Looks like there has been some confusion again and we have a lot of new people so to clear things up -

Susan I/S - That is me. I work for Eric/ExMormon.Org
Sue - Works for the Foundation and does the October gigs.
SusieQ - Poster on the RfM board.

For the record, I didn't call SuzieQ a troll. I asked if anyone had insight about it.

No, you implied it.

Sue her. /

bona dea Wrote:
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> No, you implied it.

Reasonable to imply I think.

So you and Susie Q are NOT the same poster????


To quote Emily Latella (from old school SNL-Gilda Radner)...



".....never mind...."

I am SusieQ#1. That is how I am registered, with an email, and how I always post. This is specific to keep the names straight.

Not everyone sees the world the same way. Not everyone is going to like what they read here or find it helpful.
I'll present my perspective and suggestions at the time, take it or leave it.
It's just ideas. It's just responses from experiences I've had also.
Don't like my advice, or suggestions, for goodness sake, ignore it. I ignore what doesn't work for me.
That's just common sense.

My view of life and how to deal with experiences is coming from decades and decades of living and experiences as a convert, a Mormon and a former Mormon.

I do it "MY WAY" --- there is no obligation for anyone else unless it works for you.

I'll comment on whatever I find interesting at the time just like everyone else does.
It is not personal. That's a biggie with me. Never, ever take anything personal. Other people's lives are not about me, and visa versa.

This is the Internet. It's a rough and tumble place, and some people find it useless and others find it valuable.

We are mostly strangers reading words on a page with very little to go on.

So we all do the best we know how at the time....

"Never, ever take anything personal"

But one does have to put themselves 'in the shoes' of the original poster in other to understand him/her if one wants to reply, especially at a momento when the OP is hurting. Not only thinking of how we have gone beyond what he/she is going through but thinking especially about where he/she is at the moment when they are posting. And when the OP is hurting it is a time when things are taken personal. It's human nature.

quebec Wrote:
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> "Never, ever take anything personal"
>
> But one does have to put themselves 'in the shoes'
> of the original poster in other to understand
> him/her if one wants to reply, especially at a
> momento when the OP is hurting. Not only thinking
> of how we have gone beyond what he/she is going
> through but thinking especially about where he/she
> is at the moment when they are posting. And when
> the OP is hurting it is a time when things are
> taken personal. It's human nature.


My view is that part of so called: "human nature" is going to work against us and sabotage our ability to find our own inner peach and joy.
This is not just my idea. Far from it. It's a long established part of the wisdom of life.
I will defer to this author.

see:
The Second Agreement
Don't Take Anything Personally
Become immune to poison
The whole world can gossip about you,and if you don't take it personally, you are immune. Immunity to poison in the middle of hell is the gift of the Second Agreement
From: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

You gain a huge amount of freedom when you take nothing personally. No spell can affect your regardless of how strong it may be. And if you life without fear, if you love, you will be happy with your life. Don't Take Anything Personally Embrace Your Freedom from The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Even the opinions you have about yourself are not necessarily true; therefore, you don't need to take whatever you hear in your own mind personally. Release Self Judgment Don't Take Anything Personally From: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Yes but it is a process. It doesn't happen over time.
You can give such advice but only after you've first started by showing a lot of compassion and understanding to begin with. No one goes through things at the same rythm.

"But one does have to put themselves 'in the shoes' of the original poster in other to understand him/her if one wants to reply"

Not even slightly true. There is no rule that one must have empathy, or think like the poster, or try to understand the poster. I can reply however I want. So can you.

snb Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "But one does have to put themselves 'in the
> shoes' of the original poster in other to
> understand him/her if one wants to reply"
>
> Not even slightly true. There is no rule that one
> must have empathy, or think like the poster, or
> try to understand the poster. I can reply however
> I want. So can you.

I don't know where people get these rules they come up with! I agree w/ snb.
We all reply as we want.
The idea of all this "one true way" stuff seems to be hard to ditch when getting out of the Mormon way of thinking.:-)

If it's out of order, against the "rules" of the board, the admins will handle it.

I am not talking about rules but about love.

...I mean, she is just trying to trick you.

Oh damn, I have no idea now.

To add to the confusion, I am going to start referring to my latest crush as Sue-Ann.

What about SusieQ#1?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/09/2012 09:20AM by DNA.

SusieQ is awesome. She brings a good perspective to the board. She pulls people back into reality and tries to be practical in her thought process. I credit her for helping me break the bitterness cycle.

That is certainly true of some of her posts.

Others are surprising cold hearted. I've pointed it out on some posts. When someone posts who was hurting and looking for some support, and Susie has come in and without offering any support at all, or even showing any recognition of what the original poster was posting for, she has jumped in to tell them how they are doing it all wrong. She then tells them what they should be doing (which is how she does it), and comes off sounding like she's doing PR for the church mixed with don't worry be happy stuff.

