Posted by:
Utahnomo
(
)
Date: September 27, 2010 04:20PM
So there are a couple of posts here today that talk about people feeling like they have to do something but don't really want to. I have been thinking about this for a while and thought I would see what the board has to say about this.
One of the big principles of mormonism is that everyone in the church is subject to a higher up. Members to bishops to stake presidents, to area reps, to GA's, to the 12 to the first presidency to the "profit". All thinking is done for everyone at every level except the "big dog" which is one of the main things that makes this a cult. When one of the higher ups speaks, that is the law, unless he is trumped by someone higher than him. Everyone in the church is expected to simply follow blindly whatever they are told to do without questioning. Blind faith is the expected norm. If you question anything at all you are an apostate.
Logical thinking, reasoning, and decision making is discouraged by all levels. In fact, what I have discovered about myself is that when I left the morg I had to learn to do these things and it took some time. One poster today said that his DW demands that he go to church to help with the kids but he doesn't want to. You see, under normal circumstances for normal people all you would have to do is reason your way through a question like that and you would have an answer. For example, you would ask yourself. Why is she demanding that I go to church to help with the kids? What is her ultimate motive for this demand? Why is she demanding I do something I clearly don't want to do? What will it accomplish if I do as she is demanding? Who will it benefit? What are the pros and cons to both sides of this matter? In the end, as you reason your way through that issue you can come to some concise conclusions that will give you the answer as to what you will do.
For me in the above scenario I would simply tell DW that I do not like going to church, and in fact I dislike it so much that it makes me feel uncomfortable so if she wants help with the kiddies leave them home. If she chooses not to leave them home, well that is her choice and I would not allow her to bully me or make me feel guilty for her choice. It is simple reasoning really, and once you have reasoned it out and made your decision, as long as your decision is logical and fair, well then the ball is in her court. I suspect she is doing this to get him to go to church and leaving the kids home with him is not an option because her real motivation for doing it is to get him there.
Using guilt to coerce people to do what is wanted is one of the main tools used by the morg and most people are so accustomed to accepting that type of manipulation from the morg that when it is used on them by others they simply do not see it for what it really is.
So I guess what I am trying to say here is that when I was in the morg I was emasculated. I was deprived of my power to make decisions and think logically. Of course, I allowed myself to be emasculated, but I was stripped of my spirit, my individuality, and my logical thinking and decision making nonetheless. Just as a meek man is emasculated by a domineering wife, I was when I gave the church the power to take these rights away from me.
When I took this right back for myself I had to learn how to do it because I didn't have someone telling me how to think and what to do about every situation in my life. It has been so empowering to learn these new skills and implement them in my life. In so many ways since leaving the morg I feel like a new man, but this one area has really been wonderful for me.