I grew up with my mom being very vocal about a conversation she had with her bishop when she was pregnant with me. Being a single expectant mother, no job (some mental issues that prevented her from working), a partier, definitely not active at all, her mother just dying... a couple of trusted and good tbm friends suggested she talk to the bishop to see if the church could/would help with anything while she was pregnant and just after I was born. One of those friends (old enough to be her mom, a good mentor) went with her to the meeting and the bishop told her that they would only help if she agreed to put the baby up for adoption so that it could be sealed to parents in the covenent and go to the highest degree of glory. Obviously she said no, and the sister/friend supported her in that decision, but it was a sore spot for her for a long time as well as me growing up.

I actually have my TBM father to thank for all of my little aha! moments that helped me become the rational thinker that found his way out of the church. Growing up I was very lucky to have a large selection of time life nature books from like the sixties and years and years worth of nat geo magazines (edit-After a long google search I rediscovered the childcraft series from the seventies, these books also helped me get a wide perspective at a young age). They really opened my eyes to whole new vistas of reality the church had no part of.
One of the bigger aha moments also came courtesy of such material. I vividly remember a very young zombie staying up at night reading about this amazing world full of vibrant cultures and thinking to myself- wow, there are so many people out there who have never and will never hear about this so called true church. It just didn't make sense to me even at a young age that the one and only true church would be dwarfed in comparison to the great world religions of Islam, Catholicism, Hinduism etc etc. Of course growing up in a traditionally mormon family I had to keep all such thoughts out of my head and just go with the flow.
Fast forward to my high school years and my nail in the coffin aha! moment came after a few months into my first sexual relationship. My senior year of high school at the tender age of seventeen I began having sex with my girlfriend and feeling pretty crappy within hours after each experience. One cold January night after one such episode I walked into the nearby park and collapsed into the snow and plead to God with tears in my eyes to help me with my sinfulness. I. felt. nothing. After a few minutes I got up walked home with a complete sense of calm. A few months later I moved away from home and never looked back.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/20/2012 01:45AM by zombie.

My first ah-ha moment was an auto accident while driving to Church. We were late for Church (as usual) and found some ice and then the rear end of a pickup truck parked at a traffic light.

As we're exchanging insurance information, my wife chimes in, "We were going to be late for Church." The expression on the other driver's face said, "What? You risked your lives and mine to get to a Church meeting?"

Immediately my priorities changed. Never again would I do anything risky or contentious to keep to the Church's schedule. Relax. Concentrate on what is truly important.

Our son was 1 year old when we lived in that town. It would be over 25+ years before I exited the Church for good.

I know it's not church policy or anything, but I've always had a hard time with the families where Sunday mornings before church, at home, are filled with lots of yelling and threats and stress and such because it's time to go to church and the kids aren't ready and presentable and... what's the point if it's causing arguments that don't need to be had? And really, what's the point of trying to teach our kids to enjoy church if it means they're going to deal with crazy parents and be yelled at?

every. single. fhe. ending in someone being beaten bloody....
My mother tried so hard,
raising 8 children
while my father "worked"
in Alaska.

Actually, the beatings only occured
when he was home to visit,
and impregnate my mom....
I recall sitting on my knees for an indeterminate amount of time
while various siblings snickered...
dad would stop the prayers, beat whoever laughed, and
force us to start over again...and again... and again.
Fhe was weekly beating session,
I still have nightmares about it...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/21/2012 05:28AM by ambivalent exmo.

:( I'm so sorry.

Just wow. Our family home evening was tough to sit through but nothing compared to that. There is nothing like mandatory love is there.

I am so glad you are not there anymore.

I'm so sorry ambivalent Exmo :(. That is horrible.

One of the reasons I stopped going was because Sunday mornings stressed me out so bad. Getting an infant and and a toddler ready, husband at early morning meetings, home teaching in the evenings, I reached a breaking point. I didn't go one Sunday and stayed in my pjs all day. It was heaven. So I didn't go back :)

When I attended Church it was to relax and enjoy a Sunday with my family. I almost said Sabbath (even though Sunday is not the Sabbath Day). I could spend a day without competing with the world.

