My son and I have been terrorized for the last year and a half.
My husband and I are going through a divorce and he is still involved in the church. I'm not looked upon favorably because I refused to support proposition 8 amongst other things.

so far I can't prove it but my husband's home teacher is the son of a very arogant and dirty lawyer. I would like to see if anyone else has gone through somethig similar

I've had Warren Jeffs' goons try to intimidate me. One day when I was giving a speech at the state capitol, one of them followed me around the building trying to listen to every conversation I was having. It was very creepy. He was about as inconspicuous as a swift kick in the groin. When I mentioned to the reporters that he was sticking to me like glue, they hadn't even noticed. But sure enough, whenever I lowered my voice, he'd just squeeze in a little closer. I had to sneak out of the place because I didn't want him following me anywhere else. These people are dangerous. Flora just carries a gun around with her.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 09/29/2010 06:59AM by Troy.

Before we finally resigned under threat of excommunication by the Bishop.

We had quietly gone inactive and rejoined the Catholic Church. I had all my kids re-baptized. The charge against me was apostacy. Interestingly enough, my Jack Mormon husband was not threatened, even though he attended Mass regularly with us (whole 'nother story there).

I had three teen girls in Young Women at that time. To try and reactivate us, The YW leaders and ALL of the girls would EACH make a hand-written/colored card or letter to EACH of my girls during their Wed. nite meetings. That's a letter from every single YW and every single leader X 3!! A couple of days later, when I'd open the mailbox, cards and letters would literally fall on the ground.

I made repeated requests to the Bishop and auxilliary leaders to put us on the "no contact list." But we continued to receive multiple, unannounced visits at our door, baked treats on the doorstep, incessecent phone calls (I was so traumatized by the ringing of the house phone that I refused to answer it for a year), letters/cards in the mail, emails, and random emotional chance encounters in public. One lady hugged me and actually broke down CRYING at the middle school open house! We received giant banners from the Young Women, signed by everybody and expressing how much they loved and missed us.

In one 2-week period, I counted the Mormon contacts we received. I got to 30 before I gave up and quit counting.

Yes, we were STALKED. Yes, we were traumatized.

We had simply tried to sneak away peacefully, under the radar, without any fanfare . . . but the Mormons wouldn't let us.

Finally, when my little boy received a birthday card with a long, rambling, inappropriate note from some stalkerish man, I blew! (We hadn't been in church for more than a year). I called the Bishop at home and told him I was going to take legal action and go to the media if he didn't call off his people and stop harassing us. I told him we were CATHOLIC now and would never be returning to the LDS church.

He told me to remove my name from the rolls. I said we weren't ready to take that step because my TBM FIL was dying, and my husband didn't want to hurt his parents. They are "Mormon Royalty", and we were certain that our resignation would get back to them somehow. Why bust up their entire "eternal family" at the hour of FIL's death when it was such a comfort to both him and my MIL??? What good could that possibly do? It would just inflict unecessary, terrible emotional pain. For what?

Bish didn't care for my explanation. He was just tired of trying to reign in the do-gooders from his ward who kept trying to bring us back into the fold. So he told me I had 2 weeks to resign or he was going to convene a church court for my apostacy.

Bastard.

One of my children was a mentally handicapped YW adopted from Russia. She was extremely disturbed and confused by all of the drama. One late Saturday night, during yet another confrontation call from the Bishop to my husband ("Why can't you reign your wife in?"}, my daughter became so upset that she ran away. Hours later, the police picked her up. She was out of her mind hysterical, and a danger to herself, so the cops handcuffed her and transported DD to the nearest psych ward for 3 days.

I HATE the Mormon Church and everything about it.

Yes, they are stalkers.

The missionaries still hit us up on a regular basis, no matter what I do. And I do some funny things - like slip 'em the Sure Sign of the Nail and chant the "Health in the Naval" ditty.

