1) People don't respect Mormons. They aren't looking to them as an example of light and truth. Mostly, non-LDS are just being polite and/or tolerant of your right to live a wacky religion.

2) Most Mormons don't really live the values they claim. They only appear to live those values. Look how they treat people who leave - pretty shocking for a church that claims to belong to Jesus who taught "Whatsoever you do unto the least of these, my brethren, you do it unto me." They avoid the appearance of evil but only develop the mere appearance of righteousness. Scratch the surface and you'll find it doesn't go very deep.

3) You learn how it feels to be on the other side of the Mormon friendshiping machine and you learn why your efforts never worked. You learn how inappropriate and often unkind Mormon behavior is.

4) You learn how condescending and arrogant the Mormon good example is. You realize no one was ever looking at you and wanting to be a Mormon because of the way they saw you behave. Chances are you turned them off.

5) People are much nicer, kinder, more loyal, more understanding outside of Mormonism than inside. All you were taught about the Mormons being "special" when it came to goodness was complete BS. While there are nice Mormons, non-LDS people are not just equally good they are often better.

6) Same thing goes for spiritual experiences. They don't belong to Mormons. Similar spiritual witnesses occur every day in every religion in the world. Mormons don't have the market on the spirit.

Now that your blinders are off, what reality did you wake up to when you left Mormonism?

-Gays aren't wicked.
-Exmo's aren't evil.
-Beer doesn't kill you.

Nothing is really "missing" that you need to search for.

+1

1. Masturbation doesn't lead to homosexuality.

2. Jesus isn't TSCC's property.

3. Polygamy is not ordained of God and wasn't anything expedient to do to help widows and orphans.

I've always wondered about that old myth that polygamy existed to help widows.

I'm fine with helping widows or anybody else, but why was polygamy -- which the Mormons fought for so bitterly -- necessary to do it? Would the men only help the widows if the widows serviced them sexually? Isn't this like trying to justify prostitution by saying that it's necessary so that widows can have an income?

My understanding was that back in the olden days, it was unseemly for a man to help a woman financially if she wasn't related to him somehow. I've heard stories of this even outside of the cult.

And it's not like most of them were even widows. Sure, Brigham Young had married a lot of Joseph Smith's widowed plural wives, but that's very clearly not the point of polygamy.

Antimormon literature isn't lies...it is truth. And that's why they didn't want us to read it.

There is love out here in the world! Unconditional love does exist, and it is to be found everywhere, in the most unexpected places!

We are free to give love to whomever we please! We don't have to mete it out to just Mormons, and only when they obey. We can love the way we were meant to love.

And, out here in the world, we might just be loved in return!


CA Girl, you were spot-on! A lot of the new things you listed, make me ashamed that was ever a Mormon.

Flyboy, I was afraid of dying, and never finding what was "missing." You are right--we have always had what we needed. That discovery was like coming home. It brought back my self esteem, and independence. My midlife crisis was grappling with the fear that I would never have "wisdom." The truth is, that we never needed any cult to help us figure things out; instead, it led us into confusion.

My time is filled with more meaningful things.

INstead of time at church....time with family
instead of time reading church stuff....reading real history
instead of prep. lessons.....painting and art
instead of assigned friends....time with real friends.
instead of cleaning church.....I grow flowers
instead of hubby at scouts....he's out catching halibut and shrimp
instead of vacation at temple....vacation on oregon coast
instead of water for dinner....nice wine
instead of hot choc. in morning....good coffee

It all adds up to well rounded more interesting life that brings joy instead of guilt and depression.

"It all adds up to well rounded more interesting life that brings joy instead of guilt and depression"

1. You appeared strange to people outside of Mormonism but you did not know this.
2. All the time you took to fulfill your callings and attend services could have been better spent.
3. You didn't have real friends. You tried to impress people who pretend now that you never even existed.
4. At first you think everyone will want to know you found out it's a lie. They will be so happy to know how brilliant you are for figuring out the sham. They will be grateful to you for informing them.
5. You realize shunning someone was worse than drinking coffee or tea.
6. Just about everyone has an opinion on your leaving: Either you are now heaven bound or will spend eternity in outer darkness.



Edited 12 time(s). Last edit at 07/17/2012 04:21AM by suckafoo.

1) When you leave TSCC you don't turn into some wicked, whoring, family-wrecking drunk with no morals - you're basically the same old you with morals and all. -- I guess that was one of the biggest surprises for me:

It's not *I* that changed the most, it's *their* perception of me that's changed the most.

2) As a mormon I always felt that I was part of an ever-expanding, world-wirde church that brought light and love and the gospel of JC to the world.