My wife was always in fierce competition with other sisters in Relief Society. Evidence of her success or failings was through her family's conformity to Mormon standards. Meanwhile, we (husband and children) are pawns in this game.

My wife could not endure more than ~4 weeks of Church without a petty dispute with another sister.

One Sunday the contention over a knitting project was so intense my wife and another sister could be heard in a loud argument on the other side of the Stake Center. A counselor in the bishopric found me in the clerk's office. "You're safe," he said. "I thought she was after you."

My wife feels a divine commission to reprove anyone for not conforming. My wife once shouted at teens for talking during sacrament.

Men are the same way on the basketball court. I would hope to enjoy friendship and recreation; while some brethren treat any game like it is the NBA finals. Relief Society (and YM/YW and Primary) are the sisters' basketball court.

Why do any of this to prepare for more in the celestial kingdom?

Though it is really fun to just turn around and stare raptly at whoever is keeping up a running, rather loud, giggly, conversation during a meeting. I mean, it must be important and worth everyone hearing if they have to be so loud and intrusive about it, right?

I actually advocated group staring in a sacrament talk: "If a family is having difficulty keeping their children quiet, it is very important that we all turn to stare at them. Never offer to sit with one of the children and let them draw, read you a story or show you how their toys play."

Sacrament meeting was especially stressful for our family. Our son was severely ADHD. An ultra-hyper kid is not a good formula for a reverent hour plus for sacrament meeting.

Other families refused to sit near us. Some families wouldn't sit in front of us; others not behind us; some it was no row in front or behind; others it was not within 2 rows; the most extreme wouldn't share the same side of the chapel with us. I used to call it their anti-Idler safety distance.

Their rejection hurt my wife terribly. Some people actually expected us to move. I let them move if they had a problem with us.

Yes, understandable and horrible for you to have to go through that. So much for "love thy neighbor."

Teenagers or adults who are just being inconsiderate, though, yes, stare away! Regardless of the quality of the meeting or whether they believe in the church, it's still a respect thing.

I had a SP in Utah who used to start other meetings (like HP meeting, or stake priesthood, stuff like that) about 5 minutes early, because everyone should be there early anyway so we can start on time.

Seriously. Once I showed up 3 minutes before the hour, and the meeting was already going. He was a real piece-of-work, though—when he didn't get promoted to GA, he ran for mayor instead.

My first 'Aha!' moment came the year I was 6. I had sun tea for the first time, liked it, & realized there was nothing wrong with it.

My brother got drunk before a Saturday Night Dance. He knew better than to come home, so he talked a friend in to letting him stay over. The father of the home came back after a date night with his wife, and found my brother inebriated. Being rather naive, the dad thought my brother was possessed and called the bishop.

"There's a young man in our living room who smells horrible. His speech is slurred and he can't seem to walk right. I think he's possessed."

By the time they had assembled a few church guys, it was too late to back out, even if they had figured it out. They started performing an exorcism, to which my brother looked up and yelled, "F*ck you!" and proceeded to throw up all over the living room. He then passed out and slept until morning, while they continued to pray throughout the night.

Most people will recognize the symptoms of drinking too much.

Smell of alcohol
Slurred speech
Lack of inhibitions
Sloppy motor skills
Puking (if you've had too much)

I was a gullible little kid, and I had just seen the movie, "The Exorcist." What I learned at church made me think it was all true, and very possible. I was freaked out. It damaged the relationship between my brother and me for years to come.

The fact that church members would tell a family that their son was possessed and get it so wrong really burns me up. Because of their positions in the LDS church, I believed what they said. Fortunately, we have a great relationship now and spend a lot time together.

Their incompetence, coupled with positions that demanded respect, was a bad combination.

T-Bone



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 06/20/2012 06:24PM by T-Bone.

Ouch, yeah, that one is pretty bad.

