One of my best high school friends was a gung-ho new convert who invited me to all the dances. I loved it! I got to wear one of the long dresses my mom made for me. I got asked to dance all night, and all the boys were nice. They dropped me like a hot potato when the learned I was a non-member.

My friend and I were serious Goody Two Shoes types. I later learned that lots of stuff was going on in the parking lot, but we were inside in innocent bliss.

The biggest controversy I remember was a girl wore a halter style dress. She had thick long hair which covered her back. My friend was scandalized! The girl was a Bishop's daughter!

Care to share your "steak" dance memories? This was in the 70's.

I had NO CLUE what was going on in the parking lot. My nonmo boyfriend from age 20 and now at age 55--same guy--went to stake dances in the Mesa, AZ area and he filled me in on what went on in the parking lot.

The dances were one of the reasons I got baptized in 1999. Compared to the JWs that have no social activities, having a couple YSA dances a month was a great opportunity to meet people.

I was always kind of shy, but on a few occasions broke out of my shell and had a lot of fun. I think the most gals I asked to dance in a single night was five, including a beautiful young woman from Fiji who seemed really surprised that I would ask her. (I didn't know about the frowning on interracial thing until long after I'd gone inactive. Not that it would have stopped me.)

I also was oblivious to any unusual goings-on in the parking lot.

...this was in the 90s, so maybe they learned from the hedonistic 70s, lol.

The only things worth remembering are when the DJ played forbidden songs- Like one time he played Janet Jackson's "Black Cat" and had to think quickly and edit out when she says "Don't give a damn!" Another time, the DJ played "The Time Warp" and me and a friend were the only tow who knew the dance and callbacks. He got his ass chewed for that that one.

I went to stake dances in the early 2000's (1999-2003 abouts) and I had fun IF I had a friend with me. I had one good church friend that stopped going the like last year and a half I did or so. I also had a non-member friend I often took. If I tried to go to a dance without them, it was miserable and boring. The guys rarely danced with me because I wasn't popular or super pretty, and the girls were too busy worrying about the guys to include me in their circles.

And yeah, we weren't really allowed to hang out in the parking lot alone, and they would send some adult around the building to make sure there was no couples making out in the rooms. XD

I went to two of them. They were awful.

The girls stood on one side of the room, the boys on the other. The adults stood behind the refreshment table down at the end.

Nobody would dance. Finally my girlfriend and I asked the band to play the bunny hop. We got every one going. Soon as the music ended everyone went back to their places. The boys didn't want anything to do with dancing. Girlfriend and I danced the fast dances with each other. Pretty soon all the girls were dancing, and the boys were huddled over in the corner.

There were more girls in the restroom than out in the gym. They would sit in there and do their make-up and talk about which guy they liked. Dumb.

After going to two dances like that I never went again. It was boring.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/11/2012 12:24PM by Mia.

I loved stake dances in the 80's. They were a lot of fun. We used to go every weekend.

When the brethren found out about some of the shenanigans in the parking lot they started a parking lot patrol. That was funny. Around the late 80's things started to change, I noticed. For one thing, they started having a person at the door and once you left you had to stay out. Parking lot patrols started around that time.(Can you imagine that being your calling? Parking lot patrol for stake dances?)

I brought kids to dances about 10 years ago and they are totally different. You must attend a class and get a 'dance recommend' to be allowed in. I am not sure if there are interviews, but there is a code of conduct you must agree to and sign. None of the kids thought they were fun and didn't go back.

When DH was a teenager he DJ'd for stake dances a few times. He got in trouble for playing "Truly, Madly, Deeply" by Savage Garden once and they never asked him to DJ again. I guess the line "I want to bathe with you in the sea" was just too explicit for all those poor virgin ears.

That was a staple of late 90s slow dances!!! Of course, the Springs stakes refused to play any Madonna song other than "Crazy for You." Hilarious, because that song isn't her mildest. What the hell did they think "Every breath I'm deeper into you" meant? :D

Ah, stake dances...these are actually some of my very few happy memories about the church. They were pretty okay in my stake (mid to late 80s). If there was any rumpy bumpy goin' on in the parking lot, I certainly was too square to know about it. We had lots of chaperonage, but I don't remember anyone being too strict. Nor do I remember any music being quickly pulled from the turnstile.

They were a lot of fun.

However, during my hard-core "let's read what the brethren have said in old conference talks from the 60's on every conceivable topic" phase, I determined that our dances were too darkly lit and the music was too progressive, like the "tom-toms of the jungle" if I remember one quote correctly.

