I left the church last October after several years of consideration. With that decision I feel like my life has been going downhill ever since. At the time I had a great job, great friends, money, and didn't have a lot of stress of my plate. After leaving the church I felt free!!
.....now I feel like I've gone completely astray and I'm down that slippery slope to misery. I have little friends, no income, which means no money, and stress is all around me. So much has changed in such a short time. I lost my job and my parents have told me it's because of my leaving the church and my willingness to sacrifice my standards and morals of the world.
I can't thank the members of the Recovery Board enough for the hope and inspiration you each give me. But I have gotten myself in a financial situation that I don't see a way out of anytime soon.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/18/2012 12:38AM by Susan I/S.
Don't feel bad that you lost our job and of course it had nothing to do with Mormonism....unless your boss wanted to do that to you and he was a Mormon. My daughter lost her job and I am helping her. She doesn't get to buy much, but I meet her basic needs, see she gets to a dentist or Dr. for an emergency....slower at checkups for the Dentist tho. Also I am a parent that does not stop parenting once my child is an adult. They can come to me at anytime. Theyknow I am not rich and can only do so much. At times it is hard for me.
I do not enable anyone to live without responsibility. If you show your parents you are being responsible and looking for work they have no right to put you down about leaving "the church". Stay strong and know that some parents are always here for our kids. If yours are not, I pity them for they only had you to add a number to the membership roles of the LDS church.
At one time, when they controlled the sources of information and could keep you isolated, they had you as soon as one of life's little turns popped up.
But now you know you are not alone and you can see things as they are and the manipulation for what it is.
You are not under a curse, and there is no magic that will make it OK. Go out there and immerse yourself in getting those things back. Figure out your goals, make a plan and a contingency, and get to work. Don't take no for an answer. Their voodoo magic is not real unless you let it be real. Find the confidence you had, and know it was you all along.
I'm sorry for your situation, Mrcoffee. This recession has been a brutal one. The aftereffects have continued to linger, although things are just starting to turn around in my area.
Utah had one of the highest rates of home foreclosures during the height of the recession. Misfortune can not be directly linked to lack of church activity, but instead falls upon the religious and unrelgious alike.
Have you applied for unemployment? One idea might be to try working for a temp agency. If an employer likes you, they will have you in mind for any permanent openings. Also, sometimes you need to move to a larger city in order to have more options. Call local non-Mo churches and ask if they know of any food pantries in your area.
Good luck, hang in there, and let us know how it goes. Many of us have had severe financial difficulties at one time or another. This too will pass.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/18/2012 10:53AM by summer.
My husband was in a bishopric.....our baby died. My husband was stake clerk.....he lost his job. My husband was in another bishopric.....out of work for over a year....on and on. I know, I know, that attributes to trials for the righteous syndrome. See how much sense that concept makes?.....absolutely none.
See.....life happens weather you are an active member or not. Activity in the church does not control what happens in your life, even you can't always control what happens in your life in a lot of cases, There are a lot of people not living church standards who are not in financial trouble and are living happy lives. I hope a little reality over rhetoric helps.
It amazes me how your parents pile blame on you in such a diffuclt time in your life.
Normal parents would just encourage you and, if possible, help you as much as they can.
I have a friend who served his mission faithfully, served in TSCC in all kinds of callings with all his best, and paid his tithing faithfully even when he didn't have enough to eat. And he ended up dying alone with no money at all. TSCC did nothing but taking over his funeral from his family. And they brag to this very day about how much they love all members and helped with the funeral.....and my friend died about 10 years ago.
See, even if you've done all you can and given your best to TSCC as my friend did, you can still die alone with no money at all to take care of your own funeral.
It's just life. There will always be ups and downs. And a LOT of people in this economy are stuck in "down".
Sorry about your situation.
It's normal when things go wrong to try and figure out why, or what we could have done differently. But I can guarantee you that the church is NOT true. So why would anyone be punished for leaving it?
And yes, I realize that we all had or still have deap-seated fears about leaving, and the life consequences of losing the blessings and protections the church supposedly provided. I remember waiting for bad things to happen to us when WE left the church. We had the best financial year, ever. And the next year we had the worst. And then things got way better. And then they got hard for a couple years. Etc . Etc . . .
Just hang in there and do the best you can. Things will get better eventually. For a while. ;-)
I understand what you are going through! I agree with the above that financial difficulties have NOTHING to do with the church, and I think in time you will agree as well. My best advice....don't focus on the negative - no money, no friends, etc., but change those thoughts around!! Easier said than done (Believe me, I know, I had a lifetime of negativity drilled into my head thanks to two narcissistic parents), but keep practicing! It doesn't cost a thing and you'll feel better! Do it and see what happens. My thoughts and heart are with you.