A former member of the church passed away last week and he left specific instructions that he was not to have an LDS funeral nor was there to be anyone from the church involved in his service. His ex-mo wife arranged to have the funeral at the local funeral home and his obituary was printed in the local paper with the day and time of his funeral listed.

His wife made sure the funeral director knew that no LDS music or members were to speak or take part in any part of the service at all. They also had a viewing scheduled before the funeral where people could visit with his widow and family and pay their respects.

The morning of the showing and funeral his widow received a phone call from the funeral home telling her that there were two men there from the church and that they wanted to dress the body for burial. His wife, with extreme shock and anger, told the lady on the phone that under no circumstance was she to allow the men to be near her husband's body. The lady on the phone relayed the information to the men and they told her that they had been sent by the man's sister, an active member of the church, to dress the body in clothes that she had purchased for the occasion. The widow told the lady on the phone that she was not to let anyone near her husband's body and that was final. The lady on the phone said that she would make sure the widow's wishes were met.

That afternoon was the showing and funeral. At the conclusion of the showing their former Bishop arrived. The funeral director announced that they would be closing the casket shortly and that anyone who needed to say last words to the deceased needed to do so at this time. The widow was the last to approach her husband's casket and she spent a few minutes whispering her final words to him. When she was finished she turned and walked away with her back to the coffin. The Bishop saw his chance and stepped in front of the coffin and removed a white cloth envelope from inside of his suit jacket and placed it inside of the coffin and walked away. The funeral director saw what the Bishop had done and walked over to the coffin and pulled out the envelope the Bishop had shoved inside. He walked over to the widow and told her what he had seen and asked her if she wanted to include the envelope in the coffin. The widow opened the envelope and saw a temple robe, sash, apron, baker's hat, and shoes. She handed the envelope back to the funeral director and told him that he could throw the items in the trash and that the Bishop was not welcome to attend the funeral service.

The funeral director closed the casket and prepared to move the casket into the chapel for the funeral service that was to begin 30 minutes later.

The funeral was a non-denominational service and it lasted less than an hour and was attended by friends and family, both active LDS and non-members. Following the service there was a short procession to the cemetary where he was to be buried. The funeral director made a few comments and a few people and children placed flowers on the casket. The LDS sister placed a picture of the Salt Lake Temple on the casket. After the funeral director had thanked everyone for attending the graveside service broke up and people went their separate ways. But the widow, having witnessed her husband's TBM sister's sly actions, asked the funeral director to remove the picture from his casket and throw it away.

The funeral was just over a week ago and she is still livid. The church had to make every attempt they could to make it into an LDS-themed service. From the funeral clothes, to the envelope, to the picture of the temple, it was so inappropriate on every level.

I have heard some stories about lack of boundaries by members in the past but this takes the cake. What some people will do in the name of the church amazes me.

Disgusting. The arrogance is so over the top.

Agreed that that was so incredibly inappropriate and insensitive. (And cult-y crazy... if it's all symbolic anyway, what in the heck difference does it make, especially if he wasn't officially a member anymore... it's not like his endowments were still in effect or anything.)

If that were a family member of mine I would have had a lawsuit against these people.

I think that lady should be repaid by going to the next F&T meeting that this bishops presides and using the mic until physically dragged off the stage.

The behavior of this alleged religion in inexcusable.

I agree. I think there is a legal cause of action here. Per Se emotional distress tampering with deceased body of spouse. Laws are different in each state but there is a version of that everywhere...

That is so disrespectful :( I'm very glad the funeral director respected the wife's wishes and didn't let that sneaky, douchebag bishop get away with stashing the temple garb.

If I had been the widow, I would've made a big production of returning the temple robes to the bishop...taken them out of the envelope, waved them in the air whilst shouting at him "Oh bishop so-and-so, you left these in the casket!!"

I'm curious as to which state this took place in.
When someone dies,
there are specific laws regarding who has the legal right to disposition of the decedent's remains.
I could be wrong, but I believe in at least Oregon, California, Utah, Idaho and Arizona, the legal next of kin goes like this for a married man:
1. Spouse
2. Adult children
3. siblings.

