I am the daughter of converts and so I have not yet experienced the funeral of a close Mormon relative. However, I recently heard that Mormon funerals also have a lot of rules and also practice exclusionary tactics. Does anyone know of any resources that can help me learn more about this matter?

I thought I was done - all of my siblings have been married off, no more weddings of loved ones to get banned from. The idea that I might be banned from participating in my (fiercely beloved) mother's funeral is almost too much to bear. If anyone has any stories or advice or resources that they can share, I would really appreciate it.

Thank you so much

I have been to Mormon funerals where non-mormons have delivered eulogies.

If she is temple endowed, Other temple endowed ladies will dress her If your sisters are temple endowed then THEY will dress your mother at the funeral home and you will not be present.. but for most people that's not a big deal since most family members don't dress their own loved ones in the normal world... but if all your sisters are doing this and you are not allowed to be there it can feel exclusionary if you are not allowed to be present.

Songs will be sung. The bishop may say a few words.

Some of the no-nos I can think of is no photograps/video taping in the chapel. No rock music in the chapel. So if you want to play certain songs you may not be able to.

Fortunately, my mother's funderal was not a mormon affair. It was Presbyterian. She wrote out her wishes for what she wanted sung, etc., years in advance. One song in particular was only allowed because it was her wish in writing! It was "Love me Tender" an old Elvis song, with a slight change in wording made by my mother. I gave the eulogy. Our congressman said it was the best funeral he had ever been to, and I know he meant it.

SerendipityHappens Wrote:
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> If she is temple endowed, Other temple endowed
> ladies will dress her If your sisters are temple
> endowed then THEY will dress your mother at the
> funeral home and you will not be present.. but for
> most people that's not a big deal since most
> family members don't dress their own loved ones in
> the normal world... but if all your sisters are
> doing this and you are not allowed to be there it
> can feel exclusionary if you are not allowed to be
> present.

When my dad died I was TBM. However I had two brothers at the time who were not. I made sure that they were present at the dressing too.

My only regret about my father’s funeral was the closing speaker. One of my dad’s former bishops is now a GA. Mom asked him to speak. Seeing that the audience was more than half non-members he seized on the opportunity for a missionary moment. But not quite knowing how to relate to non-members he kinda combined his missionary work GA talk with his interpretation of a southern Baptist sermon. Consequentially, he didn’t do either one very well and everybody, Mormons and non-Mormons alike, thought it was a little odd.

Typically they aren't too bad. They certaily have a Mormon church feel to them. The eulogies are usually good and tend to be funny, touching, etc.

You will definitely get a lot of Mormon beliefs mixed throughout, but that probably is par for the course of any religious funeral - the payoff of all the junk you have to put up with is comfort on a afterlife.

Once in a while you get a crazy bishop that condemns the deceased and says he isn't worthy of the Celestian Kingdom, but that is the exception.

I helped organize my Mom's funeral with my Dad and then I organized his. Nobody told me I couldn't do this or that, not that I would have done anything to dishonor them. I gave my Dad's eulogy and wrote my Mom's. No input or changes from anyone.

Were these in an LDS Corp church building? I've been involved with one of these, and I was refused/denied on one thing I wanted to do, and they would never give me a rational reason for this denial, either.

Yes, both were in the Lethbridge East Stake chapel. For my Mom's (she was Scottish) funeral I requested a piper to play her casket out of the church. No problem. Had I been denied, there would have been.

I guess I read the Stake President's blog a little seriously - anyway, thanks for the reassurances!

As an ex-Mo since 1971, I have attended many Mormon funerals since then; mostly family members. I attended my nephew's funeral 2 weeks ago and was appalled by much of the content. First off, I did not recognize ONE SONG. I recall one hymn being about 'Following The Profit'. Judging from the comments from the pulpit, there were alot of us non-believers in the crowd of about 500. The constant invitation for us to learn of the True Church was a bit much. Also, most of the Church Members wore purple and gold. Turns out my nephew was a HUGE Laker fan. It figures; we were in the Sacred Basketball Court for the funeral. I recall this area being called the Rec Hall back in the day. The reason for his departure from the Earth Plane was cancer, which began eating away at his organs at the young age of 42. He was 48. He had a horrible diet and I have heard from many sources that he was addicted to Dr. Pepper... I want no part of a 'Loving Heavenly Father' who would put a man thru this kind of torture in the name of making it to the CK. I was unable to perform the mental gymnastics required to follow those who spoke at the funeral; saying basically that he had to go thru these kinds of tests here on Earth. Bullsht!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mormon funerals are encouraged to be proselytising events aimed at converting new members.

Here, for example, is an excerpt from The Church Handbook of Instruction - Administering The Church.

"Funerals provide an important opportunity to teach the gospel and testify of the plan of salvation. They also provide an opportunity to pay tribute to the deceased. However, such tributes should not dominate a funeral service. Having large numbers of people share tributes or memories can make a funeral too long and may be inappropriate for a Church service. If family members want an extended time to share such memories, they may consider doing so in a special family gathering, separate from the funeral service."



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/10/2012 07:16AM by Stumbling.

I have been to mormon and non-mormon funerals and the only difference is at the mormon funerals you get funeral potatoes after the service.

There are mormon funeral where with church's 'plan of salvation' is the main topic and the deceased is barely mentioned. I think many are fairly normal and do talk a lot about the deceased.

It depends on the bishop. You will not be excluded and should not worry about it.

My Father's funeral was the former type of funeral, Plan of Salvation and when my father was mentioned it was strictly in regard to his religious callings.

I had my own service for myself at his grave on another day. That worked for me.

As a member of the family you should participate in the planning if you are able.

I've been to plenty of those, where the speaker drones on and on about all that salvation BS. Hard to sit through but whatever....