Date: September 17, 2010 12:24PM
It's been quite a while since I've posted, but I recently got a couple very unexpected and exciting phone calls, which got me wondering if anyone else has had similar experiences.
(For quick background, my younger brother and I are the only ones openly not living the TBM lifestyle out of both sides of our entire extended families.)
The first call was from my mother's younger sister. She was very nervous reaching out, even though she had been to my lovely non-temple wedding to my very non mormon husband. She was worried that I was still a believer, but had fallen into that horrible trap of accidentally falling in love with a non-member.
She confessed that she had been having doubts and had been doing some research. She was so encouraged when I listed a few of the very things that had been bugging her for so long. We had a very lovely long chat and we were both so relieved to know that we weren't each the only one in the family that could see the absurdity. (I was especially happy that she had stopped believing, because for her as an unmarried woman over the age of 19, I couldn't imagine how much pressure she was under, and how bad she had to feel.) We could have kept talking but were interupted when my uncle (her oldest brother) stopped by her house.
The next night I got a call from this uncle. At first I was a little scared because he had never called me before and from all appearences he was very TBM. I answered expecting a 'come unto Jesus' talk from him and an admonition for corrupting his precious sister. What I got was very different.
Apparently a few nights before he and my aunt had been in the middle of a conversation where they accidentally outed themselves to each other. They were both relieved to no longer be alone, and that's what gave my aunt the idea to reach out to me. (They had agreed not to out each other to anyone else, which is why he called himself)
So now that I know that 2 more of the adults in my family have had the strength to actually start questioning the way things are, I have been looking at everyone more carefully for any sign that they are also feeling alone. There are a few that I am pretty sure are just going with the flow to avoid the pain of rocking the boat.
Does anyone have any ideas on ways to approach them, or is it best to just wait until they reach out?