If I was a Steve Benson type, I would have archived such posts just so that I could use it as proof right now. I don't spend that much time on it. Nor is it that important for me. But I know that it happens, and I've pointed it out in the moment.

People can love her all they want. Sometimes she posts good stuff. But don't paint her as a feel good saint. Keep some perspective of the times that she way over does it in unkind ways. And times that she sounds too much like an apologist.

Yes, she can be massively hurtful, and intentionally so on some occasions. Most of the time though it is all sweetness and light facade.

"It is not personal. That's a biggie with me. Never, ever take anything personal. Other people's lives are not about me, and visa versa." -SusieQ

Boy, this place is full of very personal experiences. People are baring their souls, and some flippant comments like grow a spine, or let them do their mormon thing ARE hurtful. Denying that reveals a heartlessness that I am glad is not in me.
Mormons can be very damaging, and I will not let them do their thing when it is hurting me. Oh, but I should just shed it like a duck suit. Right, just grow a spine and tolerate abuse with a smile.

What a load of bullshit.

Especially the frequency of comments about never seeing some behavior amongst mormons. Isn't that nice how one personal experience invalidates corroborated group experiences?

And another Susie'ism that is used many times, including in this thread is:

"Don't like my advice, or suggestions, for goodness sake, ignore it. I ignore what doesn't work for me.
That's just common sense."


That is Susie speak for, If I self-righteously dance right through someone else’s pain and pleas for help, tossing Rose petals...

And if I tell people that I'm the one that knows the right way to be an ex-Mormon, and that they ar
e doing it all wrong...

And if I say that questioning, and disturbed about the doctrine, church members should read the LDS scriptures and get their Bishops perspective on it, so that they have all sides of the issue....

And if I say that whatever negative things you see with Mormonism never ever happened in any ward I ever lived in time and time again like clockwork...

Then you all should just pretend that I don’t say it! And I'll just keep happily doing it!

You shouldn’t point it out. You shouldn’t try to hold a mirror up to it hoping that she'll see how it comes across and stop.

You should just ignore it. It’s the ONLY reasonable thing to do. Just ask Susie.

Just for the record, when I was first here, she seemed like a breath of fresh air among all the negativity. I even emailed with her and told her so.

That was at the beginning when I wasn’t ready for so much negativity. I was still in the morg mindset of, “we don’t talk that way about the Lords anointed.”

After a while, seeing Rose petals tossed on other people’s pain and anger got old. Then when I didn’t need negativity about the church to be moderated for my psyche, and I could see that she was inappropriately rude and condescending (in a happy chipper sounding way) to some people who were only looking for support. It all got very old.

This conversation is very serious. I think we should all feel super bad because you two feel wronged.

aww... :(

Seriously though, you guys are whining about a poster who is not nice all of the time. I'm literally laughing out loud.

Your posts have been incredibly cold lately.

I'll take it you are a Susie groupie snb, and consider your jab accordingly.

I do understand how she gets a lot of love from her entourage of followers, and that tends to make any critics get lost in all the adoring posts.

I’m thinking that saying that my very specific posts are just “whining” is meant to blunt them and paint them as unworthy of consideration. Kind of similar to the church and their use of “anti-Mormon.”

If you had made a post that took any effort at all, used any cognition to formulate a counter argument, it would have been useful perhaps. But just a quick jab and a laugh just seems like groupie behavior and offers nothing.

suckafoo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> SusieQ is awesome. She brings a good perspective
> to the board. She pulls people back into reality
> and tries to be practical in her thought process.
> I credit her for helping me break the bitterness
> cycle.


wow..thanks... sometimes what I say...... works!:-)
Yup, I'm big on owning your own power and not allowing other people's behavior and opinions to destroy your personal happiness and inner peace! If they are not what you need, kick them out of your head and thinking! :-)

Incredibly.. Sexy?
Intelligent and Seasoned?
Individually Sensational? (One.. singular sensation.. dadadadadumda..)
Ingeniously Stalwart?
Intriguingly Splendid?

Okay. I think I wore out dictionary.com. That's all I can come up with this early in the morning.

WELL THAT'S WHAT I HEARD!

Timothy

"Never compare your journey with someone else's. Your journey is YOUR journey not a competition." (author unknown)

If what I share doesn't resonate with you, or what you read from someone else doesn't help you with what you need, ignore it.
There is no one true opinion anymore folks!


Everyone has a different opinion about how to deal with stuff.
Be smart and choose what works for you and ignore the rest.


If you don't like the quotes I use from well known world leaders and current day teachers, ignore them.

Find what works for you. Internalize the principles of behavior that bring you the greatest happiness, inner peace and joy in your process leaving the LDS Church and your tribe.

Do it your way.

How does that work?

Timothy