I am too tired/drunk/apathetic to write the lengthy post I was going to write, needless to say, I am beginning to understand a lot of the frustration I hear from others about speaking to your TBM family about the church.

Condescension and guilt are the only way they can communicate, and they really, really do not realize they are doing it most of the time.

It could never be the facts, it is always the lack of (insert whatever here) that is the reason.

Wish I could say it gets better. My former mil is more adament now than she was 20 years ago. I think it's because she's now invested 20 more years and "IT" has to be true or she's wasted 40 years.

Glad I only wasted a couple of "active" years in this silly religion.

" 'IT' has to be true or she's wasted 40 years."

It really makes me admire those here at RFM who had the guts to face the truth after 30, 40, 50 years in the church. That is not easy, not in the least. My hat is off to all of you.

I really don't think Mormons know how they sound. Seeing things from another point of view is NOT taught in Mormonism. And, when you try to point out to them how they sound, they get all defensive. After all, their way of thinking is the One True Way of thinking so how dare you question it. It also makes it sort of a "my way or the highway" situation.

For example, they can't see why their repeated friendshipping (visits, cookies etc.) aren't appreciated. They wonder why they aren't loved for it. Yet they would cry persecution if the local Baptist minister were as intent on saving their souls and their childrens' souls as Mormons are about saving inactives. This kind of inability to process makes communication very frustrating.

Also, like you said, they can't admit their whole lives were wrong. A saying went around FB a while back - I can't remember who said it - but it said "When I find out I'm wrong, I change my mind. What do you do?" Mormons want to make everyone else wrong, rather than admit they themselves are wrong or have to change their minds.

A couple of thoughts:

CA girl said,

"Seeing things from another point of view is NOT taught in Mormonism."

True! The Mormon way of thinking is very limited because they are constantly suppressing their thoughts. They just can't make the mental connections to imagine how other people are thinking or feeling, so they base everything on how THEY are thinking or feeling -- which is why they can be so annoying. It's as though they have some kind of syndrome.

And suckafoo said:

"their brains are permanently imprinted with irrational beliefs to the point where they have damaged or paralyzed part of their brains. It is probably irreparable."

Also true, however, Mormons do leave the church and get their thinking straightened out, or "repaired" (often a difficult and painful process) But unless a Mormon gives him or herself permission to repair the damage, they won't improve. They have to get over their fear of actually thinking things through and accepting rational conclusions.
So there is always hope no matter how indoctrinated they seem.

I have observed my husband and his parents for quite sometime, listening to the church related dogma and their ideas as to what they value and have come to the conclusion that their brains are permanently imprinted with irrational beliefs to the point where they have damaged or paralyzed part of their brains. It is probably irreparable. It highly disturbs and saddens me to listen to their nonsense. I think they have been ruined. My husband would be so much nicer if he didn't think he and his family were superior. If he could just see what I see. I see three people who rarely laugh or smile, judging, caring about outward appearance and valuing material things and appearances more than anything else. They don't see how they really are.
They have also bought into a religion that is of no use to them since none of them can adhere to the ordinances of the gospel or remain active in it. They have a religion that does not enrich their lives and keeps them from exploring any better ideas.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/15/2012 09:58AM by suckafoo.