If you've ever experienced a lot of prejudice from the Mormon society, I was curious how do you, or have kept, yourself from becoming bitter and judgemental as they are?

I've become as judgemental and bitter towards Mormons as they were at first to me, and I feel sick inside. I feel like I'm dying inside from all if this hatred I have for them.

How do you deal with it, and keep yourself from becoming like them?

Laugh at them when possible.......laughter is the best medicine.

The Second Agreement
Don't Take Anything Personally
Become immune to poison
The whole world can gossip about you,and if you don't take it personally, you are immune. Immunity to poison in the middle of hell is the gift of the Second Agreement
From: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Remember who you are:
"The individual has always had to struggle to resist the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."

--Nietzsche

"Don't let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace."

And find the laughter! Enjoy your life. Be secure in who you are.

When I start feeling like this too much, and it does happen, I think about all the time I'm wasting when I could be doing something I love. That is when I usually start a new art piece. Find something that sparks your creativity and do it. It's soothing to your soul.

Surround yourself with positive people who enjoy life, laugh heartily, accept you how you are, and walk beside you when you need it. The things of Mormonism become strangely dim in the light of real genuine friendships.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 05/05/2012 02:10AM by suckafoo.

suckafoo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Surround yourself with positive people who enjoy
> life, laugh heartily, accept you how you are, and
> walk beside you when you need it. The things of
> Mormonism become strangely dim in the light of
> real genuine friendships.

AND I want to add that an exmo group is great support. And the power of truth is so healing. Yes, enjoying life, laughing heartily and being accepted is something we all need and didn't get from TSCC.

I find that if I get my needs met in other ways socially and creatively, it tends to help a lot.There is something to surrendering to being the black sheep at times that has helped me Owning my bitterness sometimes helps, but then working that through over and over and finding artistic outlets to vent the rage and/or talking it through with someone who can listen.

I sometimes make jokes in a friendly way like "I am going to the lowest kingdom of heaven and I am okay with not having kids for eternity, I prefer to do art and create things for eternity."

Another thing I say is: "I am just not up for all the work it takes to even try to be perfect and I can't handle the stress, I am definitely not a heavenly Ivy Leaguer." Some of these things I think has them think about their views a bit further.

I focus on connecting on things with people who share a common interest. I don't try to make them leave the church. I don't try to make myself be around them all the time or even most of the time. I meet my needs and build my connections with them around that.

And oddly enough I think just working to be Christlike so to speak, not that I am particularly into Jesus, but that general embodiment of just not necessarily trying to make them accept me and treating them kindly even if they don't accept me.

I have a lot of compassion and there is an element of a metaphorical 'forgive them father for they know not what they do.' I feel hurt plenty. I feel angry, but in my best, I sometimes just give them room to judge me and feel what they feel. And I think at a certain point I have stopped making myself small for them, so then I don't resent them as much.

Having support groups of other ex-Mormons helps me feel more lucky with my life and friendships. I then don't resent them for making me an outsider so much. Doing my art helps not only through the creative time, but then I find I love doing it and would rather do it than a lot of things and that helps me not wish I had the community so much because I get alone time and need the time I have to pour into such things.

But then also I can share my art with different Mormons. It is a language we can share and we can share food. I find our 'common ground' and then I end up feeling sorry for them rather than judgmental of them.

Finding friends that love me and can hear what I have to say feels amazing, then I start to feel grateful that I am 'locked out instead of locked in' (which is a rough Virgina Woolf quote)

'As you grow older, you don't "Lose" friends, but you do learn who your true friends are'

I think it's fine to feel disrespectful toward those who treat you disrespectfully. But eventually feels more natural to expect a warthog or a rattler to show their natures and it doesn't do any good to wish they'd change. What I'm saying it that I took comfort in lowering my expectations, avoiding toxic people and situations, and expecting mormon rudeness when it's part of their belief system. Brainwahsed people can't usually shed their programming and we can't expect that of them.

WE certainly did experience a lot of prejudice from Mormons after living in Layton Utah for over 4 yrs. I couldn't wait to leave. The women were so cold toward me. Treated me like I did not exist. My kids were of no concern to them...no nice pleasantries at soccer games or the PTA. They just walked passed us. I thought..."How can a group people just act like they hate you when the only difference is choice of religion?" So we weathered that storm and left thank gosh.

Then unfortunately my youngest got involved with a group of kids after graduating from HS. The Mormon girl from HS introduced all these other kids.....tons of them....like 25 lovebombers. IT was awful. It took awhile before she fell for it all. The guy she met was a Jack Mormon. Well, she married him in '04 and converted '07. I know she struggled with doing it but then with all his family pressure she did.

I have extreme "dislike" for the Mormons....first for lying to my daughter and then for all the inaccurate things they say about the Bible and all the weird Temple rituals that they now have my daughter engaged in. My grandson was born into it and I have more sadness for him-age 3- than any adult. I will never be mean to Mormons like they were to me, but I will never encourage any person to "hang out" with them since we know their real motives.

These days I just keep hoping she will see through them. She had a former faith that she was totally fine with. She knows when something is said that doesn't seem right to her. She may come around. For now, she is still in the love struck stage. Hubby knows best.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 05/05/2012 01:23PM by honestone.