I am a nevermo and have only studied the church for the past year. I became interested in it when I had to research a 'religion' or 'cult' in my Theology classes.

I DO NOT want to join, however for kicks I thought it would be interesting to go to a 3 hour block to see what all this church thing is all about.

Honestly, I don't want to be love bombed to join the church. I just want to take an outsiders viewpoint (if that makes sense).

Is there anything I can do to not look like I am an outsider and may be just passing through? Honestly I think my facial expressions will give it away. I mean how can they not know that Joseph changed the history 7 times and that the book of Abraham is crap.

I won't really look the part because I only have a book of Mormon and not a quad which an exmormon told me most TBM own.

Any advice would be helpful thanks :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/14/2012 07:18PM by nevermojulie.

Wear a dress which is modest. It should cover your shoulders and be more or less knee length, Hide tats and take out any piercings other than one earring in each ear. Do not wear a cross. Act like you know what you are doing, take the sacrament if you feel okay about it, keep quiet and do not tell anyone your address or real name unless you want mishies to show up. People will probably aask about you so have a story.

Lady, your idea of fun is totally messed up.

+1
It's about as fun as stabbing yourself with a knife, or slowly suffocating..

Julie, what you will mostly observe is the true nature of boredom. Compared to a Mormon sacrament meeting, you can get more stimulation in a sensory-deprivation tank.

Are you going just for Sacrament or are you going to all 3 meetings? You will need to ask where Sunday School is and where Relief Society is being held (or just follow the crowd). If you stay for more than just Sacrament, people WILL talk to you because you won't be a familiar face, so you will have to come up with a pretty good story.

I don't think you're crazy at all. If you're interested in cults and want to research, this is the best strategy possible.

It actually isn't hard to blend in. I don't know where you are, but in the ward where I went, far from Utah/Idado, there were lots of folks who showed up unexpectedly. They were traveling through the city, on town in business, visiting relatives; one was a refugee from Katrina. Your best bet is to lie; say you're driving to X city and wanted to rest on the Sabbath and attend the local church. Give a false name and no true address or phone number.

You're safe in a mormon meeting; people will probably welcome you and be friendly. Be prepared for chaos; sacrament meeting is a room full of screaming kids and rambling talks. It's boring to most mormons, but try to listen and learn what topics are frequently discussed. In Sunday school just listen; most people are half-asleep. In Relief Society, watch and listen to how the women talk. You'll hear whiney, whispery voices. If it's testimony time, get ready for a room of bawling females who tell how Joseph has transformed their lives and the miracles they've received.

Please come back and tell us how you fared. Bon chance!

I would not lie about being a member or anything, just do not give your real name. I would tell them that you heard about the church in a religion class and were interested. That way you can ask whatever questions you want and everyone will understand.
Depending on where you are, most members are very friendly and will make you feel welcome. Ask good questions, that is what will make it fun.

I can think of so many other things I'd rather do with my Sunday but anyways. I'll repeat the above statements, under no circumstances give them any information on how to find you, ie; address, phone number, depending on the size of your school, you may not want to tell them which one it is. I went to a small community college, and it would probably have been easy for them to track me down. Especially since there was only one dorm for women and it had about 50 rooms total, they could have walked in our hall's common room, described me and anyone would have known who I was.

It's up to you on a fake name and fake or not backstory. You can tell them you're studying for a class or just say you're 'passing through'. Depending on where you live & the ward/members, you may or may not have people bugging you the whole time.

It depends on what you want to get out of your visit. I think you have at least two options of how to go about this:

1) You can make the experience purely to observe. If you don't really want to interact much then sit in the back in any meeting you attend. You won't gather too much attention and you will have a good view of everybody. Either don't tell anybody you are not Mormon and/ or don't talk to anybody very long. In most church meetings this will actually help you blend in, because many people come to them expecting to be spectators, although every ward has people that are extroverted. You best bet to blend in is to wear a conservative dress that covers your shoulders.

2) You can try to get to know a few people there through one-on-one conversations. The time for having conversations with individual people are before and in between meetings. If you arrive twenty minutes early there will probably be at least a few people in the halls or chapel that you can introduce yourself too. They might be really shy or awkward about it, but they will try to carry on a conversation with you if you tell them you are not Mormon. This is an immediate cue in their mind to sick "the missionaries" on you. It will most likely be annoying, so it may be best to keep it hidden that you are not Mormon. Just tell them you are visiting and focus on small talk. If anyone tries to pry into why you are visiting just turn the attention back to them.

The meetings really are dull. There can be some humorous odd moments, but I don't know if you'll pick up on them. Absolutely don't give any missionaries or other people there your real name or contact info if they ask for it to invite you be taught or to attend another meeting. They have weekly meetings just to discuss and organize how to "convert" people who they get contact information from who "they" think might be interested.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/15/2012 12:47AM by Brian M.

People will approach you.
Be sure to give them a fake name and phone number/adress. Once you're on their lists, they'll come bug you.

Also, don't wear flip flops or stilettos.. Or extreme make up or hair.

Best to not show cleavage. sleeves are a must. Jacket or sweater is fine. Nothing too tight.