I hate missionaries, too. I'm sorry to all who have served and all who have children on missions. I will *never* be nice to them - they have disrupted my family beyond repair - literally (again, story for another time). The last companionship that came by recently acted like they were just "tracting out" the neighborhood. Bullshit. They know exactly who we are and they are trying to get to my husband (a Jack Mormon). Now DH's *mother* is dying so he still won't resign. And that's his choice - I don't push it.

I tried to locate the Mission President's phone number last week but got nowhere. I need him to call off his goons. If anyone knows a way to track it down - we are in Jacksonville, Florida.

So, yeah, I HATE what the church has done to our family. Their love-bombing backfired on them big time. NONE of my children will ever go near a Mormon church again in this lifetime. They've seen the damage it has done. And they've told all their friends, too, even keeping one guy from taking the missionary discussions and converting! The kind of PR my kids spread counteracts ANY hokey "I'm a Mormon" campaign on our local airwaves.

So LDS, Inc. pretty much shot themselves in the foot with us. There may have been a chance of "redeeming" some of my kids as they got older and could make their own decisions - they were pretty well indoctrinated. But now?

Hell. and. no.

That's why I post on RfM. Because of what The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints did to my family. (And this is just the short version).

/Rant over/

;o)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/29/2010 03:38PM by shannon.

Do you know how fucking crazy that is? That's fucking crazy!

How can anyone read your story and not think the Mormon Church is a fucking CULT?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/30/2010 04:35PM by winecountrygirl.

My family has been very fortunate, though. We live in a fairly tolerant neighborhood, and there really aren't any wackos in it. We had a couple of persistent Primary/Acheivement Days women but they are leaving us alone now.

I hope you can figure out how to set boundaries and protect yourself, if necessary. It kind of sounds like you need a pit-bull lawyer on YOUR side.

I didn't resign my membership in the Mormon church for two years after leaving the Church, and I got many unwanted calls and visits. Sometimes they would call using phone cards so that their personal information wouldn't show on Caller ID. My then wife used to swear at them. After awhile I just started hanging up or waving them off when I saw them in the window.

Six months after leaving the Church, I got a call from the stake president who announced that I was to "appear" in his office relative to the "abandonment" of my stake calling of asst. ward clerk. They were having stake conference that weekend, and I was going to be released. I absolutely ripped that man a new asshole, which was unusual for me at that time. I was so angry. I had prepared my work to be handed off to the next person, and I gave the bishop two weeks notice like I would any job.

My house was egged on three different occasions. The first time was by some Mormon neighbor kids. They borrowed the eggs from us that they threw on our house. I spoke to their parents about it, and they were horrified and apologized profusely. I don't think they did it again. I don't know who did it the second time. The third time, the eggs were on the back of my house which meant they either had to make a steep climb or trespass through several neighbors' yards. I filed a police report.

The bishop used to make yearly visits saying that it was his "duty." I told him that I hereby absolve him of his duty, but that didn't seem to faze him. Ultimately, he urged us to resign. I said that what they do with their records is their business, I only recognize the stalking and harassment. He said to give him a break, he's just doing what the church tells him to do. So we wrote a resignation letter, and he wrote a letter back saying that he was saddened and urged us to discuss whatever issues we have and come back to Jesus. I called him up and yelled at him.

Finally, I couldn't get the Mormon church to process my resignation. The late Kathy Worthington helped me get that pushed through. When I called Greg Dodge's office, I asked if I could have the "you're out" letter printed on some sort of parchment or bond paper suitable for framing and that I would be willing to cover the cost. The Mr. "Rosenman" I spoke with was infuriated, and that made my day. :)

I don't see any of that. Especially anything that rises to the level of the definitions by the law.

Maybe, in rare cases, there is legal stalking, and harassment, but terrorized? Would that be, in the law, terrorist threats?
I have heard of a few rare cases: bugging a house, or spying on people, entering property without permission etc.

