Ok, not so much the invitation itself, but the way it was delivered.

Someone put a invitation to a Mormon wedding reception up on the bulletin board at work. That is right, they are inviting the whole office by pinning a single invitation to the bulletin board in the break room.

Oh, and the invitation was sure to mention that they were registered at Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

Yes, it was a regular, real invitation that one would send in the mail.

TACKY.

They used to put these up on the bulletin board at my old ward building all the time when I was growing up. I told my mom if she put my invitation on the bulletin board at church, I'd never speak to her again. The worst was a friend of mine who felt the same way I did, and someone she didn't even know put her invitation up on the BB. Fortunately, her mom saw it and took it down but my friend was pissed because she didn't want everyone and their dog showing up to her wedding.

but they STILL can't go thru the Temple, Right?

There is one up where I work right now. It wasn't even printed in color.

Written in the corner by the places she is registered, she has some little thing that says something about being blessed (with presents from Target, apparently).

Apparently it isn't just Mormons.

I guess she just wanted to include anyone at work who wanted to be attend her wedding festivities.

Same goes for generic baby announancements that get posted. I never know if they want presents or if they just want to share the news.

Just curious, from a practical standpoint, how can this work? How do you know how much food, how many tables, etc.? Caterers need a pretty precise count.

The few mormon receptions I've attended did not take too much planning. No (real) food, only couple tables, and nobody is expected to stay too long. It's more shake their hands, drop the present, have a mormon punch, maybe some finger food, and go away so others can come.

I've been at a reception where they served regular ham sandwiches cut in little squares. wtf??

LOL...hahahahaha! Planning? Food? Arragements? Caterers?

Surely you jest!

:-)

I guess it takes some planning to decide which corner of the basketball court should be where people stack the presents they bring.

Cheap and greedy. What a combination.

My DM announced my wedding information in Relief Society. I had resigned two years before but DM was still in the ward I grew up in so many of the people knew me. Several couples and one large family showed up at the wedding. They were very surprised when they noticed it was not a mormon wedding reception in a gym, but an actual ceremony and reception that clearly had nothing to do with the LDS church. I hope they felt very uncomfortable coming to an event they did not recieve an invitation to.

Really? I understand that there are things that we like and don't like. But just because you don't like it, you don't have to make fun of it. Who cares how they got married? or how their weddings/invitations are like? As long as they are married and happy, then we should be happy for them.

Btw, honestly, I think Mormons, if not associating much with non-Mormons, naturally would not know how to organize weddings similar to those in non-Mormons cultures, and vice versa.

I do agree that if you don't receive an invitation, or get invited personally, then don't come. But just like there are Mormons with no manners, there are non-Mormons with no manners also.

I think the world would be alot happier if people stop caring about religious differences, stop judging people, and just start living life.

edit



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/01/2013 06:22AM by caedmon.

This was one thing that I was really annoyed about when I found my TBM ex did something like that. In this case, it was his fraternity's bulletin board he posted invitations on. I thought it was tacky, and didn't realize that it was only the tip of the iceberg as far as lack of manners goes. If I didn't do all the thank you cards and take them to the post office myself, none of them would have gone out. I found out that some never got done, so they were sent later than I would have liked. Let's just say that I shocked his family by sending a card as it was their first thank-you from him ever.

YES! This is such a pet-peeve of mine. I never understand what is expected of me.

Am I invited? Am I supposed to just give a gift? I am supposed to donate towards a group gift from everyone in the office?

The reception center warned us NOT to do this or put an announcement in the paper prior to the reception because people would assume they were invited and show up. And since we were planning a very nice dinner we would have to scramble (and pay for) dinners for these louts. She said everyone would assume they were invited!

And what is with no RSVP from those who were sent invitations? And, while I'm ranting, what is with those who did RSVP and didn't show up?

caedmon Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> YES! This is such a pet-peeve of mine. I never
> understand what is expected of me.

Hmm. And seeing as how avoiding that precise thing (your guests not knowing what is expected) is the point of social etiquette in the first place, I'm starting to see why people here often mention the Mormon lack of manners.

[I can see how ambivalent social practices might become more acceptable to folks who are used to double talk, too.]

It does seem tacky to many outsiders, but it's a cultural thing. I think the custom of sparse, informal receptions emanates from the idea that they don't want to make too much of the reception because the "real" wedding was in the temple.

Also, a lot of these families have loads of girls to marry off and are giving 10 plus percent to the morg, so they don't have the dough to put on a big feed.

Wealthy or celeb mormons are different, the rules for those are anything goes.

Sounds like I'm making excuses, but this is part of it.

I have to agree.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/28/2012 04:39PM by MJ.

From the movie The R.M. discussing ex-fiancee's wedding announcement:

Jeweler: "Matching denim?"

Jared: "On bales of hay!"

and I refused to do it when I got married years ago. I also chose to have a luncheon and no line--just the groom and I. I had a nonmo coworker tell me it was the nicest wedding she'd been to in Utah. Oh, and Utahns are known for giving you a little scroll at the reception that says thank you for your gift. I refused to do that, too.