In other words don't wear anything too cute or sexy.

Here's the thing. You'll go and it'll all seem nice enough. People will smile at you and try to make you feel welcome. During sunday school and/or relief society they'll in all likelihood as you to stand and introduce yourself. If they do, just waive and act timid, say your first name and that you're in the area visiting family or whatever then sit down. They'll probably say "welcome" and that's about it. Growing up, church was nothing that an outsider would come and see and say "oh my god, WTF was that". It's subtle. However, once you learn the lie about the church and then have to listen to it while there, it's utter torture!

I completely agree. You will experience nothing interesting or even weird. It will all be pleasant and dull. They don't talk about anything that would rock the boat or make people think!

The only cool thing would be if they sing "If you could hie to Kolob." in Sacrament meeting...

Oh, and whatever you do, for the love of god/science, please do not tell them that you're there to study the religion. They'll sick the missionaries on you or the bishop or the visiting high counsillor or whatever to give you a major sales pitch on all the good that goes on around there. They'll probably omit the part about its founder threatening 14 year old girls to marry him or doing them in the barn.

Ditto on the idea - don't give them your real name or home address. Wear something that has little cap sleeves and a hem length below the knee. Wear dressy shoes not flip flops. Cover any tattoos - make sure you only have one earring. Sit in the back. Try not to get there too early because no one will talk to you during the meeting - just before and after. Maybe go to a service in the next town over where no one will know you and tell them you are from out of town. Take your BofM or something that looks like a scripture carrying case:
http://deseretbook.com/LDS-Totes/Scripture-Tote/s/1045#q=&page=1&sort=popularity&facets=sub_category:1045%7Ccategory:28
(It's hard to tell but these are roughly the size of two of the Book of Mormons you have.)

Look tired. Practice your vacant stare and your shallow friendliness moves. If someone talks to you, just say hi. Follow the crowd of adults to Sunday School then follow the crowd of women to Relief Society. They might ask you to introduce yourself - just tell them you are "Jane Banks" and are in town driving through to visit relatives in _____ and are leaving to continue your drive after church. (Yes, there are Mormons who will stop at the local church when on vacation, rather than just skipping the church).

Finally, put money in your purse to go to Starbucks or somewhere like that after church because you might need to detox and coffee, tea and alcohol are superior for this purpose. Good luck.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/14/2012 11:06PM by CA girl.

"Jane Banks"? Wasn't she the girl from Mary Poppins? That could be risky as they probably think Mary Poppins is real and would want to meet her.

It will be nosy, businesslike and generally boring.

One other thing, don't worry about not having the triple combination, BOM, D&C, POGP. A lot of people just download it onto their phone, it's an app called gospel library, you can get all the LDS scriptures and manuals there so that you can follow along while in class.

Also, try to avoid communication with anyone, but if you get any prying members, just give them a fake phone number. I recommend 867-5309 (that's Jenny's number, from that 80's song LOL)

When that song was popular, someone had that number and was not happy about getting drunks calling at 3:00AM asking for Jennie.

I want to add that you might attend another congregation away from your home city. You might want to be anonymous, but if you go to a church near your home, there's a very good chance you could run into some neighbor or other person who knows you from the community. I wouldn't take that chance...the missionaries will be at your door I no time.....find a church outside your immediate city.

Can't wait to hear your full report. Good luck!

I'd be interested out of curiosity to visit as a nevermo and I'd have my nom d'eglise handy with a fake address, but I never know what the times are. Mormon Sunday services are not listed either in the Saturday paper or posted outside in front of a LDS church. What is the order of the three-hour structure? I'd only want to stay an hour and then disappear.

Mormon.org has a section of the site where you can search for wards anywhere in the world. You can type in your location and various wards will pop up on the map. The system will choose one ward first; they will also list other wards in the stake under "assigned" and "nearby". They will list the meeting times.

http://mormon.org/meetinghouse

You won't find it remotely strange or interesting. But then you will be able to relate to the boredom of what it must be like for people to have to go through sitting there three hours each Sunday.

My 2 cents:

When you go, please pay special attention to the looks on the members faces. Watch as they drone on through the songs. Notice the body language.

It is very telling.

I went to a service at Jimmy Swaggart's church when I was in Baton Rouge visiting my daughter. It is culturally and psychologically fascinating to see True Believers "worshipping their god". And I don't think it's a dull way to spend 3 hours of your life. Plus, it makes great conversation after the fact.

http://www.jenclothing.com/church-dresses.html

Here are some good examples of modest dresses. Don't wear anything flashy.

Maybe find a CTR ring to blend in.

http://www.ctrringshop.com/black-mini-ctr-ring

Definitely download the scripture app, it's free.

Like others have said, visit a ward far away from where you live.

Most ward houses meet at 9am.

I would be interested in their actions if you just dressed normal and was honest. Just came to worship with them. They would all have something to talk about that night :P

Should she go to services at ward near a tourist area?

That way, she would seem to be a tourist and no one will bother her.

In my neighborhood out here; not that many tourists would go to LDS services. A new visitor might be "pounced on" as a reactivation or missionary project.