Mormons are people just like us. They don't have any more power than we give them. We don't have to answer a door, or a phone, or talk to anyone we don't want to talk to.
It's not like they are not showing up with guns loaded, for gosh sake!

Pest? Ya, sometimes they are.
That is why I made up my little sign to keep the Mormons away.
I was not going to put up with an ounce of any kind of annoying behavior. And it worked.

My Russian daughter, Sasha, was severely mentally ill with an IQ of 79 (known as borderline). When those YW would write her all those letters and cards and tell her they "missed her" and "loved her" and she was their "best friend" she *believed* it!!!! Never mind that these girls didn't give her the time of day at church.

She would cry and beg to go back to church because so-and-so wants to be her best friend. She was incapable of understanding my reasons for saying, "no." She would work her way into a full-blown, Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) tantrum.

Then she would run away because I was "mean." And the police would pick her up. And then she would be hospitalized in the psych ward. This happened twice during our exit process.

Is it legal to manipulate and harrass a mentally challenged child???? Especially when a parent has set clear boundaries not to do so?!

;o)

are you actually entering into a discussion with Beloved?

Many of the words thrown around these days do not rise to the level of a legal definition or a law suit.
That was the point I was making.

Another term that is misused is: brainwashing.

People tend to thrown around emotionally charged words.

I didn't see anyone saying they were filing a lawsuit. This is a support site, not a legal site. We're here to support each other, not minimize and demean the feelings and experiences of others.

Read the definition of terrorize. It definitely fits what happened to many of us (yes, I know it didn't happen to you, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen to a great number of us who are here for support).

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/terrorize

"It didn't happen to me therefore it didn't happen to anyone." is a regular refrain of hers. It is rather sad since this is a place for understanding and tolerance, not minimalization and someone dismissing your feelings of pain. Too bad Susie doesn't seem to be able to show the same level of "tolerance" to people here that she asks people to show Mormons.

I'm greatly saddened and perplexed by those that personally attack my comments, egregiously twist and misrepresent what I have posted to something I do not promote, or is true.
Personally attacking other posters is inappropriate and non supportive to the board. We are adults. It really needs to stop.

It's been pointed out to you over and over again and you continue to do it. Just try to show the same understanding and tolerance for the hurt and angry people on this board as you ask for others and it will be well. But please stop telling people how they SHOULD feel. If someone feels stalked, harrassed or terrorized it's not your business to tell them they're wrong.

Also, your excuse this time was way off base as no one said anything about lawsuits or legal action -- it was simply an excuse.

I was actually thinking about this last night for a long time. I think you have some good advice for people -- when you phrase it as advice with consideration for their feelings. It's one thing to say "I didn't experience that and I'm grateful I didn't." and an entirely different thing to say "Hey, lots of people do that." (Appeal to Popularity) or "That's been going on since the dawn of time." (Appeal to Tradition) or any of the other statements you make that sound like excuses for bad behavior. It doesn't matter who hurts people, why, or what their culture is. Cannibals are wrong to kill people to eat, the mob is wrong to sell drugs or people or rob or whatever, the fundamentalist Mormons (and some Christian sects) are wrong to break the law and practice polygyny and so on. None of it is justified and the people who are hurt by these actions are hurt. Period. End of story. No excuses OR excusing needed.


By way of example, the comparison that came to mind to me last night was this:

There is another thread where two women are talking about accidents they've been in and the spinal damage they caused. Now I was in an accident once too. I was rear-ended. I suffered from pulled neck muscles -- and that was it. (Other than the damage to my car.)

Shall I get on and explain to these women that the spinal damage that they suffered isn't real because all I had to deal with was pulled muscles? After all, clearly ALL accidents happen JUST like mine -- eh?

