The PB posts always interest me because, when I was young, I really, truly thought they were a spiritual map for a person's life. Now that I know better, I keep mine around to remind me how destructive early conditioning in the morg can be.

Here's the text of my PB as “revealed” through J. Berkely Larsen Jr, the patriarch in the Marrietta GA stake. I was given this blessing at the age of 17, and after 10 minutes of chatting with the patriarch in his living room with my mom attending. My father was excommunicated for infidelity at the time and felt he should not be there so “the spirit would be present”. I have replaced my name with my RFM moniker, and added personal insights in parentheses. I have not corrected the spelling or grammar.

“Brother Truthseeker, at your request, I lay my hands upon your head and give your a patriarchal blessing. Truthseeker, you are of the tribe of Ephraim, and the great blessing that were pronounced his head are yours by right of inheritance because your are a literal descendant (I was trying to be ultra tbm and this really made me feel very important).

The lord is very pleased with the pattern that you have established for your life and for the goal that you have now set (I had just told him how I enjoyed seminary and planned on a mission). If you will continue on the paths that you have started, you will be eminently successful. You have expressed a desire to go on a mission. This will certainly be your priviledge. If you will make it a matter of prayer and study and prepare yourself before you go, you will find this mission the most enjoyable of all periods. Being in the service of your father in heaven on a full time basis, you will grow closer to him than at any time of your life. You will feel the influence of the spirit and you will be a powerful voice for truth. You wil be sought out by those that recognize your spirit (never happened). You will be able to teach them and they will come to a knowledge of the truth. (I went and it was the worst 21 months of my life, the day I left my mission was a HUGE relief)

I bless you Truthseeker that you will be protected from harm or accident and also from evil (I think the protection from evil part my qualify as irony because I was still imbedded in the morg). You will return from your mission a wiser, stronger and in every way better man than when you leave (this is one part I totally agree with).

Now, Truthseeker, in the pursuit of the things of this life, be diligent. Don't be frivolous. Exert yourself. Stretch yourself. Go beyond your norm. You have great potential and you will be a successful man. Your life will be profitable to you. You will be handsomely rewarded for the labors expended. If you pay an honest tithing, the lord will pour out blessing in abundance upon you. Make it a matter of prayer and you will be led to a worthy young lady that you will be able to take to house of the lord and therein be sealed for time and eternity. It will be your priviledge to be the father of a strong, healthy and large family (we have 3 kids, but they are healthy!). Your children need to be taught when they are young, as you were taught while you were young (nope, they are getting the truth). Impress upon them who they are, that they are in fact children of our father in heaven. Impress upon them the priviledge that they have of being born in the church, of being born under the covenant (no thanks, I'm teaching that everyone is born equal, and not born into situations based on their efforts in an imagined pre-existence). Cherish them and love them. They shall grow up in your footsteps and be a joy and a comfort to you.

I bless you with wisdom. I bless you with the spirit of discernment (thanks it really helped me see through the morg BS). As you are called to many offices and callings in this great church, you will know the spirit of those that you are working with and you will be sensitive to their needs (not interested, the best “calling” I had was my last, financial clerk – away from the sheeple and privy to the corporate side of the morg, what an eye opener). You will be able to help and counsel and guide them. I bless you with strength. I bless you with health. I bless you that your life will be pleasant and joyous and that you will live a long and happy life (my life IS much happier now that I am out of the morg, as for long life, we'll see). If you will obey the commandments that the lord has set here for us, you will come forth in the morning of the first resurrection (oh well, I blew that – good news is Joe said we'd kill ourselves to get into the telestial kingdom, so I'm covered). These blessings I seal upon your head by the authority of the holy melchizedek priesthood,as patriarch, in the name of jesus christ. Amen.

J. Berkely Larsen, Jr. Patriarch
Marrietta Georgis Stake of Zion”

How did you get a copy of my patriarchal blessing???

It's mine. It's unique and it's the only one like it. It's impossible for you to have it. God made it just for me.



HA HAHA HA HAHAHA!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/05/2012 03:51PM by blueorchid.

I'm with blueorchid here, this sounds very familiar--some of the exact same wording in mine.

I remember not feeling as special as my sibs because mine didn't say that, "Satan desires you." I didn't feel as valient. How effed up is that?