I remember being a miserable, poor missionary. So in some ways I feel sorry for them. I know that I brought the misery on myself. Yes, I could have not gone or walked away at any time but there is TONS of pressure to stay. Anyway, what do you people think? Help them or no? And by help I mean buy their drink or lunch or something small like that. Is it only enabling TSCC?

menomore, formerly Robin



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/01/2012 08:25AM by menomore.

Here's how I look at it, when I was a member of the church I'd help out others so they would see that the church was a church of service, (build good misssionary opportunities). It's still the same just in reverse, I try to show them you can be a good moral happy person, serve your fellow man, and believe the church is a bunch of crap. I also invite Jehova's Witnesses in and when either set of missionaries asks if they can talk about their 'gospel' I say have at it, because I know they feel they need to. Then when/if they ask me if I agree I say no, but I understand they are on a journey of their own and right now they need to believe what they are teaching. I never argue but if they ask sincere questions I'm more than happy to answer. Geez, it's right out of their own missionary handbook.

I say help them if you want to. It might 'encourage' them (interpretting it as 'god's tender mercies'), true, but it also might rub into the more thoughtful ones (yes, they exist, and if they keep being thoughtful they might end up rfm regulars one day just like you) how it isn't necessary to be a mormon to be good and kind... it might even spark an idea in them that non-mos not only are good and kind, but they are that way without convertion or tribal agenda.

Ultimately, do what your conscience says and don't worry too much about their reaction. How they take your kindness is their problem.

Providing an artificial food source causes adults to produce large families which the natural food supply can't support.
Overpopulation leads to starvation and epidemics of disease.

Many have specialized diets and can die from the wrong foods.
Many people feed them as a form of entertainment; but lean protein, green vegetables, and other foodstuffs they are not used to can cause disease, death, mouth injuries and throat obstructions in those who have adapted to eat jello, fry sauce, funeral potatoes, and other such foods.

Feeding causes them to lose their natural fear of humans.
They become easy targets for people who do not respect religious proselytizers and who would hurt them intentionally.

You always risk injury when you do not keep a respectful distance from those who may misinterpret your actions.
Feeding may be mistaken as you wanting to hear more about "the gospel" and may result in unwanted intrusion into your habitat.

Be sure they understand you are ex Mormon and just enjoy being generous.

Tell them that they can come to you at any time if they need help or want to leave or take a break.

Let them know that they can talk about church if they want to sincerely listen to your opinions too.

Of course, it is good to offer succor to the missionaries. I am ex mo and don't think I'm christian anymore either. but do believe in the merit of acts of charity. In the Jewish tradition, it is seen as good to help not because of who a person is, but simply because they have a need.

If one is extending the hand of charity to Mormon boys on their mission, I think it would be best to gently tell them that you understand what it is they are doing but are not interested in hearing the message. I would not explain I am ex but simply focus on the fact that I saw and need and felt moved to help. Job done.

You could be doing way more than encouraging them, you could be reinforcing there belief in TSCC.

i offer them a bottle of water if they come to my house. There is no reason to mean to them. They are just confused kids

Some will absolutely take it as a 'miracle' but then again, even if you don't help out it can be taken as their opportunity to sacrifice and serve the Lord. Others, perhaps the more sheltered ones who least likely expect it from those 'Gentiles' may actually have thier eyes opened, if even a little to the fact that there are good people out there with different beliefs.

+1.

I'm wondering the same thing.

Missionaries are so brainwashed by their narcssistic cult mindset that they think any good that comes their way is a reward for their sacrifice and dedication. Has anyone anywhere ever deconverted a missionary on the premise that "gentiles, exMos and apostates" are good people? I'd like to read THAT story.

ok, so something tells me you've never served a mission or had a close family member that did. If you had you'd know they're just people. Some of them are zealots and some of them are questioning why the hell they let their parents talk them into this and whether three years tuition is worth the pain and suffering of dealing with a bunch of dildos (and I'm talking about people who are in the church and people who are jerks to them). And yes, people have a tendency to hold onto faith when they're going through trials much more so than when life is easy.