This is what you do, over and over, by the phrasing you use in your posts. We get that you had a fairly amicable leaving, you're happy with your believing spouse, and you've "taught" others on how to treat you. It's great that it's worked like that for you. Others have had vastly different experiences, however, and it would be kind of you to work on your phrasing so that you aren't adding to the pain they've already experienced. It puzzles and saddens me that you haven't mastered that courtesy yet, after the many times you've been asked to.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/30/2010 01:12PM by Rebeckah.

than SuzieQ's experience is summed up in her ability to post that note of hers on her front door! That is pretty in-your-face. And with a believing husband to boot.

I don't have the guts for that. I would be better off if I did.

Pat of leaving the morg behind is taking the broader view, and when you get a broad world view, a lot of bitter emotion drops away.

I still have some bitterness, so I enjoy the rants and raves. ;)

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/30/2010 05:15PM by Brother Of Jerry.

Shortly after we started skipping church we would come home to half a dozen answering messages- all from the sisters in RS. Obviously calling by assignment.

The Bishop was a nuisance for a while, but then he finally got tired of my giving him detailed reasons why it was too hard to believe. He also told other people not to contact us after I showed him the door.

We went to a funeral and saw some folks we hadn't seen in a while which prompted one sister to say she was our VT and started calling our answering machine and sending recipes and the monthly message from the Ensign, but that has pretty well stopped. The members of the Priesthood have never made any contact.

We've been pretty lucky, unless you look at it this way:

We never mattered in the first place, except when I had callings that could help them further their own agendas. As soon as we were out of the picture, they stopped pretending to like us.

"WE never mattered in the first place". That describes me to a T. I was never cool enough for the snooty ladies. I have had very little contact from anyone. Our HT came over one evening and my 7 year old answered (she and my 10 year old don't go to the morg) the door. Before even saying hello to her the HT said "Are you saying your prayers every day?" I was upstairs half dressed so couldn't do anything. I feel lucky,but I know from several "discussions" with the Bishop I was hardly his favorite person. I was to much of a feminist.

Proposition 8 seemed to turn even the mildest, quietest members into rabid animals in California and possibly throughout most of north America. The climate was not unlike a feeding frenzy of piranahs and greatly resembled the documentary I watched about the evolution of the nazi party in Germany and the growing hatred and condemnation of jews.

My sister and her bishop husband were right in the middle of it. She called and asked for my allegiance. When I refused, she pretty much considered me an apostate.

after that, she told me that she couldn't afford to call me even though they, along with his brothers contributed thousands to this campaign.

Proving stalking or harassment isn't easy and when a coalition of people pour millions into a project they can afford
the resources to cover their tracks.

My home was damaged, personal belomgings,and paperwork that was pertinant to my divorce. I was branded a trouble maker

After concluding that there was a irrevocable rift between the Mormon church, and my personal integrity of humanization ideals (namely distasteful misogyny, racism, INFANTCIDE homophobia, ignorance, and all the other wonderful things that make Happy Valley a happy happy place), I tried to quietly leave the Mormon church, simply by not showing up and trying to disappear as I have done with other churches. My exit from the church was relatively easy, but neverless bothersome as Mormons don't like to be told what they can do. And will apply an array of methods to try and stall easy procedures. I was love bombed but not to the extent. I'm a loner by nature, and consequently, don't get many phone calls. I got this one phone call from the Daughter of the counselor.... Whom I have never met before inviting me into church. (This was during the 30 month waiting period).

I got the usual "Dodge" Letter.... Even a Frog throated Geek missionary asking me if I wanted to come to meeting next weekend. That they had a "excellent" meeting set up (More tithing bullshit?, more vomit inducing praise to the man, for a lieing poofy haired bimbo Pedophile?), excellent as in coma inducing uninspired sermons that couldn't even stimulate a ghat who fell into a cup of coffee. That kind of "great" ward meeting?

I passed citing that I believed in reincarnation. He geekily and arrogantly replied "That's nice. Would you like to come to church next weekend we have an "Excellent" meeting".