Any other fsp's know the specifics? (It's been a long time since I was licensed).
Funeral homes look upon this stuff as uber serious.
This could be grounds for legal action against the funeral home.
In my experience, whenever we knew there was a family dispute over disposition of the body,
( burial, cremation, preparation of the body/embalming, services, dressing the body, etc.),
the funeral home was EXTREMELY careful in following the LEGAL survivors wishes.
I'm so sorry this happened to your friend.
Her anger is totally legit IMHO.

Gawd, what is wrong with these people???



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/08/2012 07:55PM by ambivalent exmo.

They respected the widow's wishes and kept her informed of the underhanded tactics of the LDS individuals.

That makes me sick. How many boundaries can you cross in one day? So disrespectful...

I'm so glad none of them got away with their underhanded actions. My sympathy to the widow and I hope she finds peace. In the end, her husband was buried the way she wanted, but I'm sorry she had the stress of others trying to sabotage her. You're right, this does take the cake.

I 'm scream livid mad thats these satanic people did this to her husband's body' It is so a slap in the face for this widow. disgusting. i smell a lawsuit. how can that man put this sh8t in the coffin like that. does he have a heart, even a brain!!!!!!. Like Deco has said go to that bishops church and tell the congregation what he did, embarass the hell out of him. this is the same as spitting in a open coffin on the deceased!!!!

Long story made short---

1. Cremation
2. Visitation at Catholic Church before funeral mass.
3. Private interment
4. Gathering after where coffee and open bar is available.

No problems. Of course, this was the weekend that Warsaw Illinois had their 200th anniversary, so we were doubly safe.

Cut them off by practicing the opposite.

I did a bit of research, and found that Canon Law in the Catholic Church basically does not allow a funeral mass for cremation, UNLESS THERE IS A GOOD REASON FOR THE CREMATION. It varies among dioceses, but Mormon interferences with funerals would be a compelling reason. As well as allowing enough time for relatives to get there, when they have fled the area to escape Mormon cultural influence. Just saying.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/16/2012 06:36AM by me.

Me,
Cremation seems to be more.acceptable these days among Catholics. Canon law may still be against it, but I know of at least 2 Catholics who were cremated and still had a funeral mass. One was my uncle a few years ago. The other was an old man in my folks' parish just a few months ago.
Both of my Catholic parents are planning to be cremated.
Maybe things are getting a bit more relaxed?

Susan

Canon law has changed. Cremation is now allowed, so long as all the ashes are kept in one place, and buried or put in a depository. I just about had a hissy fit when my sister asked if I wanted any of Mom's ashes. She asked the priest, and he agreed with me. It is all about resurrection of the dead, and not making unnecessary and excessive demands on God for reconstituting the body.

Ask Google for substantiation, and more information.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/16/2012 07:42AM by me.

He did say that they preferred we not separate or spread his ashes anywhere, though.

(My family didn't pay much attention to that part.) :)

I wish I was surprised. This is what I expect from Mormons. I just hope they become even more famous throughout the world for being what they are.

Any chance of getting the funeral director to serve as a witness when bringing charges of harrassment against the bishop?

Did anyone take pictures with a cell phone? Photos on youtube and facebook can bring great public embarassment to the church. Screw the Mormons to hell in the light of day.

Thie took place in southern Oregon and the funeral director handled the situation just as he should have. When he called me and told me the Bishop's name I can't say that I was suprised. He's always been a pushy, pompous ass. He'd be the guy that would kill in the name of the lord if Monson commanded it.

Wow, at this rate they might as well dance on his grave! Total and utter rude behavior at best.

Damn damn!

After rereading that, I would be concerned about that bishop showing up a couple of days after the funeral at the cemetary with a shovel!

Utterly disgusting. My family has strict orders to cremate me and disburse my ashes to anyone who gives a damn to go spread a portion of them in a space that was significant to the two of us. I expect part of me on various rivers, trails, beaches, mountains, etc. I dare some do-gooder bishop or distant TBM relative to prop a photo of a temple on the coffee can that holds my ashes in the interim. (Think Big Lebowski).

Hee hee! I hart The Big Lebowski.

Maybe they should roll you in an area rug first. You know, they really tie a room together.

That is one of the most awful stories I've heard in a long time. I haven't had to deal with too many Mormon (or non-Mormon) funerals yet but I am dreading the day my parents pass away and I am forbidden from fully participating in their funeral simply because I am no longer Mormon. As if being barred from weddings isn't enough of a heart-break!

