have a fighting chance to get that conversation going.
There is nothing like having open conversations to destroy taboos.
Since I'm all about brutal honesty, let me admit that the most explicit, funny, casual conversation I've had about sex recently was with a TBM YW-leader friend who came to pick up a hat I crocheted for her for camp. She told me about her BJFS (Blow-jobs for science) experiment. Hilarious, free-spirited. Ya gots to give credit to the peeps, right?
My first lover/boyfriend/co-living-in-sinner and I use to have orgasm races. For instance, we'd each lay in bed and masturbate and who ever came last, literally, had to do the dishes, scrub the tub or whatever.
You'd think that me, being female, would have a disadvantage. Well, no at all. I can be quick! And 'with it' enough to casually mention to the boyfriend little snippets about his mother and her flatulence problem while being able to maintain my own rising horniness. I was the world champion at our orgasm races!
It was good training; and it should be an Olympic event, imo!
I'm a 40 year old guy. Last week I had 2 distinct, complete orgasms... within 2 minutes of each other! My wife usually starts off with an orgasm brought on from my finger manipulation, then she has one from oral stimulation, then 1-2 from intercourse. I have O's 100% of the time. If her body doesn't cooperate, she doesn't mind too much. She says 50% of the time would be adequate, since the act alone is pleasurable enough. As I get older, I think I may become more like her, and can see a day when my body doesn't cooperate and I am not guaranteed an orgasm with every encounter.
I'd rather have 2-3* every time. Usually the first one is an okay one and the second and third are mindblowing.
* This almost never happens with a partner. Apparently, I tend to have sex with men who can't be bothered to hang in there with me to reach that point; they're either too lazy or too clueless. Once I get there (after the first one), subsequent orgasms are easy and only take a couple minutes. By myself (with B.O.B., my battery-operated boyfriend), the first one takes a few minutes. I can get off three times in about 20 minutes or less.
You should read "The Clitoral Truth" by Rebecca Chalker.
It might give you an in depth understanding of the clitoral function and female orgasms, especially considering the clitoris is the ONLY human body part soley designed for sexual pleasure.
From my own personal experience, I've had orgasms that made me pass out from the pleasure. It's pretty damn cool.
When I was first married (and was a virgin prior) my ex and I would sometimes go 2 or 3 times a night. In 27 years of marriage, I almost always ensured she reached orgasm prior to me finishing.
When I was put on some antidepressants, I started having problems finishing. Sex one or two times a day, but still I would only orgasm once a week. When I did it felt like my head would explode though. Once I thought I was having an aneurism. After the divorce, I was with a friend that was on the same medication. We would go for 4 or 5 hours. It was actually fun.
Some men can have multiples too... though most men have to learn how. I believe it involves learning to separate orgasm from ejaculation. My first boyfriend could do it; multiple orgasms without ejaculating and he said the the dry orgasms felt as good as the wet ones... but required controlling certain muscles.
I don't know if my first and TBM wife ever had an "O", but if she did she hid it very well. After 30 plus years with her and very minimal intimacy and a divorce I am now remarried. My wife has O's very quickly, we usually start off with foreplay, which almost 100% of the time gives her 2 or 3 O's then we move to the "real deal" and usually hers comes almost instantly. Then we continue and after she is almost exhausted from multiple O's she finally focuses on me and I get my turn. I can't do more than one so I always let her have her fun and when she is almost too tired to continue I have mine and then we lay there holding each other until we fall asleep.
I've hung in there so long with no results. So I just can't justify trying anymore. I've read books, we've gone to therapists, I've tried to not make it a big deal, nothing works.
Dead battery. Alternator shot also. Elictrical system wired wrong. Chip bad.
Ain't gonna happen for me this go around. The wife has no ability to do it.
Wouldn't it be great for R.S. and Elders Quorum to study the topic and teach more about sexuality and spirituality. The parking lot's would be packed! I have COME a long way since those day's and totally enjoy orgasmic spirituality thanks to retreats and workshops.
This is a big overshare on my part, and I figure my husband will probably not appreciate the details I'm providing when he sees this, but since no one knows who we are, I'm going forward...
It's my understanding that my husband has more intense orgasms when I use alternate ways of getting him there. Instead of focusing on..(I feel dirty just typing this) his shaft, there is a lot of touching (and sometimes oral contact) on his uh, taint (I can't believe I just typed that), testicles, and further down. If I focus on those areas, taking things slow, I think his orgasm is a bigger, better experience than it is if I just cut to the chase or if we're having sex.
On the perineum (the "taint") provides some stimulation to the prostrate, so it makes sense a your hubby would have a more intense orgasm if you touched that area.
Now if you're feeling really freaky, there are other things to do that really make a man explode, but most are too freaked out by the idea or they think it makes them gay if they like that kind of stimulation.
I say don't knock it till you try it.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/04/2012 03:57PM by Itzpapalotl.
You wouldn't believe some of the things I've done...
And sure, some of the freaky things make it more pleasurable, especially with a build up, but I don't have the body convulsion "my legs don't work now" orgasm...lol
I do need to look into that orgasm without ejaculation thing though. Since I can hold off forever if I need to, it sounds like I might have an opportunity for multiples!!
Work out more, be physically active, and increase those testosterone levels. Also, stop whacking off daily. Those things should help you have a much more intense orgasm. :)
For me it depends a lot on who I am with and how I am feeling any particular day. Either way, I'd rather have a lot of little orgasms. I would never want to give up my ability to have multiple orgasms in one session.