I passed citing that I believed in reincarnation. He geekily and arrogantly replied "That's nice. Would you like to come to church next weekend we have an "Excellent" meeting".


I passed citing that I believed in reincarnation. He geekily and arrogantly replied "That's nice. Would you like to come to church next weekend we have an "Excellent" meeting".

Yes That paragraph was meant for multiple times. Until I drove home that I believed in a belief system that was diametrically opposed to him.

Now I am athiest, and believe in nothing, except a magical Golden Lady named California... She will make my dreams come true. I will be living happy for once in my borring life. Soon California soon..... soonn. sooon........

They did harass us to some extend and i think it's because of how little they values those who are without partners in the church. My home teacher and visiting teacher never really paid attention to us until we left and then they called incessivily, wrote to us, asked us out for a meal, brought homemade jam and asked if they could apologize for anything that they may have said. I had the same home teacher for 10 yrs and he still didn't know my children's names. They are completely clueless as to the reason for leaving. I want to keep it this way because rumors are posinous in the church. My intention is to safegard my family's honor so I do not respond to anything. this just keeps them guessing. My scheme worked well until the other night when someone pounded on my door so loud that I almost called the police. The person identified themselves as members of the church wanting to pick my daughter up for a single night FHE. No one ever cared about my daughter when she was active and now all of a sudden they are concerned. They're a bunch of hypocrates--wolves in sheep clothing. They have an outside pic which is sooo decieving and the inside is far from God. They are a corrupt people who have learned to play the game so that they won't loose the numbers. Loosing the numbers would weaken their corporation. I still hold a lot of anger towards this church

I received a few unsolicited visits, gifts, cards etc, but, no, I wouldn't say I was harrassed. People were pretty respectful. The HTS and VTs came sporadically but didn't pressure me to attend. They sometimes came at inconenient times with calling first, but I see that as inconsiderate, but hardly harrassment. After all, I didn't have to let them in if I was busy, even if busy simply meant I was watching TV.Since I resigned, I have been left alone, although I have had a couple of encounters with mishies in public places. Since they had no idea I had resigned or requested 'no contact' I wouldn't define that as harrassment either.

i never would've believed that the organisation i dedicated 20 yrs of my life to could turn against me and my family so swiftly. I can still remember lying in bed frozen with fear as i thought i heard a car outside idlying on the road. Our car had been vandalised 3 times in 6 months in the middle of the night thanks to the wonderful SP's children (YAs). During this time i can honestly say i was frightened for my safety and that of my children. We were ostracised and black-listed (i was too much of feminist and labelled a trouble-maker). But once we left and the trouble died down,no-one could care less if we were there or not. Some pretended for awhile and now thankfully we have moved states so we're pretty much off the radar. Like so many here, im still angry too.

I've never suffered any harassment myself. I was lucky enough to slip away quietly but growing up in Young Women's I committed many acts of harassment in the name of the church. Of course at the time I thought I was doing a good thing.

I hereby absolve you of your guilt and forgive you of your "sin." ;o)

I'm sure none of those clueless YW who stalked my girls thought they were doing anything wrong either. They were just being manipulated and led by their equally clueless YW leaders.

I did my share of "stalking" inactive sisters as a member of the RS Presidency. I'm still embarrassed by the things I did.

;o)

Oh wait, yeah it does. The bishop sent notes to my son, trying to parent him and telling him not to listen to me. People stop by offering my 11 year old rides to things without asking me if it's OK if my child goes with them. The second counselor, who I thought was a family friend, recently told my son if he needed a ride to anything because mom wouldn't take him, he could call second counselor for a ride. My smart son said "My mom is the one who is always trying to get me to go to stuff - I'm sure she'd be happy to take me herself if I wanted to go." OK, so son stretched the truth A LOT but he said it was worth it to see the shocked look on the man's face.