Although we carefully planned, they hijacked Mom's, Dad's, and even my exmo son's funeral. Nothing as extreme as this. My nutty MIL did want our son to be buried in temple clothes even though he'd never been endowed.

My funeral is supposed to be a champagne celebration of my life. I'll try to let you know when I expect it to be. Who knows though?

Oh my F.cking GOWD....

Is there really no limit to what these people will do????

Big big credits to the widow for remaining calm and handling it the way she did.. I think I would have thrown a full force screaming fit, chucking all these mormons OUT of the funeral services.

The arrogance and rudeness is just overwhelming. I can't believe people would actually, really be THIS rude..

Goes to show what kind of God they believe in. A god that is soo petty that he demands stupid bits of cloth to be buried with a person in order to make it to heaven..

What a crock..

This is awful, BUT remember that they will (and have) committed murder for the church so this is not surprising.

I'm not shocked, but most people would be.

Oh no, it's not a cult.

that envelope full of temple clothes would have been put to good use the very next F&T meeting.

I would have a buddy on video recorder with full-color hi-def, and while proceeding to give a Boyd K-K-Kiss mah Pucker-style sermon on the righteousness and wisdom of Bishop Pushy-ass making sure that poor sinner had the right ghost costume to get into Mormon Heaven ...I would be donning that Greek Baker outfit and offering the signs and tokens to everyone there. LOL!

What goes around comes around.

This makes my skin crawl. Earlier this month my mother in law passed away and she had her pre planned funeral at the cemetery. I have never been to a non-church funeral, and I was surprised and moved at how well it was done. The staff was very kind and considerate and asked the family their wishes every step of the way.

I think a lawsuit wouldn't be out if the question. I admire the widow for being so calm. We were all an emotional mess, and there was no controversy going on.

Thank you for posting this! What an awful story, how sad that she had to be on the defensive on such a vulnerable day :(

I haven't made specific plans for my funeral, which hopefully is 60 years away from now, but I am going to do so! There's a few Mormons in my family but they're distantly related and scattered. However my tbm mil is genuinely insane and if she were still alive when I die she would make it quite difficult for my husband.. I'll have to write down a plan for him to follow so no one can pressure him to do weird things he doesn't want to do. Who knows, maybe so many years from now weed will have been decriminalized, I think I'd like for everyone to hit a ceremonial blunt in my honor lol. At least burn some incense.. Ok, I've got to find some paper now

IMO, the wife did just the right thing---her husband’s funeral is no time to get in an open brawl with anyone.

Sure is strange how some people feel they have a right, in the name of their own religious belief, to put their own will ahead of the deceased person's written wishes and the spouse’s efforts to fulfill that wish. Do they really think that God accepts such efforts as a reversal to the deceased person's stated stand?

PS: I do not sympathize with people who presume the right to direct their ashes be spread over public property for others to step on, wade through, or let the wind blow into someones hair or camp dinner.

Nor, IMO, is respect and dignity found in waving garments in a church mtg..

The church's action are disgusting. Wasn't it enough to screw former members in life?
I plan on leaving specific instructions to not allow mo'ism in my funeral (hopefully not soon) AT ALL COSTS. If the cult does hijack my funeral, is it possible to come back as a draugr?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/16/2012 05:08AM by hellrazor.

This is just completely sick, insane, & depressing. :( WTF is wrong with these people? I know I shouldn't be shocked at all, but I still am.

I simply don't think I believe it, yet

in light of Gay Ex-Mo's posts, which were just fake to get us riled, without some more proof....

I apologize for not believing you, motherfreaker. I simply can't on face value.

Bishop's name? Let's bring light of day to this. I will call him and voice my anger.

Talk to a local lawyer who is not a Mormon.

T-Bone

That story really fired me up. I can't stand the Mormon church and what it does to the people. they are so worried about saving everyone and I am declaring war on that church. Those GA's and higher ups should be ashamed of themselves for continuing a cult. how dare those people do that to that poor lady that just lost her husband. It seems like they are getting even crazier- probably Romney inspiring them to be more on the offense. I am going to take my antics up a notch then too. They aren't getting away with this.