I am moving and I will be beginning a new chapter. However, I know some people in the new place. No question they will take a whiff with my presence in town. They will expect me to go to their ward. However, as I begin this new chapter, I am resolved to stop attending church once and for all. How do I explain to those people as they start prodding why I didn't visit them? What can or should I say? I know this will open the floodgates. I am not looking to make noises, but this is kind of inevitable. I am not scared but I dread facing it like taking a final exam. Okay, just go and bite it and see what happens after? I wonder if anyone experienced going through this and then it gets better later in their journey? Any advice will be greatly appreciated!

Khark

say nothing unless specifically asked. Then answer only the specific question as calmly and matter-of-factly as you can. Don't go into any detail unless they press you for it.

After being a disbeliever and non-attender for 10 years I was called to be a home teacher. This was interesting. I wondered if I should accept or not. I asked advice from a friend who was a BYU professor (who was later fired from BYU for not keeping his ecclesiastical endorsement) and his advice was to go and at every visit ask, "do you have enough food and fuel to last the month?"

I decided to accept the calling. My neighbor was my HT companion and he made all the appointments. I vowed that I would not lie to ANYONE and that if asked a direct question I would give an honest and direct answer.

In two years my disbelief was only touched on once. At one house my companion asked if I thought the dead could see us here on earth. I replied, "they're dead." He pressed me, "I mean their spirits." I replied again, "they're dead." That was the end of it.

Anyway, it might be easier than you think. I have good friends who are Mormons who know I'm inactive but have never brought up my beliefs. We get along fine; the Church is never discussed.

I used to say, "I'm in transition spiritually and having some profound spiritual experiences through the benefit of solitude. Would you like to know more?"

They never say yes. Mormons can't comprehend solitude as a spiritual journey of any value. The church doesn't want anybody getting any insights that didn't come from them.

And they used to offer milk, then meat. Now it's chalkwater.

Anagrammy

In the beginning, the meat was the Adam-God theory and polygamy. Then the temple rituals, then the second anointing.

Now there's no flam in their flim-flam. Just flim.

Anagrammy

Couple things. Is it possible to move without divulging your new address? (usually it's inevitable that they will find out one way or another your address). Or, is it premature for you to resign before you move so that your records don't go anywhere but in the trash?

Assuming neither of those are possible, I feel for you. It'll come down to your inevitable interactions with them. My only advice would be, when you're speaking with someone, be it at your door or on the phone, come across as CONFIDENT in your convictions. Don't act shy as they may feel you are more susceptible to their influences. If you come across as confident, it'll make a world of difference and they may realize sooner that you believe in what you believe which is most certainly not what they believe.

Thanks for the comments. Baura, did you continue to attend church? Or you was given the calling to home teach in absentia?

I also love your suggestion, Anagrammy. I have been a TBM for 30+ years and this will not go quietly.

However, I want to be honest with myself and with everyone. I definitely would say I am on my own spiritual journey.

I am just anxious that this very step knowing there is no turning back. Don't get me wrong, I look forward to it and this is an one-time thing.

Cheers,

Khark

Mormoney --

This is another issue. I am the one unplugged and my family is not. I would want to bring them out if possible. I just wanted my family intact. So far so good and I don't want to upset the balance. I need to stand for myself -- I did with my wife and she respected me for that, though it took some time. I wanted the same for my association with other people other than family.

Cheers,

Khark

You're going to be one of those!

Ana

Thanks, Ana