T-Bone Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> By the time they had assembled a few church guys,
> it was too late to back out, even if they had
> figured it out. They started performing an
> exorcism, to which my brother looked up and
> yelled, "F*ck you!" and proceeded to throw up all
> over the living room. ...
> T-Bone

Not to diss your brother but I haven't seen an LDS exorcism. What does it look like? What do they do and say without a crucifix? Is it good material for a slamtoon?

They give you a blessing and command satan to leave.

But from what I heard, they put some oil on his head and said something like, "Leave, Satan."

That's when he said, "F you!" and threw up.

I don't know if it's anything interesting enough for a slamtoon, but it might be fun to try.

T-Bone

When our bishop spent 45 min berating the congregation for being late to sacrament meeting. He told us that he was embarrassed to be our bishop when members of the stake leadership were visiting and threatened to start locking the chapel doors at 9am every Sunday.

Screw you bishop! Its hard enough getting 3 kids into church appropriate clothing that early in the morning and to church on time, nearly impossible when you've hijacked my husband for 6am church meetings.

Small Mormon town. two wards population 600 (including cows and visiting cousins)

she lives a three minute drive from church with NO traffic.
at 15 minutes to the hour as she is going out the door, the baby poops into her tights and shoes, over flowing her diaper.

My friend finds new clothes for baby, gathers up the other toddler and school children and gets into the foyer just as the chapel doors are being closed while the ward sings the first line of the opening hymn.

She peeks in and the chapel is packed! No room up front or on the sides, you'd need a shoe horn to get more people into the chapel.

She is holding her baby, the diaper bag and a toddler, she asks the priests at the door if they could open the overflow doors because her hands are full.

The priest goes up to the stand (the congregation is still singing) and asks the Bishop. He comes back and tells her the BP said if you can't be to church on time we're not going to open the overflow doors.

My BIC friend stood there in the foyer and nearly wept. (her hubby was sick that day and couldn't come to church with her, so she'd faithfully brought the family anyway).

Guess what day it was????? MOTHERS' DAY!!!! (that's why the church was full)

TSCC is one sick organization.

:(

I just had a fantasy about beating that bishop with my stiletos that I would have worn to church that day. How dare he.

WOW, that is pretty horrible. I would either be in tears like your friend, or if I was mad enough, I would hand the baby to the priests and go open the damn overflow myself.

where do you live?

My ah-ha moment came one night about a week ago. I was reading comments in Newsweek´s after David Frum´s "positive" article:
It´s Mormon in America. The comments from nonbelievers and ex-mormons were so tough and honest compared to the posts of
LDS members. The good news is that the discussion goes on after c. 400 comments. Reading your fine comments all of you could take part if you feel like. I will try to paste the link here:

http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/06/10/david-frum-on-how-romney-s-religion-is-his-greatest-asset.html

WOW - that is amazing. Sometimes we feel like we are spitting in the wind with the Mormons and their Occupy the Net campaign.

It is so ironic that the more Mormons speak, the more members they lose. The more they write in defense of the blarney, the more they turn off their own members.

It is comforting to know that a tsunami of truth has arrived, brought by the Mormon-moneyed entry of Mitt Romney into the arena, and even his Brooks Brothers suit cannot hide the emptiness inside.

Thanks for the positive feedback for us anti-Mormons, which I prefer to call us Mormon Truthers.

Anagrammy

It just keeps popping up all over the place.

T-Bone

He was the coolest person ever and loved my sister so thoroughly after she had suffered much in her youth. He had brain cancer and died when he was 31 with all of us surrounding and holding him in bed.

Shortly after he died, I looked at my then-husband (he and I were the only LDS people in the house) and whispered, "There's no way he's not going to the Celestial Kingdom. Heavenly Father will take him instantly with open arms." Surprisingly, as a TBM then, I didn't feel the need to put his name on the temple lists for proxy mo-stuff. The temple "blessings" started to lose their hold on me that day.

That really got to me. I love stories about the moment when the real you starts taking back over.

This is powerful. Thank you for sharing that. It goes a long way in showing how ridiculous LDS beliefs really are.

When i was a beehive one of the laurels had a black boyfriend. Everyone thought it was quite a scandel. I didn't see what the big deal was.