My co-DJ resigned from his calling when I argued for making righteous changes accordingly.

Wow, I wonder how much your location has to do with the strictness? The YSA events in Modesto, CA around 2000 weren't terrible, no idea if they've changed since then at all. We had people patrol the side rooms of the building and the parking lot, sure. But a door guard? No re-entry? Weird. People came and left all the time at ours, and a big group would go hang out at Denny's afterward.

As a never mo I went to a number of stake dances with my mormon friends in 2007-2008. They were pretty fun but we definitely fled the scene when the slow dances came on! Unfortunately I got asked to dance by the geekiest shortest guy with braces and I was stuck in an awkward slow dance for 3 minutes. Another favorite was an 80's themed dance! The dressing up was way more fun than the dance and we ended up leaving to go bowling.

I always got a kick out of the slow dances and how all the mormons had to hold the one hand and have the other on top of the shoulder or for the guys, high on the back. I was always accustomed to the girls putting their hands behind the guys neck and the guys resting theirs on the lower back. Although, my mormon prom date never cared what we did...I'm sure he was delighted to have his hands that close to my butt! ;) haha

I went in the late 70s and they were fun and pretty wild for Mormons. A lot went on in the parking lot too.

My TBM sister tells me that they don't really have them any more and if they do, the nerds attend, only. In the 70s it was a big big deal and everyone went. This was in Seattle.

From '86 in AZ to '90 in NC I always had a blast at dances. I would always dance with every girl there, almost get thrown out for being too suggestive, and start dance circles. By the end I was soaked in sweat and exhausted. We would always go somewhere after the dance and hang out. Fun memories.

We had a blast at the stake dances. They were the third Saturday of every month, usually at the Stake center but occasionally at one of the other ward houses in the stake. The Mormon kids in the area high schools tended to band together and all of us met up at the stake dances. A large group of us usually got together on other Saturday nights too, at someone's house. But we all got to know each other at the dances.

The funniest part of our stake dances was this one lady who thought the music was too loud and would damage our hearing. She had a decibel counter and would walk around the whole dance with it in her hands, ferociously measuring every corner of the stake gym, doing a convincing imitation of Dana Carvey's church lady. She also kept a close ear out for naughty language, although YMCA got by her every time. :)

The dances in the Phoenix North Stake, East Stake and West Stake were good times in the late 70's and early 80's.

PACKED with hot chicks and everyone danced. I remember West Stake dances where you could not find a place to stand in the Cultural Hall.

In the East Stake the same police officer ended every dance telling the throng of attendees to keep it down and drive like humans.

Like church basketball and softball trends took a devastating toll on church dances.

My kids don't go now... too lame. Having worked a few as a chaperone I concur. Things change over time and my kids must think I'm an old man when I tell them how awesome the dances were growing up.

As far as the parking lot was concerned I did my pre-marital sex in my wife's family room. Best ever.

DT



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/12/2012 12:39AM by Doubting Thomas.

I remember traveling from the Phoenix north stake to the west stake because they were such awesome dances in 86. Me and john in his old 50's truck. that is where I learned how to dance.

went to the dances. Met lots of people and enjoyed going to them with my guy friend who is still TBM. Good times except for the freak Oakland Police officer that tracked me down and talked me into a date and took me to the Peoples Temple in SF. He went on and on about the blight of society to the point where it was scary....had to tell him that the TBM who followed us to the stoplight near my home was actually following us EVERYWHERE. He immmediately took me home and I never accepted his calls again. Freak! Otherwise the dances were fun and I danced all night usually. We were all a bunch of squares, but it was good, clean fun. Never heard about parking lot adventures. This was 1976-1979 in the Bay Area.

I think I went to one.....a girl in the ward was my "dream girl" that week.....but the music was lame. I was into R&B already and it wasn't happenin' there....

Aah great memories! We had a lot of fun in the 90's. And yes, I did go in the parking lot (bad girl, I know).

I'll never forget one time this kinda nerdy guy got on his knees and proposed to a girl. She refused but that didn't deter him. He proceeded to get down on his knees and propose to all of us and one by one he got shut down! It was quite the spectacle.

I went to a couple. Usually wanted to pierce my eyes with dirty needles just to have something better to do. They were always as prude and little-kid-like as I feared. I never found out about the parking lot deal. Hah, go figure.

The stake dances in the Champaign Illinois stake in the late 70's were great. We had live bands (non-mo). Our stake president was wheel chair bound but he got out on the dance floor with all of us and we all had a good time.

