The Tom Perry mall thread reminded me of all the stories I've heard about church authorities traveling or living civilian-style, and being approached by someone with a question or two. In fact, the part I liked most about the Tom Perry story was that our hero recognized another mall patron was waiting "for an autograph" or something. Personally, I have bumped into a few mormon leaders in my time, and am always a bit confused at the fact that they seem to be wandering alone in a mall, an airport (with first-class tickets, no doubt), or a grocery store.

Here we have these dudes cruising around, claiming to be anointed Apostles of Christ The Lord. Still, they find themselves in need of a snack or a new set of cufflinks, and they respond like the rest of us. For a time, I worked at the Nordstrom in Crossroads Mall. That's probably where I saw more GA's than any other place. And all the Nordstrom workers had a story or two about one (or more) of the brethren.

In all my brushes with celebrity, I assume that the famous person does not need another plebian bothering them while they try to shop, eat, etc. I have approached a few, and even spent 10 minutes or so chatting up one of my favorite NBA coaches, but I usually leave the folks be.

Now I wonder how I would react to the sight of a lonely GA, relaxing in a mall, clearly inviting me to help them pass the time.

So, what would I say?

I know I couldn't calmly raise all my concerns about church history without a little preparation. I'd stumble over myself trying to get all my information straight, and keep my emotions down.

I might just keep it to this: "Excuse me for bothering you, but aren't you, B. Blank Blankety, of the Quorum Yaddely Bop?"
"I am. What is your name?"
"Duder. I just have one question for you."
"Sure. Ask away, my friend."
""What's the deal with no more Ward Road Shows? That was a good program."

Maybe I wouldn't say anything after all. What would you say?

While there are some people out there with enough guts or energy to actually bring up questions with the GA in a quick meeting like that, I am more of a people person, and I'd ask more personal questions to find out more about them and how they are doing. If I was asked about my attendance or testimony, I'd bring up my concerns, but it's not my style to be confrontational without first establishing a bit of rapport.

I would welcome the chance to sit down with any church leader and have a heart-to-heart. Honestly, I hardly care about church history. I am only mildly interested in discussing official church policies. What I would like them to know is my story.

I would like every leader of the church who relishes in those stories of individuals and families whose lives have been "improved" by some "inspired" church leader, activity or policy to acknowledge that there are also many of us who have suffered negative consequences of placing faith in the same leaders, activities and policies. Mine is just a tiny story of heartache. There are those who must face absolute tragedy because the leaders of the church perpetuate this notion that God wants them to keep lying to us.

One thing is for certain- they really just want to lead a normal life and to go shopping without being hassled.

However, if the opportunity arose, I suppose that if I had a chance to openly ask one question, it would have to be this-

Since there is such an abundance of difficult and embarrasing information that calls the churches claims into question, do you sir, think that your followers really believe, or do their temple covenants (and social status) force them to agree with the church?

I'm sure that many of the Q12/FP want to lead a normal life....

But the fact is after you declare that you are a "Special Witness of Christ" and then do not discourage the flock from thinking you've walked and talked with Jesus, you have surrendered any claim to a 'normal life'.

Sometimes I forget how special they are supposed to be.

Of course, if they brought anything new to the spiritual banquet table besides reminders of duty and remembering the old stories...

I honestly believe Tom Perry (whom I have met) doesn't know about the skeletons in the closet. Some of the GAs do know, and may be able to continue to justify themselves in some way or another, but some of the GAs are TBM simpletons (for lack of a more PC term). Wirthlin was the same way. They grew up under an umbrella and were fed on FPRs. They believe what they believe, and don't want to hear about the "truth" as exMos know it. I don't think he lied. I have worked directly with military general officers, and there is a sort of willing deception by the underlings to keep the boss happy, and that often means not giving them bad news. If they don't know about the skeletons in the closet, it's not because they're lying. They may not have ever been told, or if they were told, it was by the apologists and suck-ups who sugar coat the news and spin it to something positive. I think the same thing goes on in the church with the GAs. So, I tend to cut them some slack.

On the other hand, if they DO know the truth and continue to perpetuate the lies and myths, they should be nailed (figuratively) to the wall.

I already know what the responses would be. And plus, I don't need to surround myself with any more mormons/evil.

I don't care what their social standing is. Mormons have proven themselves to be people that I don't want in my life any more than I absolutely have to.

I saw Richard Hinckley walk into Best Buy. The funniest thing about it was watching him doing a quick scan & pause for a litmus test of the store to see if he was going to be recognized & approached, and then repeatedly check to see if anyone had recognized him along the way as he went through the store. I give myself credit for having recognized him & watched him, and not allowing him to see that he had been recognized. In my estimation he was dripping with arrogance. saying anything to him would only affirm his assumption that he is part of MORmON royalty, which royalty is just CRAP any way in my book.

I didnt want to say anything to him at the time. I'd have to be in the right mood. Maybe I should have started wandering around kind of following him, & while staring at merchandise or off into space & repeatedly making quips over & over out of the blue seemingly to myself in my best Gordon Hinckley voice.

"Its not doctrinal",

I dont know that we teach that! "

"Thats the miracle of it"

"Dont pay attention to those flicks of history"

& (My personal Fav) "Jesus Smith! "

& (his own publicly spouted lie) "We have nothing to hide!"

I dont know if the dumb ass would even get it!

I have done stuff like that before.
One time a dorky MORmON ticked me off at a buffet by loudly blabbing away in a churchy conversation with the missionary that were there, that ironically in large part made fun of another newer missionary..... for the way he had sparingly dished up his plate. The control issues really set me off.
I did nt want to talk to these jerks either, at least not directly.

SO while sitting at my table eating, I started reciting tidbits of a previous conversation that he had just had with the Mish that had been there, and then interjected bits of the temple ceremony into it.

The guy literally ran out of the place when I got to the "health in the navel, marrow in the bone" part. It was funny & it was the perfect approach for that circumstance.

Right after *Dick* Hinckley walked through Best Buy,
Kyle Korver came in. It was really interesting because hes a guy who had a REAL reason to think he was famous. Much less arrogance displayed! & although somewhat cautious, much more ready to deal with any fans although he obviously hoped he would not be bothered. I really wanted to say " Hi Ashton" because he really did look like Ashton Kutcher, but I just left him alone.

I would ask him if he was lost. Then I'd ask him if he knew where his caretaker was. Then I'd probably give him a lolly for being such a brave boy.

But sounds like they have a lot of time on their hands. Perhaps when one makes it into the Boyz Club, they have a few meetings a week, a couple conferences and Christmas shows, and the rest of the time they just doddle around. Kinda feel sorry for the old farts, I mean, their whole life giving all that time, talent and dough to a fake church. But now they have POWER and CELEBRITY!

;-D

"Hey, Big Boy! Lookin' for a good time?". ... something like that I suppose.

Ron

and I can say every single one of them acted as if I was shoving a stick up their backside. So I can only think that in a casual setting they would rather be asked about the latest pro ball game than ANYTHING Mormon. The ones I've met seem to hate being asked religious questions or advice, especially during an appropriate Mormon meeting. Go figure.