That is something I am working on since I repeatedly find myself with someone saying something that I do not believe in in different settings. I am working on polite ways of addressing things and steering the conversation in other ways.

I would love to hear any thoughts/comments on how people have 'come out' to coworkers or friends of the family, etc... whether tactfully or less tactfully and how the reactions were as well as the ultimate results in that connection.

Thoughts/Comments?

Unless they know me from way back or know my family, I just say that I am not a Mormon. They don't need to know the details in most cases. If a need comes up, I can tell them then. As far as people who know I used to be a member, I tell them on a need to know basis if it comes up and I tell them what they need to know. I have no need to send out announcements to everyone that I left the church for reasons X,Y,Z and have resigned my membership. It is really none of their business.

I generally don't. Mormons, as well as everyone else in a certain mindset, are unable to see the world from someone else's point of view. Some people may have different experiences, but I have found it to be an utter waste of time to try to explain it to Mormons. Kind of like trying to teach a pig to sing....

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend I've known for 35 years. I told him I was an apostate and the truth about Joseph Smith, DNA, Mountain Meadows, etc, etc.....I really didn't see that he was comprehending anything I was saying. I don't know why I even tried. I've been out of the cult for a decade and it is still just crazy making to try to explain any of it to a Mormon. My Mormon sister asked me why I left and I show her the notes on the bogus B of A and she agrees with me that there are "some inconsistancies" and then she just keeps on doing what she has always done, stick her head in the sand, bow her head and say YES to the cult ! It is more than frustrating. It is futile to have these conversations. Go back and remember the Mormon that you once were. How easy would it have been to convince you that the cult is hogwash? My own beloved son couldn't convince me until I was ready to hear it. It took two years and finally curious about an email going around denouncing a certain book, I picked up, "Leaving the Saints" at a bookstore. (actually my nevermo hubby did because I was too chicken to actually go and buy the book myself. You know, not wanting to be seen buying "anti Mormon" literature.) I read the book and it all made perfect sense,now Martha Beck is my hero next to Erik. The light goes on in different ways for different people.

Past conversations on the subject did not go well with others, to say the least. The research suggests that there has to be a remapping of the brain with the new information and this cannot be done in one conversation. And for most it cannot be done in a million conversations. ( Research suggests that only 5% of populations raised in a given religion are able to denounce it as false.)

Not talking religion or politics seems to be a good adage to follow, I learned the hard way.

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend I've known for 35 years. I told him I was an apostate and the truth about Joseph Smith, DNA, Mountain Meadows, etc, etc.....I really didn't see that he was comprehending anything I was saying. I don't know why I even tried. I've been out of the cult for a decade and it is still just crazy making to try to explain any of it to a Mormon. My Mormon sister asked me why I left and I show her the notes on the bogus B of A and she agrees with me that there are "some inconsistancies" and then she just keeps on doing what she has always done, stick her head in the sand, bow her head and say YES to the cult ! It is more than frustrating. It is futile to have these conversations. Go back and remember the Mormon that you once were. How easy would it have been to convince you that the cult is hogwash? My own beloved son couldn't convince me until I was ready to hear it. It took two years and finally curious about an email going around denouncing a certain book, I picked up, "Leaving the Saints" at a bookstore. (actually my nevermo hubby did because I was too chicken to actually go and buy the book myself. You know, not wanting to be seen buying "anti Mormon" literature.) I read the book and it all made perfect sense,now Martha Beck is my hero next to Erik. The light goes on in different ways for different people.

Past conversations on the subject did not go well with others, to say the least. The research suggests that there has to be a remapping of the brain with the new information and this cannot be done in one conversation. And for most it cannot be done in a million conversations. ( Research suggests that only 5% of populations raised in a given religion are able to denounce it as false.)

Not talking religion or politics seems to be a good adage to follow, I learned the hard way.

I don't. Anyone could pick up in a conversation with me that I am not mormon. Making it an issue would be a lot of steps backward.

Feeling you need to bring up your religion is just too mormon of a thing to do.

I did notify my tbm family at the time through email. That's it. If anybody asks I'm not a mormon. And I couldn't care less what my mormon friends think, I only meet them on facebook anyway. I'm guessing everybody knows by now though.

Some people such as close friends and family do need to be told something because they will notice and ask. Like I said above, tell them as much as you want them to know on a need to know basis. As far as other people, I simply do not see the need to send out announcementsexplainig your decision and feelings about the church.If and when it comes up, deal with it. A lot of people you used to know ,and that includes some relatives, will probably never find out and probably really don't care that much what you do, think and believe.I wouldn't lie, but what is the point of sending out mass emails?

Last Sunday I introduced myself to a few at an open congregation church this way:

Hi, I am Pat a recovering Mormon

maybe I did it to get a laugh
maybe I did it to explain my large smile
maybe I did it to say Be gentle to me

That big ole cross inside certainly put me quiet for a while. I felt better that it is just an empty cross. I sang loud, songs I did not know, and felt good.
Free breakfast afterward too

Pat

Hmmm not quite on topic, need more coffee, sry

Drinking alcohol or coffee, and loud laughter and evil speaking of the Lord's annointed are usually good clues.

Seriously, 2/3rds or more of mormons are inactive; most of those quietly disappear. The rest, well it depends on how assertive their family/friends are in making sure we all stay happy mormons.

I never made a formal declaration; I faded away, and so conversations were no longer from a mormon perspective, (even possibly anti).

Apathy about it to most people. As in, "Whatever. Hey, how 'bout those <insert sports team here>."