In the thread about the funniest/coolest thing you've ever seen or done in the temple, Ibenni said that it almost made him want to be TBM just to experience the temple off kilter.

I've thought along the same lines. There are times I think, "damn, I shoulda paid tithing for awhile before I resigned just to go to the temple and mess with people." The things I've thought of that would have been fun would be wearing red bikini undies and bra and no garmies under a white dress just barely sheer enough that the old biddies could see through and wonder. Just to see if they'd stop me and ask if I had the proper undies on, to which I would reply "yes, ma'am." Or tie the bow on the uglyass veil in a knot very low and not up by my chin. Or just stupid things that would put their holy panties in a wad. I know, I know, that's disrespecting someone else's sacred cow (sorry, but I think a cow is more sacred, just sayin), but I just have warped fantasies, I guess.

What would you do?

well...number one...nobody " must" pay tithing...no one really knows how much money anyone makes..


If I pay one dollar tithing for the whole year...they can't do anything..

I would lie alot more during the temple recommend interview...

deny everything...just like every TBM does anyone...

Oh I would prob just push the envelope alot...maybe make a really good copy of my temple recommend and give someone outside of TSCC a taste of the temple...I could think of a lot of things

it happened every (few) time I went. I got in trouble for not tying my sash in a perfect bow. I got in trouble because my robe was on "inside out"--and for those of you who have been through, you know it is almost impossible to tell if the robe is on inside out. It never failed--I got called on something every time I went.

I felt the temple experience in and of itself was off kilter. Maybe I could have tolerated it better drunk.

At the veil:

Ooooooh, is that the inside of your knee to my knee or are you just happy to see me?

Hmmmmm, I MIGHT give it to you. Bring me through to the other side and let me get a good look at you.

OK. Yeah. Health in the navel, marrow in the bones, strength in the loins, and oh buddy, do I love guys with strength in the loins... but I digress... where was I, oh yeah, and the sinews, whateverthehell that is. Power in the priesthood....

Treat the prayer circle like it is the hokey-pokey and turn yourself about between each sign.

Shit. Why didn't I think of that years ago... I mean, what if the hokey-pokey really IS what it's all about?

I went to a temple dedication (video feed) full of Starbucks. My husband really wanted to take our family and the bishop didn't know about my disbelief and just handed us the passes. I went out and got a venti-sized frappuccino to get me through the unbelievably mind-numbing spiritual experience.

The good part is that my kids were completely freaked out by the Hosanna Shout and waving the handkerchiefs.

What would I do? Mushrooms.

If by "off kilter" you mean dropping the kilt, that would be amusing to all.

Where is Mark Hofmann when you need him? Some people can forge anything/everything........and we all know that TSCC isn't good at noticing forgeries. Why isn't someone forging Temple recommends and selling them like tickets to an amusement park? Double dare ya?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/05/2012 12:42AM by enoughenoch19.

Wow, that was weird! maybe the same forces that took the BYU student's post off did it to me too.
I just tried to post my response to the prayer circle and the hokey pokey and it said my message might be spam. Anyway, it did not post it.
But I did laugh and laugh about that mcarp.

was actually about 5 years after I had left the mormon church. But that's a story for a different day.

The last time I went in, I put "Mickey Mouse" on the prayer roll.

I really wish I were a member of the mormon church right now.

I have a friend who is an avid sewer "sew er". Seamstress. Anyway, we were in a fabric store a couple of years ago and I found a small bolt of the exact fabric that they used for the temple aprons. I bought it and we were going to make me a new apron - this one with embroidered marijuana leaves in lieu of fig ones. Wouldn't that a be a thrill to wear it in the temple and see if anybody noticed?

And I wonder how the temple film would be on a little 420?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/05/2012 02:27AM by Levi.

Go a little Pentecostal. During prayer raise your hand and mumble praises, speak in tongues and clap your hands.

suckafoo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Go a little Pentecostal. During prayer raise your
> hand and mumble praises, speak in tongues and clap
> your hands.


Other than clapping the hands, this is EXACTLY what the prayer circle was when I first went to the temple. We raised "both hands high above the head" and mumbled "pay lay ale" which is "Oh God, hear the words of my mouth" in the pure Adamic tongue.

Speaking in tongues: Six days a week in the LDS temple until 1990.

I usually misbehave in some way, when under duress or in the presence of insanity.

In the temple, on two different visits, I had diarrhea, and had to keep getting up and leaving the sessions. When the matrons chastised me, I asked politely if I could sit in a vacant seat in the back near the door, but they said there had to be strict adherence to the original seating, bla-bla. It served them right that I had to crawl over everyone's knees to get to the aisle, every 10 minutes or so.

I would get even by doing everything annoying that was done to me. I would steal clothes and purses, tell everyone to shush, eat garlic and talk close, touch and push and shove and adjust people's costumes, fall asleep and snore. I would go ahead and laugh out loud, instead of stifling and turning purple. When the guy says you can leave, I would get up and leave.

When I have to veil my face, I use my arms to hold the veil as far from my face as I can as a sign of rebellion against the stupid patriarchy sh!t of TSCC.

I would raise my hand at odd times and stand up and question everything that they were doing and talking about.