I saw a headline at The Onion:

>New Girlfriend Tests Poorly With Peer Focus Group<

Since I had just been reading RFM a few moments before, my weird old brain changed "Girlfriend" to "Convert."

In a way, that could be true. The ward goes overboard fellowshipping the investigator/convert, but after a while, each member forms an opinion about the convert. Since converts don't have a lifetime of LDS culture and indoctrination, they will usually seem a bit off, a bit weird. "Hmmmm, is the new guy really one of us? Is he worthy of our friendship?"

Interesting idea, sm, the convert may feel the difference in this subculture as personal rejection. This would also explain the higher inactivity rate for converts outside the USA.

Remember what a big deal they made about allowing Samoan men to wear the tradition skirt? They made them wear a white shirt and a tie with it, which was ludicrous -- a cultural chimera.

They are really not so smart. They should have separated the cultural aspect from the religious long ago. Now that they are being schooled by the Catholic church and taking on their successful strategies (he was speaking as a man then....), we can expect they will become more culturally mobile and less rigid in dress requirements, etc., at least internationally.

Here at home they must tighten up the rules as proof of their superiority. Otherwise, gasp, they might just be another protestant religion.

Anagrammy

That makes me think of the Mormon Church we pass on Sunday mornings (on our way to the beach) every time we are in Hawaii. The male memebers are coming out of the building in long black slacks, long sleeved white dress shirts, dark ties and shoes and socks. The women have long skirts or jumpers and blouses and it appears they are wearing nylons. NOBODY in Hawaii dresses like that except mormons!!!!! No one. It is just plain weird. How soon after their baptism do they finally tell new converts..."now, about the dress code...and we require at least one green jello salad at every luau..." It's a wonder anyone actually stays in!

I was a convert. During my years in TSCC, I watched a lot of other converts come and go, too. Here's my analysis:
- The investigator is set up with unrealistic expectations: when they show up to church and are introduced as an "investigator," everyone drools friendliness and fake warmth all over them.
- They are deluged with invitations, phone calls, visits, baked goods, and other "love-bombing." They don't understand what's really going on, so they feel accepted and cared for.
- Once baptized, they're given a calling to make sure they stay active.
- Most of the BIC ward members will reject the newbie because they aren't 4th or 5th or even 2nd gen Mormons. If they make cultural mistakes due to ignorance of all the unwritten rules, newbies will be judged and gossiped about behind their backs.Then, they will likely be ignored. They will not get the prestige callings or positions of responsibility.
- Soon, they're just another member who gets asked to do stuff, endlessly. Disillusionment will set in. Where did all the love-bombers go?
- The love-bombers may randomly reappear after guilt-inducing GC talks. But this time, the not-so-newbie knows what's up.
- Eventually, the convert gets tired of putting in all their time and effort and being treated like dirt. The smarter ones leave.

O h my gosh.
That's ME. That is exactly what happened to me. I had not realized how calculated it all was and how naive I was.

So true. Every new convert should be required to live for at least one year in Utah Valley, so the real members can decide if the convert has what it takes to be a real Mormon.

They will mostly be found wanting, and will be rejected. Then they can return to the real world, and get on with their non-Mo lives.

We did notice however that Utah TBMs, senior and junior missionaries, were often just a bit odd but we put that down to the American factor.

To be honest, I really thought all Americans were like Utah mormons. I know better now of course.

The folks on here are great!

Briggy

I was a convert(I have uncles and aunts that are BIC from my Grandmothers second marriage) but I didn't leave the Church for several years after. I am sure some new converts leave because of some above issues but in defence of converts I didn't join the Church because I wanted a social life or a group of friends. I was attracted to the religious aspect. I felt something "missing" in my life and the path I was down wasn't good.
I left the Church when I realized for myself that it was all BS. It took me awhile but so many little things happened that turned me off, mainly learning more about js life and the fact that my husband was inactive.
It took a good 2 years to get my life back to where it is now. It has been hard to look back and realize how much bs I believed and how indoctrinated I was.
It makes me sad to think that there is unsuspecting people like myself who fall into the trap of this church.

-S

And is the convert experience profoundly different outside the Morridor? Maybe it's better/easier and the Mormons more accepting and less neglecting outside the Morridor?

Anyone's thoughts?

Converts also dont know the bad history of the LDS Church, when they find out, its unlikely their entire family is LDS, so it's easier for them to quit.. Nobody likes being lied to.

Strike One for me was my Hyper-Inquisitive nature.

Strike Two was being a convert.