The tackiest thing I've ever seen was one of my coworkers getting married for the 4th time (I wonder if she is divorced now)--who looked down her nose at me for shacking up with my boyfriend while she kept getting married so she could be temple worthy. She put up her announcement for her 4th wedding in our office and on it they requested no gifts--that there would be a money tree at the reception instead.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/28/2012 04:53PM by cl2.

Though not an LDS one, I got a wedding invitation via facebook today, complete with costs if you want to attend the buffet....second marriages for both and have been living in sin for eons. Biker wedding and venue in conjunction with some Rally.

Finally, I hear of someone else who feels printing where you are registered on the wedding invitation is rude and tacky! I have posted about that on here before and gotten mostly comments about how everyone does it and it isn't presumptuous and rude. If I care enough about the couple to actually attend the reception, I do give a gift, but I always (not necessarily consciously) spend more on their stuff if I have not been given a list of what items they would deem acceptable for me to purchase for them. I know "everyone does it," but I think it's crass. The "no gifts please...we just want the gift of your presence....oh, and there will be a money tree there for your convenience" thing is even worse.

I have also personally heard recent brides talking about how when they went through the store and registered, they registered for a lot of things they didn't necessarily want, but were planning to return a ton of stuff from their registry because what they really wanted most was cash. Pathetic practice!

They smack of the expectation of gifts. registries say noting but "I'm getting married, here is what to buy n=me"

Love the moniker, faceless gift giver #2,350 (or whatever # it was....I already forgot which number you were and so did the couple who sent the invitation).

I feel exactly the same way. I don't like it when they print where they are registered on the invitation. Hate the "money tree" thing even worse....making it sound like it's "for your convenience," when really it's, "we don't want to take the chance that you buy us the wrong gift; only cash is acceptable." I don't consciously do this, but, like you, I also find that I spend more on a gift when I have not received a list of acceptable items from which I am expected to choose. Now this tacky practice has spread to baby showers and I even heard one girl announce she was having a birthday celebration for herself (this is an adult) and her birthday registry is online at such-and-such website if anyone wants to know what she would like for a gift.

"Everyone does it" doesn't make it a classy thing to do.

We saw my husband's sister's invitation pinned up on the church bulletin board when we were at the church for her reception. Along with the card stating where they were registered. Just steps from the chapel, I guess you can assert your small appliance wish list. And worse, of course. All the 20 somethings we've seen marry in the last ten/fifteen years have put things like XBoxes and plasma televisions on their wedding registries. So adult. Almost too adult, really.

My rule is if you send me a card telling me where you are registered, I will not give you a gift. I'm am not an imbecile. I know you want presents, not my presence.

Other than the plastic flowers, eternal amount of netting, white Christmas lights, wooden wheelbarrows, gratuitous baby pictures slide show and gigantic table of candies in the wedding colors (what's with these candy shop wedding receptions? Are you a grown-up or are you two years old?), the bride and groom had ordered gigantic blow up photo posters of themselves and put them all over the "cultural hall". Mercy. Like Realtor head shots on easels all over the gym.

Don't get me going about the powdered lemonade!

Those tables of candy aren't a Mormon idea. I've seen those at non-Mo weddings more often than I've seen them at Mormon weddings (I put it down to Mormon cheapness). And they are way better as a wedding souvenir than a lot of other things people give. The attendees can choose the candy they like instead of giving the guests something they don't want or need. Grown ups like candy too.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/28/2012 08:20PM by CA girl.

Civil ceremony, second marriage for both. To symbolize the blending of their lives, bride, groom, and offspring each emptied a jar of "their" color M&Ms into a large bowl and mixed it up. The bowl with a scoop and net bags, was on the dessert table. I heard the groom's daughters were up all night separating the candies into different colored piles. Didn't have the heart to tell them that you can order them in every individual color you can think of online.

one of them would stop me.

My aunts 4 kids (aunt's family went to the same ward as we did) all had receptions in the cultural hall. They sent invites to everyone in the ward (@ 200). Looking back, most ward members did this when their kids married.

Fast forward a couple of years to when I sent out wedding invites only to ward members I had a relationship with when I was active (@20). It was appalling, not to mention awkward, when ward members asked me or my parents why they weren't invited/didn't receive an invite.

By the day of my wedding, I had been inactive for almost 2 years. We had our reception in a hotel ballroom, with a full bar and a great DJ. Everyone danced the night away and had a blast! The Mormons (including family), however, were out the door so fast after dinner you would have thought Satan himself was in attendance.

Given that I knew when this went up on the board where I volunteer that it was an outright present grab, that she neither botherded to get to know her non mo coworkers and in fact disparaged most of us as sinful sloths every chance she got,and that none of us non worthy, non Mormons were actually being invited or would be permitted to attend said wedding itself when it occurred, my response to that was to give no gift, wish no congratulations and ignore it like I do the pampered chef, Mary kay and 31 purse party invites.

Would be to tack a Bed, Bath, & Beyond coupon from the local paper right underneath the 'community' invite. That could serve as the 'community' wedding present.

http://bedbathandbeyondcouponsnow.wordpress.com/bed-bath-and-beyond-coupons/bed-bath-and-beyond-coupon/

(And incidentally, my TBM dad and uberTBM stepmonster never fail to amaze at their new levels of tackiness and social awkwardness.)