I recently came out as gay to my parents, and my father in particular (very TBM) is having a hard time understanding. Can anyone help me find good church references that tell it like it really is instead of some asenine moron's ideas? Sadly, if one of the "big 15" says it he'll believe it but from me he won't. :(

Xyandro, explain what you mean by "tell it like it really is." Are you looking for some scriptural reference of acceptance of one another?

I'm looking for things that portray homosexuality as a natural aspect of people and not an evil deviation, and especially things that say that it can't be changed.

Bill Bradshaw is a prof at byu. You can google his name for more on his presentation.

http://newsnet.byu.edu/story.cfm/49488

When was his court of love?

nothing happened to him. still at byu and still a member in good standing.

Well, do you know what I honestly think Xyandro? Your parents may be confused about the whole "gay thing," but it is not your job to prove that this is right or not. You are who you are, and as your parents they should love and accept you for you! Didnt Jesus say just before he left that above all, the most important commandment is to "love on another as I have loved you"? How can the prophets or appostles adjust this by saying "except the gays." Seriously! there are no exceptions to what he said. Jesus loved unconditionally and so should your parents. Take a look at the bigger picture, Please! dont stress yourself over this! the pain is not worth it... it is not your problem, it's theirs.

I know that there's really nothing I can do in the end, but I was hoping to ease the transition for them. My mom is in panic mode over this and could use any backup available. Even if it's stupid church stuff.

They've both reassured me that they love me and are working on it. I just want to help out if I can.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/04/2012 07:07PM by Xyandro.

If your Dad thinks you are choosing to be gay, ask him when did he decide to be a heterosexual.

There's a book by an LDS author that might help your parents:

"No More Goodbyes: Circling the Wagons Around Our Gay Loved Ones" by Carol Lynn Pearson. It's been a while since I've read it. She has a very compassionate attitude toward gays & lesbians. (Her mormon husband died of AIDS.)

There are some other books that might help, though not by LDS authors:

"What the Bible Really Says about Homosexuality" by Daniel A. Helminiak. This one is by a Catholic priest who discusses the biblical references to homosexuality. He talks about the context of each passage, and discusses the original wording that lead to the English translations. It's a short one (less than 100 pages).

"Gay, Straight, and the Reason Why" by Simon LeVay is written for a general audience and discusses the scientific research into homosexuality. One of the main points he makes (among others) is that physical traits related to homosexuality are present at birth and are probably related to prenatal hormone exposure. He gets into some of the genetic evidence around the issue as well.

You didn't ask for it, but here's a bit of advice. I also came out as gay to my TBM parents. Remember to be patient with them. It probably took you a while for you to come to terms with being gay, and then more time to find the courage to come out to your parents. A good rule of thumb is to be fair and give them just as much time to deal with what you've told them. And if you can, try to reassure them that you're the same person you've always been and you're not going to change drastically.

My story turned out well. It was bumpy for a while, but everything is great now. I'm out to my whole TBM family, my nieces and nephews love having a gay uncle, my boyfriend is accepted as another member of the family. (He's gone home with me for Christmas several times).

Good luck!

I understand that coming from an organization that goes out into the world to try to convince people to change their beliefs that folks often try to find that ONE convincing piece of evidence that will change someone's mind. BUT, it seems to me that most of us had to search for ourselves before we could open our minds to new ways of thinking.

None of the arguments against mormonism are new. Most of us had heard those arguments for years before we finally sat down and started really thinking about them. When that happened, we experienced a major paradigm shift and our lives changed.

It is not YOUR responsibility to find the answers your father seeks. In my experience when we try to do that, it just hardens the resistance. It leads to a useless process of trying to convince someone who is determined not to be convinced.

You can provide him evidence that all he has ever been told about how you will be miserable is false and hopefully he will begin to question. Perhaps the most compelling evidence will be your own life.