So the elder I fell in love with told another elder to give me a message " tell her that I care about her a lot and that I love her to death"...would this mean he does love me in the way that I love him? or what? I kind of told him in a letter how I feel towards him.
He is set apart as a missionary and cannot come within arms reach. He cannot proclaim his love for you until after he is released when he gets home, lest he be chastized and transferred. It is not uncommon for former missionaries to go back to their ares to find that special someone.
What you could do is ask for his home address and write to him as soon as he goes home. Once he is no longer bound by mission rules he will be able to fully express his true feelings.
That's how I would do it, your mileage may vary. If there is a love between the both of you, then I wish you the very best, and don't let distance stand between you. Real love must not be abandoned.
He will baptize me He will hold me in his arms And he will baptize me Right in front of everyone And it will set me free When he looks into my eyes And he sees just how much I love being baptized
I believe in god, not the church. I wouldn't mind my kids being raised into the lds church, hey as long as they don't become drug addicts, gang members, or whatever as long as they become good people.
We're you baptized for the reasons he wanted to baptize you. More than likely he wanted a statistic. He has written home telling his folks that he shared the gospel with someone prepared from the foundation of the earth to hear the word.
No telling what he is thinking, but if he is like any of my companions were, he has an aversion to girls in the field, and has his life mapped out in his mind once he returns home.
Why are you asking on this site? How converted are you?
He in no moment told me :Hey! get baptized for me! I got baptized because I wanted to be apart of something different. Of how converted I am, I don't think much at all haha because I haven't gone to church for like 12 weeks. I only go when I feel like it or when I have time.
koolgirl20 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > So the elder I fell in love with told another > elder to give me a message " tell her that I care > about her a lot and that I love her to > death"
...would this mean he does love me in the way that I love him?
NO.
or what?
If he loved you he could have said, "Tell her I love her." Instead he says, "I care about her a lot." "Love her to death" means, well it doesn't mean he is in love with you. At all.
Sorry. He is not in a position to pursue those feelings.
Why did you join? For him? Run away, my dear. Run.
He could have feelings for you, and it is possible he is not wanting to say how he feels because of the situation he is in (e.g. on a mission). I never pursued a girl in one of my areas because I was afraid of how I would be perceived (she was a member and we both liked each other)...I thought I would be vilified for having feelings I could not control.
Understand his situation the best you can and do your best to accept the possible outcome that he will ultimately side with his religion. I'm sorry you're in the situation you are in, it's not fun to have feelings where they are not reciprocated. There are many people in this world, I know you can find someone who will give back the same feelings you feel now, it happened with me.
This dude probably has someone waiting at home. And if he knew you were on this site, he'd probably disown you. I'm a part of your generation and I used to hang around missionaries and RMs every single Sunday. Trust me--the whole situation is far more complicated than you could ever imagine.
I don't know you, but there are some things I would want my daughter to know about Mormon males:
They are raised to think they are superior to females, and that as Mormon Priesthood-holders, they have dominion over their wives and children.
They believe that in the afterlife, that they will have many wives.
They believe that God and Christ have many wives.
There is a Mormon hierarchy, and a convert will never be considered to be as good as a BIC (Born in the Covenant) Mormon. A BIC Mormon is born to parents who are temple sealed. In the Mormon social structure, there are rewards for being faithful--and social status is a great reward. Your missionary most likely has a girl or several girls waiting for him at home. There will be daughters of Bishops and Stake Presidents, perhaps girls he grew up with, and their parents have plans for them.
Even at BEST--if he does marry you--you will be married in the temple in a secret ceremony that excludes your parents and all other non-Mormons. I believe, from experience, that Mormons don't love very deeply. A female plays the ROLE of wife and mother, but is not appreciated as an individual. You will be very lonely--especially as a marginalized convert.
I know so many, many, many women who have ended up unhappy and defeated. I met them in the dorms at BYU, and kept touch with them years afterwards. I, myself, had the misfortune of marrying two Mormon men. Read D & C 132, which illustrates the sexism in the Mormon cult.
Run! Don't worry about if he loves you or if he loves you not--just run, and never look back. There are many lovely, nurturing, kind, sane men out there. Don't be side-tracked by a crazy fanatic, who is and always will be "unavailable." The Mormon church comes first--ahead of spouse and family. These are sicko's!
I was a member for eighteen years. we joined the church when I was just ten.
I have seen many, many missionaries come and go. And I have seen many, many girls fall in love with one or more of them. Myself included.
Never, ever in my experience has that resulted in a real relationship.
Please also keep in mind that he is not his true self right now. He is playing a part. He is a missionary. He could be a very different person at home. Being a missionary requires him to be nice, sweet, considerate, polite, understanding and calm. They are in a different state of mind.
These guys change back to their normal self as soon as they hit home. And most of them don't want a 'mail order bride'. Even if they might have feelings for you, their families will convince him otherwise.
Please don't beg for his love. Please don't degrade yourself like that. I so feel for you. I've been there more than once.
And don't forget, he could get into a whole heap of trouble if word gets out that he is 'involved' with a girl on his mission. The gossip is huge.
I'm sorry.. but if he says he cares for you.. oh boy..no my dear..he's giving you the run around. I'm sorry..
koolgirl20 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > So the elder I fell in love with told another > elder to give me a message " tell her that I care > about her a lot and that I love her to > death"...would this mean he does love me in the > way that I love him? or what? I kind of told him > in a letter how I feel towards him.
Sorry to tell you this, but he's just not that into you.
Even if he does have romantic feelings for you, he can't really express those if he's trying to abide by mission rules.
Are you writing to him? If so, keep it up and just be a good freind. You can see what happens later when he gets off his mission.
But in the meantime--don't sit around waiting for him. Get out there and date, go to school, or whatever it is you're doing right now. Go on with your life--so that in case it turns out he doesn't return your feelings after his mission, you won't be blind-sided. (I speak from experience.)
If you do not have a testimony though or are questioning your future participation in the church, I'd turn and walk away if I were you. If you don't want to raise a family in the church, it's better to walk away now than get married and begin raising a family in the church. (I speak from experience on that one, too.)
I wish you the best--you have your whole life ahead of you yet!
Well yes I wrote to him once and I honestly haven't even gotten a response back. Maybe because of what I wrote, I wrote a poem for him, and I kind of told him a bit of how I feel towards him. So I feel that, that's why he hasn't responded and won't as long as he is on his mission. I met him last year in April its been a little over a year, even though I've seen him and talked to him. it gets me depressed because there is no way in which I can be close to him. If It happens that I do end up marrying him, my parents wouldn't be invited anyway, our relationship isn't great. How do I stop loving someone I love so much? everytime I see him I fall in love with him all over again.
joined his ridiculously insane cult because your hormones were working overtime and doing all the thinking, and now you want people HERE to tell you how to run your effed-up imaginary love life???
Nothing doing, sweetheart. You don't need advice from RfM, you need a shrink. Maybe meds. ASAP.