IMO, the absolute worst thing about Mormonism is the way they go after your children. They have no respect for parents who disagree with them and see nothing wrong with turning children away from their parents to follow their cult. It's totally sick and wrong! If we tried to rescue their kids from a lifetime of Mormonism by teaching them about the true First Vision or the Book of Abraham or MMM, the same Momos would go ballistic. But exmos are supposed to bow their heads and say yes to being treated that way. Unbelievable.

It was at ScoutCamp that the Bishop and some other guy took it upon themselves to save our son. They had lots of conversations, lots of canned answers and plenty of burying test monkeys.

We had already left for the most part. I was still performing my duties in my calling, which could be done on the weekday...

The first thing our son said when he came home was that the Bp said we were running around like chickens with our heads cut off going to these other churches, when we knew better.

Then a few days later, he said that the Bishop told him that he could be strong and steadfast even if his parents were not. That he could still have the priesthood and that anytime he needed to talk, he could call the bishop.

My wife was so mad I thought she was going to go right to biz-hops house! So I went out to the church and finally left a note, my keys and my temple recommend on his desk.

Several months later the Bp came to the house and started trying to make me look bad in front of my son by yelling at me, and telling me that I was destroying my family. At one point the Bp asked me, 'what about him? What are you going to teach him now?'

I said, well, first I'm gonna teach him to remember this conversation, and how you are acting.

After he left, I asked my son how he felt about this whole thing he had witnessed, and he said that too much religion makes people crazy.

So while he does really like our new church, his experiences involving discovering the BoA fraud (on his own at 11yo), and watching Bps and Sps and other people attack us have led him to doubt the existence or desireability of God.

Including similar stories like the fact that the "Fireside" at my son's Boy Scout Camp was about developing your own testimony, independent of your parents and how the bishop's family fell apart when he was a boy because the bishop's dad wasn't LDS. Bishop said he never wanted to lose his family so he was committed to living Moism faithfully. What a scare tactic to use on kids - be a good Mormon or you'll never see your family again. It backfired with DS though. I'd been telling him he needed to respect his father's religious beliefs if he was going to listen to mine and that it wouldn't hurt son to go to Sacrament meeting once in a while to make Dad happy. My son came home from camp and announced the bishop told him he didn't have to make his dad happy - he could rely on his own testimony and that son's testimony was that Mormonism is a big fraud. "So I'm not going to Sac meeting any more." And he has only gone once since early last summer because of the bishop's inspired word. lol

And, I also use bad Mormon behavior against the church, saying "Watch how they are acting - that is what a Mormon is. Do you want that in your life?" The old saying "The biggest anti-Mormons are the members themselves," has proved true with my kids.

I say, if they're going to pester our children, all you have to say to their children is the truth--"You can find out all about the church's history on the internet when you grow up." (Cue nicest voice possible.)

They just walked in to my house with out ringing the bell. When I started locking the front door they would walk around back and open the gate and come in the back door. That stopped after my dog bite one of them and the cops said we were in the right the gate lock was on the inside of the gate.

Yes--in various ways.

The worst was when the bishop decided to "save me" a few years ago since my daughter is now TBM and she became very close to the bishop and his family (who live 2 doors down). He has since been released. He e-mailed me for days bearing his testimony. I reminded him of when he used to mow his lawn on sundays while I was walking to church.

The new bishop--he is one person I know better than most in the ward for many reasons. I GUESSED he was going to be the next bishop before he was put in. He told my daughter he would leave me alone . . . he has already invited my ex and my son back to church. He hasn't caught me out of doors yet. What is it about a completely decent guy becoming bishop that makes him into a bastard so quickly?

He was my neighbor for awhile, and we got along well. Then he became my bishop and started asking me questions in interviews about rated R movies and masturbation. This was when I was in my 30s. After I left the Church, he was very obnoxious and led that whole three ring circus of unwanted calls and visits after I explicitly told him to leave me alone.

I think a lot of Mormon men are just biding their time, punching all the right tickets so they can grasp the brass ring. It's hard to figure out.