I couldn't believe it when my niece in Phoenix told me that they had to be interviewed to go to a dance.

Think I have posted about this before, but here in the UK we have had a pretty good LDS dance scene

I remember going to dances from the mid 80s through to the late 90's and there have been some good times. Both 'official' church dances, thinking Hyde Park, Reading, Huddersfield, Cheltenham, Wandsworth. All good and had their 'era' - remember a few knee tremblers in the car park of a few of them.

Then there were the 'unofficial' ones - a LDS member would rent out a sports hall or hotel and would charge. There is one guy who ran a lot of these, UK members would remember the 'North meets South' dances, and 'Granada Studios' plus the 'Wilmslow' dances.

All good times, in fact there is a very prominent member of the current Tabernacle Choir who started his pop career meeting his fellow band mates at the Hyde Park dances of 90's!

My wife is an old Hyde Parker from the 80's and early 90's. Perhaps you would know one another.

I was a DJ at my stake dances when I was a youth, even did a little bit after the mission. The mid-to-late 90s dances were AMAZING!! I could have sworn we drew a good crowd of 500+ from the entire region. I recall girls telling me they drove all the way from PA or NC just to come to an Oakton dance. Apparently we were the hippest dances this side of the Mason Dixon line. This was they heyday of boybands and europop and I had a blast going crazy with the liberal tendency of our music selections. We got chewed out a few times (my partner in crime was a pro DJ and he would slip in some questionable selections) but overall, we were pretty good.

We had a door watch, hall monitors, and parking lot patrols. No shenanigans, unless you were on stage. My girlfriend at the time and I would frequently get frisky in one of the side rooms. No one was none the wiser considering no one was allowed on stage. I miss those days. Dances now, I hear, suck. I've seen pictures. I think they only draw like 50-100 kids at max. They've been regulated to playing heavily screened music or muzak. Mostly dubstep and Jonas Brothers. Oh dear.

I used to DJ some dances in the UK so I know exactly where you are coming from! Though we thought 150 was a decent turnout and I hear they struggle to get 50 these days, so the Priesthood Powers decided to just have a couple a year, and make them regional or national, just to get enough people to fill the cultural hall.

I used to play the odd house or trance tune, and on more than one occasion had a on stage argument with the stake president about the appropriateness (or lack, thereof) of the four to the floor beat.

I swear the numbers must have dwindled over the years, I remember Hyde Park dances of the late 80s getting avg of 300, and Manchester stake new years dances getting 4-500

Maybe there are less youth. Ow as they are realising the church is now a crock LOL

On rules I remember getting refused entry to Hiddersfield dance coz I was wearing shorts! Though I think they went OTT on rules following the issues at the Dewsbury dances

The guy who did the Granada studio dances is still DJing though not as often now, maybe a few times a year for the stake. Still does the 'James Brown' dance LOL

Huddersfield always had the strictest dress code. I had a female friend who was driven off to the YW pres house and given a choice of putting her (the YW pres) jeans on and going back to the dance, or spending the evening in her home... because she was wearing a knee length skirt!

I remember the dances being so lame that I had to smuggle in a personal supply of vodka just to get through them.

Back in the 70's I remember a young woman bringing her non member friend to a dance at Huddersfield & the jobsworth on the door wouldn't let her in because she was wearing trousers.
I can still see her going round all the sisters at the dance asking anybody if they had a skirt with them her friend could borrow.
I was disgusted & felt sorry & embarrassed for them both.

My ward had such neat dances in the 70s. One was rock 'n roll in the gym; a local DJ was there. The Green and Gold (or was it Gold and Green?) ball was beautiful. Girls in long, elegant dresses and guys in suits or even tuxes. I remember the stake president and his wife gliding by, looking very good. The church was so much fun back then; people nowadays can't imagine what it used to be like.

Went to a few in the mid to late 90s. Heavily chaperoned - parking lot, building, adults saying "leave room for the Book of Mormon!"

I always had fun, but I'm really outgoing. Guys hardly danced which was always so lame.

Eventually I got bored and stopped going. I mean, one can only tolerate hearing Cotton Eye Joe and the Electric Slide to a point.

My high school bf (now my husabnd) took me to a stake dance in the Northeast back in the 80's.
At one point we were hanging out on the grounds outside of the building and so were a few other kids. Nobody asked us to get back inside the building.
It seemed like a normal dance to me. No different than a high school dance.

I found out that now, that same stake is a lot stricter. No more wandering the grounds. And now couples must have a huge space between them when slow dancing.