Post #1:
>>Feeding them only encourages them.
Post#2:
>>Re: I wounder how many people leave TSCC because good things are happening to them vs. because they are always sacrificing?
>>+1.
>>I'm wondering the same thing.
>>Missionaries are so brainwashed by their narcssistic cult mindset that they think any good that comes their way is a reward for their sacrifice and dedication. Has anyone anywhere ever deconverted a missionary on the premise that "gentiles, exMos and apostates" are good people? I'd like to read THAT story.

Kindly point out where I say "Oh yes, be a major jerk to the missionaries." So far your "something tells me" intuition is batting ZERO. Why are you accusing me of doing things I never even wrote about?

You're correct, my apologies about assuming you didn't go on a mission.
My statement was made because of what I saw as a generalization:

>>Missionaries are so brainwashed by their narcssistic cult mindset that they think any good that comes their way is a reward for their sacrifice and dedication.

Perhaps you weren't referring to all missionaries, although it does come off that way.

re my insert: (and I'm talking about people who are in the church and people who are jerks to them). Apparently you are just as good about making assumptions because I didn't say you specifically were a 'major jerk' to them I said 'people who are jerks to them' in this case people would refer to any person, not necessarily you, but anyone.

breatheagain Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ok, so something tells me you've never served a
> mission or had a close family member that did. If
> you had you'd know they're just people.

1+

Besides, what does it really say about someone when he would only help those who think (or have prospect of thinking) like he does? Sometimes some ex-mos here seem keen to not recover from agenda-centric mormon culture.

Not someone that has put themselves there, and remain there, on their their own accord.

Yeah, I know they are "pressured" but they are ADULTS and "pressure" is no excuse, they themselves are responsible for their actions now.

The people that had the most effect on me as a missionary in Germany and, in the end, helped me on my journey out were the ones that said little snippets that made me think. The remarks were never disrespectful, anti-mormon, or anything that raised my defenses.

For example, I talked to someone that said scary movies could raise his adrenalin level, but just because he feels scared doesn't make the movie real. He just told me in a really simple, real-life, non-religious way that feelings are not a measure of truth, and that they can be manipulated. That stuck with me. And this was a guy that I only talked to for a few minutes on the street.

Oops, didn't finish my thought. I don't mind helping them because I was once in their shoes. The way I see it, they are victims of their upbringing. And its a chance to talk to them and make them think without being disrespectful.

If I'm not doing anything more important, like, say, cleaning the cat's anus with my tongue, I might offer 'em a beer or something.

But I doubt it.

Timothy



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/01/2012 02:57PM by Timothy.

After indulging in hobbies like that, I think you need more than a beer.

Just sayin'.

Visiting with the missionaries resides somewhere between amputating my leg with a power saw for no apparent reason and
running my thingy through a hemi-powered meat grinder.

A man's got to have boundaries.

Timothy



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/01/2012 03:08PM by Timothy.

Word.

They need to learn adult lessons.

Yes. Help them like you would help anyone you know could use some encouragement or a helping hand. Kindness speaks volumes. If they receive more compassion and understanding from the outside than they do the inside, they may wonder why they choose to stay.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/01/2012 03:13PM by suckafoo.

STOP helping!!
Some people enjoy suffering for a cause.

For the rest - the more uncomfortable the mission, the faster they will drop Mormonism.

LOL! "Please don't feed the bears."

I'd help them out of grace, and not for their religion or any other.

We have a gay son. My wife is convinced one of the missionaries in our ward is gay but has not confronted it yet. This missionary is a pet project of my wife. She has befriended him (something we have never done even when active). She is talking about our son and the issues we all have dealt with as a result of being Mormon only in the hopes that if he really is gay it may help him in the future.