What questions should be added to the temple recommend interview (just for fun)??

Do you have any tattoos?
Do you have piercings?
Do you masturbate? (currently this is just an extension of the Law of Chastity)
Do you shop on Sundays?
Do you practice oral sex?

do you vote republican?

do you google anti-mormon stuff?

Do you think for yourself?


(Remember the statement that "when the profit has spoken, the thinking has been done"?)

Do you own anti-Mormon material, such as "Mormon Doctrine," the "General Discourses," or a replica of the original version of "The Book of Mormon."

...or "The History of the Church," or "Journal of Discourses," or certain issues of the Ensign, or past editions of the lesson manuals, or the Church Handbook of Instructions, or...

Clearly, the Mormon Church itself has no problem providing its own anti-mormon material!

..."Do you actually try to follow the teachings of Jesus by being kind, compassionate, loving, forgiving, and helping the poor?"

Actually, if they would ask this one, they should be able to eliminate all the others as extraneous.

..."If the prophet instructed you to kill an enemy of the Church, would you do it?" (This will help weed out those who are not truly faithful, and who therefore are not worthy to enter the temple.)

"Do you get turned on when I ask you sexual questions?"

"are you easily duped?"

"can you do mental gymnastics?"



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/04/2012 11:11PM by Lost Mystic.

for women: Do you buy your garments in the correct size and allow them to go to the knee or do you buy them too small and then wash them repeatedly in hot water to shrink them so you can still wear your miniskirts?

My old YW leaders used to do this, I heard one of them admit it. I was shocked when I found out garments were supposed to go the knee because some of theirs could not have come past upper thigh.

promptly fwd their names & emails to the mods so we can update their status.

If they're out, single, & wealthy, fwd them to Yours Truly.

Haha!

I thought for sure this was a comment by forbiddencokedrinker...

Then I saw your name and thought "oh yeah! Him too!"

The two of y'all need to crash some weddings! Hehe

I'm a she, but cool, lets crash some weddings!

haha, nevermind, I see who you were talking to now :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/04/2012 11:56PM by romy.

I'm starting to suspect I have a certain reputation.

Do you use your PH as an excuse for being an ass-hole?:

Have you EVER been over-bearing in the scope of a church calling, including spouse or parent?

Do you Respect people of different faiths/beliefs?

Do you discover & encourage the Best from others, in all ways, at all times, even if a comparison of gifts or abilities might favor them?

Do you resent giving 10% of your earnings to the church to do with it what they may?

Do you resent all of the time the church takes you away from your family?

Do you think it's wrong you can't ask any doctrinal or historical questions?

Is there anyone in your family (who are members) who have tried to destroy your life? Who are they?

Do you hate having VT's and HT's coming to your house and reporting back to the bishop?

Have you ever had a blessing that didn't come true? Do you question the Mormon religion because of it?

Do you ever wonder why the church keeps telling you to stay off of the internet unless you're going onto the church sites?

Do you think PH power is a load of BS?

Are you ever bothered by the fact that TSCC changes doctrines like other people change their undies....Oh! I mean garmies?
Do you wonder about the fact that in TSCC money is not the root of evil but the only method of salvation?
Does worshipping a child molester bother you?
Have you spent any time on Kolob this past year? If so, are you fully vaccinated against Christians?
Have you read the book "A Place Near Kolob?"
Do you watch re-runs of Battlestar Gallactica and think about TSCC? Are you bothered by the similarities between this tv show and TSCC since BG is a si-fi show?
Have you ever listened to a BYU professor? If so, do you fully understand that their teachings in no way reflect the doctrines of TSCC even Prof. Bott who is a Doctrinal Prof?
Do you wonder if the next change in doctrine will be this week or next week? Do you care?
What do you intend to do the keep up this phony image to protect the church? Will you lie/steal/kill for TSCC? If so, you must be Mitty.

Have you blocked all the channels with your satalite service except for the BYU channel? The crudeness of those other channels have no place in your home.

My brother and I once shared a home. He's always been a bit more successful then me, so it was his home, and I was renting a room from him to help him make the mortgage, and to give me a place to live cheep. Well, my brother had the playboy channel, so I blocked it on the TV in my room. Problem was, I soon figured out that even though I blocked it on the TV, since I knew the password, it did little good. I kept finding myself drawn to that channel out of curiosity, and feeling deeply ashamed afterwards. I didn't say anything to my bro, because he had already left the church, and it would be a problem, and I certainly did not tell the bish, because they already wanted me to move away from the evil apostate, and I was getting a really good deal.

Whole deal eventually ended after a year, when I moved to Florida, and got my own place.

For women: Being honest with your fellow man requires complete honesty, to include not wearing make-up. Do you refrain from wearing make-up day and night?

Do you refrain from the use of all hair removal devices, such as razors, electric or manual, as well as chemical depilating creams?

Do you practice dishonesty by coloring your hair?

For men: Do you wear a hair-piece to prevent your fellow man from knowing that you have male-pattern baldness?

Do you practice dishonesty by wearing a beard to hide scars from say from a motorcycle accident?

Do you wear a bra 1 size smaller than your normal size, so as to prevent boob envy from other, less blessed sisters?

For single men: Do you refrain from inserting materials such as potatoes or carrots in the groin area of your garments, so as to not arouse the attention of your fellow men and women?

Bow your head and say "Yes"

the bishop actually said to you, "Do you have an questions you'd like to ask me?"

Do you study the scriptures?...are you bothered by the verse

Mormon CHAPTER 8 Verse 32
Yea, it shall come in a day when there shall be churches built up that shall say: Come unto me, and for your money you shall be forgiven of your sins.


So do you sustain even T.S. Monson when he rides in his $900k bullet proof Limo?

pic: http://www.wbur.org/files/2011/12/AP11082509083-e1324265608765.jpg

woops here is the right picture
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hgSzQUdgJco/Ti3dKWN7hsI/AAAAAAAABkc/RuxGqxNQWiA/s1600/IMG_9853-2.JPG

Anonofthis:

The scripture MORMON 8:32 references the Topical Guide and says: "Church of Devil."

Enough said!

1) Do you make a conscious daily effort to alienate those of your immediate and extended family who have chosen to investigate the truth claims of the LDS church and found it NOT to be what it claims to be???

2) Do you send your kids to "Mormon Prom" so they won't have to mingle with other kids their own age and learn about the wonderful diversity that sharing different ideas and ideals can foster and aid in showing tolerance to those of varying beliefs?

Or so it seems to me...

Do you truly accept that as your Bishop/StakePresident this interview is The Same as being personally interviewed by Jesus Christ?

And do you personally accept as if it were from Jesus Christ himnself, any counsel given you by your Priesthood Leaders?