Current Babycenter thread....

http://community.babycenter.com/post/a33103291/how_would_you_react


Wow... if my husband ever threatened to divorce me over something like this, I'd probably do some yelling.

If you husband ever threatened to divorce you over non-lds music, you need to run down to a lawyers office and file first.

forbiddencokedrinker Wrote:
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> If you husband ever threatened to divorce you over
> non-lds music, you need to run down to a lawyers
> office and file first.

+1!

That thread was INSANE, but not surprising.

(btw, did you happen to catch the feeding the missionaries/fruit salad post?)

Not yet. Guess I better go look for it!

Seriously... that husband sounds like a manipulative, controlling twerp. Thank God I married someone who doesn't pull that kind of shit.

The husband sounds awful. I would NEVER marry someone like that! Also, did she have to repent for listening to this artist?

For the mish thread, search missionaries_and_food, I can't link it for some reason.

Lordy... reading the food thread now. Geez!

The artist in question was Eminem! In my day, it would have been Prince!

Oh! I was wondering who it was, I missed where she confirmed it. How crazy. I imagined it was Marylin Manson or some sort of satanic death metal, considering her level of guilt about formerly liking the artist in her first few posts. Eminem. Wow.

The whole "wouldn't be married long enough to find out" comment... such a jerk.

The food thread is crazy in a different kind of controlling way. The OP wanted to control who ate what at her house, to the point of looking for a "tell-tale smear of cream dressing" on plates when cleaning up. Then it morphed into some excuse about not trusting the guy to teach her contacts, she can teach them better. The whole todo she made over the cultural aspect and she ends up being from this country. These people... they need to learn to let go.

That food thread is insane!

However, I can sort of relate. When I was a Peace Corps Volunteer, an American woman who worked for an NGO invited me to her house for dinner. I baked her some fresh bread, which it turned out she didn't like. And she made a dish that was CHOCK full of mushrooms. I don't eat mushrooms because I hate them with a passion and have sort of a phobia of them. It was very embarrassing, but I explained what my issue was and she was very amused. In Armenia, I ate all kinds of things that almost made me throw up, but mushrooms are the one food I absolutely will not eat.

How funny! The Peace Corps sounds like such a great experience!

Mycophobia is a reall thing, and more common than I ever imagined. I have 2 friends with full-blown phobia, one is so severe, he gets uncomfortable if he's at a party and stands too close to a crudite platter with mushrooms!

I understand that sharing food is a big part of becoming a trusted member of a new culture, especially in indigeneous or remote cultures. But this was an american, in america, who clearly didn't want fruit salad. So weird. I can't blame him, but I have strange food quirks anyway. Besides being a strict vegetarian for OCD reasons, I don't like sweet things with savory things. Who wants a drippy sweet glob of fruit cream or whatever on their plate, right next to some main course? Though for all my quirks, I do love mushrooms (and fresh baked bread).

LOL... Yeah, a few years ago, I actually wrote an article about mycophobia on Yahoo! Voices. I got so many comments on that article, including one from a woman who had been on the Montel Williams Show. I had mentioned seeing her on that show, which was about strange food phobias, and realizing that I wasn't the only one who was afraid of mushrooms! She reacted the same way when Montel tried to get her to touch a mushroom that I did when I was a little kid. He actually got her to eat one by offering to kiss her. He held the mushroom between his lips. It worked. It would not have worked for me, because I don't like kissing people on the lips.

The lady who invited me over was not familiar with mycophobia at all. Luckily, she was open-minded and thought it was funny! I can't eat cold cheese or really strong flavored cheeses. If it's mild and meltable, I'm fine, but don't give me string cheese. I tried to eat some cheese at a Kaserei in Germany and almost puked.

I feel sorry for the mishies... They have to live such austere lifestyles and, if they get invited to dinner, God help them if they don't clean their plates!

I blame Mario for all these people with mushroom fears. Either that, or it is a below the surface discomfort with sex.

My ex-wife used to threaten me with divorce, every time I did the smallest thing, to which she did not approve. When I finally had enough of her manipulation and abuse (there were a whole lot of other things going on) and had papers served on her, you would have thought I had just murdered her best friend. People don't threaten divorce, or leaving, because they think the relationship is not working, they do so as a control tactic. If they are serious about splitting, they either do it for real, or sit down and talk about the problems rationally.

My ex-husband did that with me as well, but I called his bluff as I was the one to serve him with the papers. It became pretty scary at that point because he said that as a woman, I had "no right" to file, but in the end, he still signed the papers. I was prepared to not only hire an attorney, but serve him with a restraining order, but in the end, he signed the papers and left me alone. We were married only a short time and there were no children, so I was able to get the divorce done through a paralegal.

The divorce threats were just part of his emotional abuse, as was trying to prevent me from working, using the excuse of Sabbath breaking if I were scheduled on Sundays. He hated my therapist because not only was I seeing a woman, she wasn't part of the SS of the cult. It was through therapy that I gained the strength to finally get out of the abusive situation, and avoid making that mistake again.

Good for you, for getting rid of that guy.

forbiddencokedrinker Wrote:
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> I blame Mario for all these people with mushroom
> fears. Either that, or it is a below the surface
> discomfort with sex.