Boy, was I wrong! ;-)

when somone asked you if you wanted a tea/coffee/wine/beer, they were being polite.
It was not polite - in return - to give them a 10 minute lecture on your beliefs

Perfection is part of your imagination. Once you let 'perfection' go, you can be truly happy.

+1

A-f*cking-men.

1. The deception of mormonism is bigger than you ever could have imagined.
2. Many mormons don't care about what is true, they only care about what feels good.
3. It's amazingly easy to be fooled and manipulated and hard work to see through the lies.
4. Nevertheless, despite it's flaws, we only have our own individual judgement to rely on.
5. Any god that would condemn you for trusting your judgement, ultimately the only thing we have to rely on, is an a--hole that isn't worthy of worship.

These were the first things I learned as an exmo.

These are all wonderful! Thanks for sharing...

I knew most of that stuff growing up. Why do you think I wanted to leave at such an early age, but couldn't?

Yeah - excellent things added I didn't think of. I wanted to give a +100 to all your suggestions.

NOBODY CARES where you came from, what you are doing here, and what will happen to you after you die.

(at least, I don't know any ***intelligent*** people who care about those things. I tend to avoid the dumb & superstitious types...)

The "promises" were all lies.

Live righteously and blessings will be bestowed upon you.
Sin and "challenges" will be placed before you.

In reality, bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. It's what you personally make of those events that determines if you are a good person or a bad person. Most of us are a bit of both, most of the time. There is no "all good" or "all bad" person.

When one correlates good behavior with blessings or bad behavior with punishments, that's just bias confirmation. Correlation ≠ causation.

+1 for sure

I literally lived my life in fear as a Mormon thinking something horrible would happen to my family if I didn't live up to my covenants (or any other asinine task asked of me) 100%. Turns out...bad stuff happens to everyone, it's the circle of life. Having challenges and hard times isn't a result of being punished for sins. Omg once that idea clicked...I was FREE!

I learned that ignorance is not bliss. It is just ignorance.

1.)Just because you say it doesn't make it so.
2.)People that have not been brought up in a religion are just as "good" as those who were brought up mormon.
3.)Nobody knows what happens after this life so quit searching and start living.
4.)There are universal truths that don't need a religion to monitor your behavior.
5.) Nobody is privy to any more information than you have and you are no more special than the next guy.
6.) You do things that are good for others because it is a good thing to do and not because of an alterior motive.(some heavenly reward)

God, spirituality, or just understanding your own humanity, that you can do that on your own journey. The church is a fraud, extorting time and money from people and in return promising rewards that don't exist.

I've learned that I can find answers, strenght and joy within me.

The truest. I had to dust off my brain and jump start it. I think that is why your brain is on overdrive now.

That atheists, for the most part, were more caring and giving than active mormons and did so without any thought of reward in the hereafter.

Spirituality can flourish without religion; in fact, spirituality doesn't require a belief in God, Jesus or life after death.

instead of having someone else's idea of it forced down your throat.

Politicians and large companies also engage in propaganda campaigns to get you to guy what they are selling.

There are a few more things. Water is not evil. Anybody remember the folk teaching that Satan controls the water?

I'm with flyboy. Gays aren't evil. Booze don't kill. And exmos are freakin' awesome people.

T-Bone



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/17/2012 03:02PM by T-Bone.

I think people are nice to Mormons for the same reasons they are nice to people in wheelchairs, or the mentally challenged. When we see somebody who has an extra burden to carry, we tend to be extra nice to them.

Of course, Mormons are so clueless. They can't tell the difference between common decency and validation (which they are so desperate to have).

T-Bone

I love this one T-Bone. If only they knew that was how people perceived them.

Thanks. I posted that tongue in cheek, but from where I sit it's true. Mormons are kind of perceived as a bit lacking in the critical thinking department. I have known some bright Mormons, but they were not bright because they were Mormons. They still had a blind spot when it came to their bat-sh!t religion.

T-Bone

* one drink does not automatically make you an alcoholic.
* the world isn't really a scary place
* god is not a puppet master, continually pulling strings and controlling every event on the earth

When I left my sick LDS home, I found that the mechanisms and works of daily life don't run on Mormonsim. My exhiliration was that of a bird in first flight.

That it's ok to be happy and guilt free.
You can enjoy a Sunday and relax guilt free.
You can have a drink,guilt free.
You aren't everyones sister.
You have a life...guilt free.
Those who truly matter, don't mind...Those who mind Don't matter.

Wanking ain't no thing.

1. You find your Mormon friends aren't your friends any longer.

That once you start looking at the church without the "Don't question anything" or "Just don't think about it, we'll find out someday" restrictions, none of it actually makes any sense at all!

Actually I found the opposite.

Once I understand the Church wasn't true it made far more sense.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/18/2012 07:15AM by Stumbling.