One of the things that I always found fascinating and confusing growing up as a TBM was the concept of eternal marriage in TSCC. It's not just that you will be sealed to your spouse for all eternity but that the decision is supposed to be made relatively quick. Mix this in with the fact that most mormons come to believe that they will be having sex in the eternities and there will be childbirth, and then there is the constant repression and taboo of sexuality in mormonism...well let's just say it's a messy picture and is painted like this...

You are a TBM. You have the potential to become a god/goddess. To do this you need a spouse. You must find a husband/wife, and you must find them quick (for some unknown reason). Finding your spouse is supposed to be the biggest decision you will ever make in your life (remember you will spend ETERNITY with them) - but also remember that at BYU you should make the decision in about 3 weeks time. Guys you shouldn't care about boobies, because you shouldn't care about sex (even though you'll be supposedly having it forever and creating trillions of spirit babies) and gal's, you don't have sex drives in mormonism, right? - and if you do, you are a slut and nobody wants you. You finally find the person of your disturbed freudian dreams, after only a miraculous 2 1/2 long weeks searching, and the spirit testifies to you that he/she is the one (the spirit feels very similar to the feeling that you got when Tom Hanks kissed Meg Ryans in "Sleepless in Seattle" - fancy that). You are sure that you two met up in the pre-existance. You run to the temple and love eachother so much that you pretend to slit your throat...oh wait that was before 1990 and I don't think that had to do with loving eachother...hmmm. Anyways, you have a drive-by reception where you invite as many people as you've ever met because you have no money (although you continue to pay tithing) and need gifts; hopefully money. You are finally married. Hopefully virgins. Time for sex. It probably doesn't go well. Oh well you have an eternity to learn.

Some TBM couples who were married I just didn't buy the thought of them really wanting to be married forever. They fought so much, never spent any time together, and when they did they talked about themselves and knew very little about their spouse. I also found the idea of polygamy appalling. When I found out mormons were still practicing it by the fact that they were letting men whose wives had passed away to be sealed to another I was shocked. How did this fit with the thought of a joyfull eternal marriage...for me it didn't. It was just another sign of sexism.

Anyways those were the thoughts I got as I considered/consider the thought of being forever married to one or more people forever...anyone wanna chime in?

The church has done a bit of damage to my life, but the one amazing thing I took away was my husband. We've been married 9 years which I realize in the grand scheme isnt that long, but we are and have been very happy. I REALLY HOPE MY CHILDREN WAIT. I turned 20 one month before we got married, my husband was 23. We are SOOOOO lucky and say it everyday. My sis was divorced 2 years after getting wed to a man she knew for 2 months, my mom was married at 19 and divorced at 40. Sometimes you luck out and grow and change together, but most times you dont. I'm 29 and just within the past few years have discovered who I am ( at least for now) I hope my kids wait till they are at least 25.

If there is life after death I would be so happy to spend it with William. BUT NO ONE ELSE! I always hated that idea. I would spend my life working hard to make my relationship work, struggle through all the hard times, and then some other woman gets to share my husband with me after that! And he's supposed to love her as much as me HELL NO.

The details, such as your spouse, are unimportant. What is important is that your marraige occurs in the temple.

If you are a woman the important thing (and what your worth of a person in the eyes of the church is based on) is how many kids you raise. While motherhood is special and important, it shouldn't be your only defining characteristic.
If you are a man, she's only your first wife... if she doesn't put out in heaven you'll have plenty more to chose from.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/27/2010 04:15PM by strivingforbalance.