The sex thing crossed my mind, too... There are some mushrooms that look a little phallic!

As for your comments about your ex-wife, I think my husband could relate to your experiences. His ex did the same thing, to the point of serving him with divorce papers over Easter at my husband's dad's house. She was shocked when he actually decided to sign them and later, during a heated email exchange, admitted she never expected him to sign. The fact that she did that tells me that my husband was right to sign the papers. Anyone who bluffs about such a serious thing clearly has no respect for their partner. I'll always be grateful to her for being so foolish... But even if he hadn't met me, he'd be better off alone than stuck in that sick relationship.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/05/2012 07:56AM by knotheadusc.

That thread definitely gets into the crazy side of hosting.

From what I now understand about etiquette, no guest should ever feel obligated to eat food that he or she hates. The guest, however, IS obligated to simpley say "No thank you" without making a big shcpeal out of it.

See, this is why I like buffet cocktail parties with tons of appetizers. There's plenty of food to suit ALL tastes if you plan carefully. If you don't like it, you don't put it on your plate.

As for the husband who threatens to leave his wife over Eminem? He sounds like an immature jackass.

Itzpapalotl Wrote:
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> As for the husband who threatens to leave his wife
> over Eminem? He sounds like an immature jackass.

Yeah, you think someone with that mentality would absolutely dig Eminem.

I just can't handle the texture of cooked mushrooms (or the way they look or smell). I'll cook them for people who like them, like my son and daughter-in-law but I can't comprehend how anyone CAN like them.

Of course, when I was young and thoroughly gullible someone told me you get mushrooms by cutting up slugs. That may have a little bit to do with my tendency to vomit when I bite into one by mistake.

I don't like the texture of pears either -- but at least their flavor doesn't bother me. :)

Mine started when I was a little kid. I never liked the look of mushrooms and we lived in England, where toadstools grow like crazy! My sisters used to torment me by drawing shark teeth on mushrooms in my coloring books and telling me how poisonous they were. They would pick them and chase me in the yard. And my dad would try to force me to eat them at dinner.

I don't like the way they smell or look and their texture freaks me out. Fortunately for me, I don't freak out anymore when I see them like I did when I was little, but they do make me uncomfortable. I don't even like looking at pictures of them.

it is very common in utah for new husbands to start using this phrase with anything they don't want their wives to do. When we were first married, I would bet half of the other young couples in our ward would use this same line with everything from burning dinner to cheating on your spouse. It's speaks to the immature nature of so many that get married so young in utah.

It's troubling because these women are typically young with very young children and literally controlled by the husband, even in the seemingly good scenarios. How can they walk away as a young college drop out or with no career or training, no savings, one or more small children to look after... sad.

I would say "well, I guess we will find out if you really mean it! I don't do ultimatums, especially over trivial shit. If you would leave me for listening to music, I have no trust for how committed you are to me."

And I would buy both of us tickets to the concert.

If it were any form of "country western" music, I'd tell her to pack her saddle bags....

So lomg as its not Nickelback, the guy is a complete jerk.

Hahahahaha!!!!

Kidd Kradick calls Nickelback "wood-chopping rock" and parodies them all the time...

Oooo, the LDS church is all about the sanctity of eternal marriage, and how they have a superior understanding of the true nature of the eternal bond. But things like this show what a shallow load of crap that is. My spouse isn't perfect? Hit the eject button because he/she can be replaced.

that eternal marriage has an infinite number of ways to go wrong.

He said "That would be a marriage ender.". Promise? Maybe I'll try smoking tomorrow.

I can't believe he was SERIOUS about this.

Love means (next to) Nothing in LDS culture, it's all about conformance-compliance. From that standpoint, I 'understand' if he meant it, but I certainly DON'T AGREE.

The husband in the BbC post sounds immature and controlling. Unfortunately he's in a church that happily reinforces his controlling mind-set. He would probably be shocked and upset if his wife ever walked out on him.

With a husband who is that controlling and easily upset, I would be worried about the possiblility of physical violence at some point in the future.

The OP says he's mean to their kids, too... puts a negative spin on everything he says to them.

That babycenter thread really bothers me because it reminds me of my ex-husband - immature and controlling. One time, out of the blue, he told me he didn't like our dog that we'd had for two years, that he'd only agreed to get the dog because I wanted one, and I had to choose between him and the dog. After hours of discussion and him literally going to the bedroom to pout, I got angry and told him I'd take the dog over him, because at least the dog cleans up food that gets spilled on the floor, while he can't even pick up his own dirty clothes. We finally worked it out where the dog had to live outside - just because my ex-husband randomly decided he doesn't like dogs.
What is with these Utah Mormon boys? They're passive-aggressive, don't know how to say what they really think, repress all their feelings, and then blow up with an ultimatum and throw a tantrum like a 3-year-old.

Wow... I honestly don't know what I would do if my husband suddenly decided he hated our dogs. If he acted the way you describe your ex acting, I'd probably invite him to leave. My dogs are my babies.

We compromised for a while by keeping the dog outside, but eventually I wasn't willing to put up with his crap anymore. (It was a consistent pattern of behavior, not just this one event.) I got rid of him, but I still have my dog.

sexismyreligion Wrote:
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> I got rid of him, but I still have my dog.


And clearly, you made the right choice.